Rome, Italy: Solo Female That Shattered Illusions
This is CompassChaos13(CC13): A Real Travel Podcast where Compass Plans, Chaos Rules - Connections Happen Memories of Global Adventures
HEATHER (V.O.): I’m Heather, your adventure narrator and warm body for the hosts for this flying circus.
Today, we’re diving into Rome once again, only this time it is December 2008! We are in our mid-twenties, Alyssa our daughter is going to be 5 in a few months being left in the care of her father and the watchful eye of Omaha.
COMPASS: It started as a required need to be temporarily free once again, reflecting on a 5 yr baby momma relationship.
CHAOS: Hey, not only was Alyssa the best gift he ever gave us…She was the ultimate Graduation present, high school and three college graduations to be exact! Our combined instincts are always correct. But this will never be about him… This memory ends with being walked back to our hotel by two university film art graduates in Rome after running around Rome with them all night and the following day. I can’t believe they insisted on walking us to our FAM hotel. Where our immediate boss who fucking hated us, because we refused to push a client into an upsell when they had a specific budget, just arrived. We are not talking a pre-night or post night for a cruise or tour which we ALWAYS will recommend at the very least… I am talking about from a garden balcony to a Sea View…. Why? How long do you plan on being in that room? Are you traveling with family, little kids, teens? Do you really need a view of a body of water for more per person… when really all you need the balcony for, is so you can literally shut the fucking madness out for 2 minutes before someone screams bloody murder, breaks a bed from jumping on it or the spouse (either way doesn’t matter) comes flying throw the balcony door screaming to get your ass inside and help with the demon spawn that they helped create!!
Compass: Whoa, where in the hell did that channel from? And this story is only the 1st night in Rome, our meeting them and making plans for the following day where we have to be out of one hotel and at another out in the middle of nowhere.
Chaos: that steamed from the days when we had three children, two weren’t our spawn by blood.. But blood, baseball bats, swears and tears they were…
Compass: I forgot about the baseball bat fiasco.. I still cringe… the good thing if there is, was that it was a wiffle ball bat…
Chaos: So now we have to derail for a moment cause this sounds bad.. And that is coming from me, Chaos!! Transport is our old house on the other side of Rhode Island cleaning up from lunch on a Saturday watching Alyssa and two of our best friend’s kids. Alyssa has started t-ball so she is teaching J, how to hit off the cone in the back yard… D his sister is by, what we would use as the pitchers mound… no worries right… SO WRONG… As Alyssa trades places with J, D wants her turn and runs over to the cone…. J focused on the ball, is now winding back to give that plastic ball a good whack…
Compass: This is no longer moving in real time…. This becomes a fucking (pardon my wording) slow motion fight action scene playing out in front of us….
Chaos: There is the wind up…. And the swing….. WAAA POW yellow whiffle plastic across a 2 and a half year olds face…. FUCKING KIDS!!! GOD DAM IT
Compass: Exact words spoken and never truer… But did that stop us in any way, from taking those kids anytime and making them our own? Nope…. They are now 22 and 19 still calling us Auntie… AND WE LOVE EVERY MINUTE…
Chaos: More now because they are adults… I can be the fun Aunt again, instead of the one used as a threat … I will miss the “Don’t make me call Auntie Heather” discussions with Maryah our B.F., we will have to reminisce when we go out again…
HEATHER (V.O.): Okay I am going to stop this derailment before I can’t get it back on track….. Now for departing on this adventure there need to be a few safety checks. First: any brand we mention is one we actually use and trust. We get zero monetary gain for these—if that ever changes, we promise total transparency. Second: this flight is for adults only. Expect questionable language and emotional turbulence. Finally, there are no warnings when the unexpected happens, because there are no warnings in real life…
HEATHER (V.O.): Now, let’s Meet your dueling hosts: Compass, the one who plans—and Chaos, the one who burns them. Together, they find the magic in the mess.
COMPASS (V.O.): I’m Compass. My plan is to experience the top tourist things. But, as usual, my head-space companion Chaos has other plans.
CHAOS: Hey Hey Chaos here! I am the patron saint of "we’ll figure it out,". I bring the unexpected, and the reason you want to hear travel tales.. that are actually worth listening to!
COMPASS (V.O.): Together, we bring the connection.
HEATHER (V.O.): Sit back, relax, and push that subscribe button……
CHAOS: So, buckle up buttercups, for our memory of Rome Solo……, because honestly the best stories aren't planned. As Compass started to say before I hijacked the first what 3 minutes or so… Mid-twenties, kiddo is being left behind along with everyone else. This is for work. Full disclosure since Compass likes those… This was our first FAM and our first work as a full fledged AAA trained travel agent, not just a North American Drive Destentaion specialist… that was always fucking mouth full to say… FAM’s are always voluntary and looked on very highly on in the industry, but they are fast, condensied, perfected shortened tours that the public is sold based on the agents experience. So they make sure agents are taken care of. LIttle did donor know…
Compass: Really…. That is going to be the chosen nickname here….
Chaos: I have others but you said play nice … That is the best I got for the world and him…and I am sure he has some choice names for us, not that I could blame him. Moving on. I, through Transport’s mouth, told him that it was mandatory and that it was for 10 days including overnight flight…. Reality was the FAM tour was 7 days that included the overnight flight… But that was not going to be enough, especially since the FAM tour didn’t touch Rome. It was just a landing spot to head north to Florence, Assis, Sienna, Perugia and Monticaini…
Compass: Naturally there was no way we were going to fly into the Eternal City and not see it. Not with just gaining our history degree a few years back!!
Chaos: Let’s be honest, if we hadn’t received such an unexpected Life Adventure Goal we named Alyssa, Transport would be fluent in Italian, have a PHD in expresso, and be able to the high notes in Ave Maria! In other words Arverderci la mia famiglia..
Compass: I think the La Familia is Spanish or Portuguese…
Chaos: I don’t think that is what I said …. But Romance languages certain words are understood. Omaha dropped us off at Logan Express bus in Providence, RI with our daughter allcomfy in her seat. We gave her a long kiss and hug good bye and same with Omaha thanking her for taking us. We headed up to Boston on the Logan Express.
Compass: Our flight was on Alatila… They were the only ones that were at the time offering agent rates still for flights. Now, it is all about group blocks with a 1 in 10 or 15 or 20…
Chaos: What she means is… for every 10, 15, 20 seats you sell on a group block there is 1 free (base air is free… fuel, gov’t, taxes, luggage, upgrades etc. still have to be paid) so reality of savings is only a couple to a few hundred bucks since the fuel, gov’t and taxes are the cost of.. if not more than the base fare of the ticket… I’m Going off on a quick tangient here because it is relevant to the current climate. [angry] This bullshit of airlines raising luggage prices because of fuel… You know what this is….Come on Kin, I know you use what your mamma gave you, brains……. It’s Industry PBS!!! It says in the ticket that Fuel costs can change at anytime including when the ticket is already paid due to unforeseen circumstances…. But when that unforeseen goes away the airlines have to now remove the additional fuel charges for the current sale ticket prices… NOW, by adding the rising fuel costs to LUGGAGE they no longer are required to remove the additional increase due to fuel charges.. So when fuel does come down the luggage fees will remain the same… Slight of words still the same slimy hands.
Compass: Breath…. I know this is a nerve for all three of us, Heather’s heart is starting to pump and I can feel her face and neck heating up which means she is starting to turn red. Getting back to the memory, we made it to Boston Logan at about 530 and got through TSA with little to no wait and took our seat at the gate.
Chaos: Now you would think I would have been bored out of my figurative mind, but we got really into the Twilight series… this around the release of the book that takes place in Italy in the Catacombs… that is all I remember about that book and the vampire battle at the end, I think it was that one… or was there one more after that… doesn’t matter. Back then we were hooked. WE couldn’t put it down…
Compass: When we boarded the plane it was a very open flight… There were so many rows without bodies in them it was bliss… We have never had another flight like that since….
Chaos: Yeah it was nice to take a whole middle row and stretch out over 4 seats, with no one for at least three rows on either side of us. I doubt we will ever get that again…
Compass: We can still dream… so as we did manage to get some sleep on the plane, we dream that we are now living the chapters in the book that we just fell asleep reading. All I remember was the catacombs and be surrounded by the Valteri… knowing we were going to die.
Chaos: I didn’t think death…. I was hoping for a turn. It was a cool dream, I remember the catacombs, the Valtteri.. But I also remember the colors, the fire in the black cast iron wall scones from the 13th century as it danced on the orangish walls unable to tell if it was stone or actual packed dirt. I remember there being other people there next to us, scared and shaking… but the fire in the black cast iron all over the walls showed a … best described as a carved ledge that may have been several old early christian coves for the dead that are now long gone, worn smooth from foot traffic were a few figures…. Even with the dream vampires standing there watching, listening, smelling us and one walking the line… I couldn’t get over how fucking cool this place actual was.
Compass: It was a dream… but it did have an eerie 13th century ambiance to it… but again we were reading a vampire book that is set in Italy on a plane on our way to Italy… You think our brain was oversimulated!? Well, we woke when we hit a speed bump..
Chaos: [laughs] that is what she calls turbulence… every time a plane drops she makes this weird noise… I can’t quite get it right .. {suck in air and eeeeeee] … something like that.. Actually that is the same noise you make everytime we have an adventure moment. LIke you inhaled a bug or roach.. The car ride in Gjirokaster comes to mind.
Compass: hahahaha… very funny, if any is swallowing roaches that would be you puff the magic dragon.
Chaos: We live by the sea… but this sure ain’t no land of fucking harmony!
Compass: We live by an Ocean… Atlantic to be precis…
Chaos: actually if you want to be precise we live in between two Bays.
Compass: I give!! This memory is never getting done…. Focus Chaos… Again, as the plane hit a speed bump… I jerked Heather awake and half up in her seat.
Chaos: Compass forgot that she had made Transport put on her seat belt when she laid down… I mean really that was so uncomfortable.
Compass: Better slight discomfort than being launched into the air only to land on top of the seats in front of you breaking a rib, a nose, checkbone… and we can’t sue, at the time of the emergency procedure that we are supposed to be listening to.. They say when in your seat even when the seatbelt sign is off you should have your seltbelt on for safety. In other words we may know when turbulence is coming with our instruments, but sometimes it is unavoidable…
Chaos: Reality… it’s a measured technological crap shoot depending on how old the plane is. Remember this is 2008 some of these planes are not new nor are the techie equipped like some that have come out in the last few years.. As Transport gathered herself upright and stretched as much as allowed without getting up she noticed down the aisle that the flight attendant was getting the breakfast cart ready… well there goes that dream, but Compass' fear of getting kidnapped by vampires in Rome didn’t leave Compass the whole time we were there. Such a wimp.. Vampires
Compass: Shut up! You’re intentionally making me sound like a fool… [throw clenched teeth] and I don’t like it …. Keep playing with me Chaos, I’ll steal Heather’s cane and Singapore your ass, keep playin.
Heather: Ladies! 1. No one touches my bamboo cane…. But me… get that understood and clear here….now… 2. No more side shows… we have reached our side show limit for this episode. 3. I am glad to see you both promoting reading over social or gaming usage on a plane. Now let’s keep it focused at the very least please…. Thank you.
Compass: [whispers] Chaos don’t smirk.. It’s not a challenge… don’t….
Chaos: [singing] I’m not touching it…. I;m not touching it…. OWWW Fucking Witch!
Compass: [laughing] I can hear dad’s voice … the nun’s at St. Alawishes would have been proud of that knuckle cracker…. Heather’s gonna have to put some AI generated scars on your picture on the logo…
Heather: Next time it’s your mouth Chaos, be happy it was just your knuckles this time… you need to be faster, you lost your reflexes…
Chaos: [still hurting] ssssss…… apparently… Just another reminder to be quicker next time. That still hurts… Nice to know you haven’t lost all your kicking boxing skills… but you're still a witch.
Heather: Love you too Chaos now back to the memory… Actually Compass why don’t you take over while Chaos licks her wounds…
Compass: [giggles] Told you don’t… but you just had to… ohhhh that’s red .. is it starting to welt?..... Oh my god it is…. She got you good. I almost feel sorry…. Almost. We landed at Rome Funichilli Airport at 7 am …. We had only packed a carry on, even then we knew better than to be weighed down when traveling internationally. As soon as we got off the plane we were on route to the Leonardo express train that links that airport directly to the major train station in the heart of Rome. We followed the signs to the train, which back then were easy to navigate and have only gotten better. We last flew out in November of 2024. 30 minutes with no stops we stepped off the train to the platform in the middle of Rome. The station feels huge and crazy but it is an organized chaos…
Chaos: Much like us!!
Compass: Yes much like us…. How’s your hand
Chaos: Fine…. Nothings’ broken and she didn’t break skin ….
Compass: True.. however. I thought you and I taught her never to leave incriminating marks….. That looks incriminating to me… Heather….. HEATHER!!!
Heather: Yes, Compass….
Compass: You need to put a sock on the ends of the Singapore Sally… that should still allow max impact but without the long term incriminating marks. I am just throwing that out there for clothing to think about for Sally.
Heather: [laughing] Singapore Sally…… where in the depths of your figurative ass did you pull that out of ….
Compass: You said the side shows for this episode were reached…..
Heather: For curiosity sake, I’ll make an exception….
Chaos: [sarcastic questioning] Shouldn’t you know this being the one walking around with the brain and all…. HA.. missed….
Compass: When Singapore Sally stops swinging…. I’ll tell you.
Chaos: That sounds like the start of a great joke….. Or a good porn movie! Missed again… [angry] Hey! not the pretty face… we need it for bargaining while we still have it… Goddess’s know we can’t rely on the mouth part.
Heather: Then stuff yours with something…. How about Singapore Sally… that is catchy, Compass not going to lie…
Compass: I regret that name now….. It came from combining knowledge of Singapore history where they use caning as a form of government punishment, still do I believe and the song Mustang Sally cause it popped in my head while you whipped that thing around. I didn’t stop to think before I said it… that Chaos would turn it into something …. Else…
Chaos: You can always count on that from me….. [giggles] that should be your only constant… that is what i do. That’s why we have had such a great life! .. Save the look… Yes you and Transport question some of our life choices that I made… I still stand behind everyone… because if not we would not be here, exactly where we are at this moment in time.
Heather: Okay… Compass thank you for the name and how it came to be… Chaos…. Done, focus.
Compass: Arriving at the train station we walked out to meet the bustling piazza in front of the station. Buses, taxies, tour buses, regular buses, metros, pedistrians along with bikes and other things with wheels… The phones again at this time still flip and google maps launched three years earlier. We had a AAA Rome city paper map. That’s right… ancient ways. Well it’s not on animal skin’s but it’s not digital. Pulling out the map along with the few other tourists that were there in Rome in early December. Having the street intersection pre-circled to save time.. Think of it as a manual red dot on a paper google (not the blue one where you are, the red where you want to end) that you have to fold, keep dry and not make more creases than needed. Talk about overwhelming for a first time solo international trip. We chose our hotel based on the fact that it was near the station, it was also within walking distance of Coleussum, Roman Forum and other sites… perfect. It was a Best Western you booked two nights in a European Single, which is just for the single traveler. You don’t pay the double room pricing because the room is much smaller.
Chaos: Think of a closet with a bathroom that you can shower, shit and brush your teeth all at the same time. Only we are not there yet…. So we walk about 10 minutes up the road to the intersection we have circled… Okay… we knew that it was a right then it should be somewhere on the left… if our memory served us correctly.
Compass: It did… we found it… walking up to the front desk we checked to see if a room was ready… it was not… didn’t figure it would be at 830am. So we asked for them to hold our bags…
Chaos: And instead of running out the door to explore…. Compass and Heather want to sit down in the lobby, relax and read…. Ahhhh… didn’t we just do that on the 8 hour flight over! This is where one of my Non-Negiotables of travel came from…. Never sit down or lay down after an international flight. Knock back an expresso or two standing up… then go exploring… there doesn’t have to be a plan. *PRO VET TIP: Drink water starting the day before and leading up to the flight, but keep the liquid in take a minimum after that last pit stop at the airport terminal prior to stepping on the plane. Then once you land, hydrate again like a cod fish while having your espresso if needed. This decreases the need to sleep or want to hurt your travel partner. Also, walk the area to get a feel and sense of direction. Use this time to get your bearings by using stores or memorable landmarks that will help navigate the tight neighborhoods to find your hotel.
So now being out voted we sat and read…. Within 20 minutes we were out cold on the couch of the lobby of the hotel. When we woke up it was in the afternoon… In a sleepy stupor, we went back to the front desk and asked about our room….
Compass: It was ready… up we went… in we went.. 5 steps.. And this is the room. Bed to the left, a built-in closet to the wall to the right, a wall mounted desk on the far wall just at the foot of the bed… if we were about 6 inches tall our foot could have gone through the t.v. one night… Cozy..
Chaos: Bullshit… tiny, minut, miniscul, ity bity.. Come to mind… not cozy. But it was just us, well Transport physically. She didn’t need anything more. On the bed Transport collapsed once again… This adventure was currently going nowhere!
Compass: She only slept for another hour because then we had to get up, shower and go find the meeting place for the night tour we were going to take of Rome. This is when we first started independently testing the vendors of the company. Viator was our first independent audit with a vendor of theirs for a night time Rome tour with dinner. If memory serves me correctly.
Chaos: which after 20 years of sweet smelling haze, 50 billion useless facts that will never be used and trying to keep our long term memory in tact… storage space is has reached max capacity. I won't it bank on our memory!
Compass: So you're going to give our kin the image that our memory is shit and doubt of what we remember is true or if we just remember it that way… why would you give our kin something to question is on….
Chaos: Because no one, especially our kin should ever take anything at face or mouth value. That's just stupidity at its finest.. that would be blind faith… you know how we feel about blind faith. And while we are on the subject loyalty doesn't mean blind faith. Loyalty by definition is that you align with someone or something and follow them until you don't align anymore. Nowadays, the word, loyalty gets thrown around like an ICE raid in New Bedford, never ending, scary and if you get caught up, you have to fight through the depths of hell to be released.
Compass: ummm not sure that was the best analogy but it was very good visual.
Chaos: All I am saying is that loyalty has no weight anymore.. and honestly I don't want loyalty from our Kin.. they are not sheep… they are mythical Phoenixs.. they are only loyal to their own spirits, self value and life. Seems like loyalty and trust are being interchanged and that is a big no no.. We want trust with our Kin, not loyalty. I want to trust that our kin is going to call out our mistakes, blunders, bias blinders and fact check our information to make sure we are giving the most updated information. We don't want faithfully blind… we want educated (not just book smarts, but life or street smarts).. life is really the only classroom we never graduate from. The rules are always changing, except one… Death.
Compass; Yes everyone as soon as they take their first breath begins the March to death.
Chaos: Exactly… so why march with the rest of the herd? It's not like an animal herd where if we strayed from the pack death will get us.. in the human herd death picks off whenever it feels like or when humans do stupid fucking shit. I say .. Rage.. Rage against the dying of the light! While taking those roads less traveled to get there!
Compass; you just chopped up two literary Classics… stop the chop shop already. Dylan Thomas and Robert Frost are going to side with the universe out of spite of you don't cut the shit.
Chaos: That will be fun… rage and making our own way.. wait, how is that different from any other day?
Compass: it's not really.. let's get back to the memory. Now up, showered and in fresh clothes we wandered out of our hotel into the chilly Roman night. Looking at our printed pass with the meeting place and pulling out our trusted Rome city map, the meeting spot was only down the road and around on the corner.. sweet easy.
Chaos; yeah sadly… but there is something to be said about the Eternal City at night. It has its own unique energy running through it but most tourists don't experience it. They feel with their eyes while their minds are checking boxes..
Compass: To be fair Chaos .. everyone starts out as a tourist even us. We just know that perfect is an illusion you're sold cause you can't make everyone happy every single time…
Chaos; I love the people that say they can and they do!!! I call full out bull diarrhea of the mouth, not even shit, cause at least shit gives the illusion of being solid… I mean.. fuck not any God, Goddess' ancient, now or not invented yet will never make everyone happy. If they say shit like that, there is snake oil somewhere they want you to take. That should be a warning of what are they trying to sell me.
Compass: Wow you are all over today.. your pushing the boundaries with our kins attention span here
Chaos: My sugared up chipmunks will appreciate the distraction.. your stick in the ass’ need a distraction or a sedation session.
Compass: Aaaahahhh… anyone else ever feel the need to throw their sugared up chipmunk?
Chaos: ASPCA is going to have a field day with that!! Sure you don't want to follow that up with a legal disclaimer; no sugared chipmunks or any other animals sugared or not.. where harmed, violated, harassed or assaulted at my time.. not just during the making and taping of this audio. (Laughing)
Heather; Okay show is over… we will try again next week kin.. Really sorry about this.. Chaos you ever lock me in a metal shed again you will be buried so deep in my mind that even the Titans will feel sorry for you.
Chaos: at least it isn't 85 outside.. like when you did it to Grampa at the rip.ole age 8.
Heather; that was on a dare from our cousins.. and a little testing of our growing tits. Man, did we get get in trouble for that…
Chaos: only from mom really.. it was her father.. dad thought it was funny but said we shouldn't have done it and so we are grounded. Dad and Gramps never did get along…
Compass: Okay enough of the family dynamics and drama.. are we really ending the story? I promise I'll keep Chaos within the realm of the memory.
Chaos: so keep it to short side shows.. like Facebook or Tickytocky..
Heather: ok .. we will try this one last time and Chaos it's ticktok.
Chaos: I know I like fucking with people.. did anyone notice that ticktok is also the sound time wasting a way on a clock makes… literally named a company after the sound of wastimg time and it makes Billions… You have to admire the Chinese.. fucking psychological brilliance
Compass: Back to our Nightly Rome adventure… let's see if Chaos can bring the feeling back now…
Chaos: I heard a challenge…
Compass: (giggles) really?? (Innocently) I wouldn't challenge you, I know better..
Chaos: I love me a good Sophia moment… Picture it… 28 year old baby mamma takes off to Rome on her first international solo experience.. leaving her daughter to the responsibility of the donor… she steps foot in the Eternal City with thoughts of vampires in her mind, curiosity in her blood and adventure in her spirit. Arriving at her hotel after navigating; plans, trains, anything mobile and people she collospes on the couch in the lobby and falls into a deep sleep. When she wakes, unsure of her surroundings then remembers where she is. Still in a sleepy haze she walks to the front desk to find her single room is ready. When she opens the door, single relates to tiny. Collapsing one last time, she wakes to shower and out she goes to take the Eternal City by the figurative balls.
Compass: That was good, I do always like your Sophia… The meeting spot only being around the corner we showed up and the bus was already there. It was a panoranic city bus tour by night with option dinner. Heather got on the bus with a few others, there was one other stop to pick up a few more passengers before getting the tour under way. There were not that many people and I remember it being a 40 passenger bus, which seemed odd to me at the time because of the amount of people… The second stop was made a few more got on, mostly couples…
Chaos: If I remember there were about 6 to 8 couples and 6 to 8, lets call us others… Transport was the only single, everyone else was traveling with friends of two or more to a group… [sarcasticly] Surprise Surprise, odd ball, lone wolf, poor solo girl, 5th wheel, black sheep.. We heard them all peoples.. Don’t give a fuck, call it what you want… I call it living my freedom…
Compass: Anyway on the bus there was two college male friends that got on at the second pick up. Even with a whole open bus they say 1 row behind Heather. Not sure of the reasoning behind it but…
Chaos: cause unmarried men like to be behind women for two reasons.. 1 to watch our ass as we walk… or 2. It's an intimidation thing. Hey they want to watch Transports AAA secretary spread at the time go for it!! Another reason to get out from the town job.. every time we have a desk job we get a spread… and I don't mean a charcuterie. The were in no way intimidating having already scanned them up and down as they got on the bus and walked down the aisle.
Compass; because you know who knows self defense just by looking at them
Chaos: No not by looking by watching. They way one moves, holds themselves, are they scanning the room, looking people in the eye… there is a certain way people that know how to defend themselves carry themselves. It's not a cocky swagger, it's not peacock stand tall… it's hard to explain.. it's a calm, low key confidence.
Compass: if you say so.. whatever your methods or gauge is … it's worked for 44 years.. Yes kin this bitch started her undercover antics at 2..
Chaos; Hey moms fault for leaving the champagne in the glass while I was running outside the hot tub.. while she and her friends we in it.
Compass: Yeah mom said you a mean drunk back then too.. but back to the bus. Not sure how a conversation started but one did.
Chaos: probably with the stand pick up line.. you here alone?
Compass: that was asked later in the night.. as the bus did its panoramic tour. Pro Vet: If you hear, see or book a tour that has panorama in the description. Understand that the main parts of the tour will be on the bus. There maybe a place or two where you get off for a moment for pics and a short walk but that is it. This was one of those tours. We saw the Vatican and the Popes light on in his papal apartment which from what we were told doesn't shit his own light off before he goes to bed.. someone else does as soon as he is in bed!
Chaos: fucking ridiculous.. His God gave him two feet and besides how does him not shitting off his own light put him in line with the rest of his flock.. oh it doesn't it puts him above them!!
Compass: Chaos, enough.. I know we have issues with the Vatican. Their thieves, liars, pedifiles, corrupted and have no clue how to tolerate anything they preach!!
Chaos; Ahhhh… are you yelling at me or now going off on your issues with the Vatican?
Compass: both if I have to honest. Let's get back to the memory or this could go bad real fast, and Heather is not tolerating shit today. On this night time tour of Rome we had the option to choose a dinner, so we did at the time of booking. However,
Chaos: reality was that we were having so much fun with our two new friends the that when it came time for the dinner and all the couple got off… I decided to stay on the bus instead. Which glad we did… we got to run around the Trevi fountain at night and have time to stop at a cafe and just enjoy it all light up and still mobbed with people but not as bad as the day time.
Compass: we head back to pick up the rest of the group from dinner and bring us back to our drop points.
Chaos: not us.. we jumped bus at the guys stop and head out to dinner .. our first meal ever in Italy… Chinese!! Best sweet and sour chicken I've had to this day!!
Compass: couldn't have been a Caprisi or a Bruschetta… hell I would have settled for pizza… but Chinese in Italy.. first time first meal…
Chaos: as you can hear Compass was not happy about it! But we were hungry… Transport again had forgotten to eat… Italian Chinese.. I guess hindsight we should have had lo mein. Anyway, after a marvelous Italian Chinese dinner Transport and our new friend explored Rome after dark on foot! There is something about Rome at night ..
Compass: The ruins all a glow, there is a silence that is not found during the day that descends over the crowds. There are always groups of tourists and locals but it feels more intimate. Everyone is just happy to sit in the shadows of the Colosseum.
Chaos: No, that is not it… for me it's the knowing that in ancient times this was the time to plot, to seduce and drink.. men and some woman would be in these very shadows plotting murder of a senator or husband or a lover.. watching for the Vigiles Urbani or what was know as a combo of fire and police at least after the great fire of Rome.
Compass: look at you giving history lessons.
Chaos: Fire, police, vigilantes and darkness… yeah those are my history lessons.
Compass: oh sister, where were we..
Chaos: we had the best Chinese and were now wandering the Eternal City at Night with two new found friends. We grabbed a coffee as we turned our backs to the Colosseum and began a slow walk of the Roman Form light up at night. I Do Love Italy
Compass: You love every country we go to…
Chaos: correct.. but each in a different way and for different reasons. Enjoying our stroll in the shadows of ancient Rome we didn't care about the time, or at least Transport and I didn't…
Compass: well I did, we had our first ever FAM as a travel agent and with our boss disliking us for who knows what… we needed to be up and at our FAM hotel outside the city of Rome by 5pm. It was time to head back to the hotel to call our baby girl..
Chaos: Here we go again… Alyssa…
Compass: She was 5 she was baby girl then.
Chaos: Fair..
Compass: Calling the stroll, our two guy friends walked us back to our hotel. But before leaving for the night we had made plans to actually go to the Vatican Museum..
Chaos: How the fuck we didn't bust into flames is beyond comprehension. But then again it is built over an older more sacred Pagan site… I mean truthfully our ancients were here first..
Compass: Oh no… we are not going down that path. We will tell the Vatican story but not now.
Heather: Hi Kin Heather here shutting this episode down for today. It was an unruly flying circus today… and you know what it is what it is. Now, it's my time .. Reflection. Here is what we hope you took away along with whatever you yourself got out of it.
1. The industry loves to push the "Sea View" or the "Premium Balcony" upgrade because it pads their bottom line. But you have to ask yourself the logical question: How long do you actually plan on sitting in that room staring at the water? If you are traveling with a circus of kids or running a packed itinerary, then a partial view balcony is your choice; because you need an operational decompression chamber to shut out the madness for two minutes before someone breaks a bed. Match your booking to your real-life sanity, not their polished marketing dreams.
2. When two strangers sit right behind you on a completely wide-open, empty 40-passenger bus, your internal radar should flash red. Don't worry about being "polite" or looking like a snob. Scan the room. Watch how people carry themselves. Real confidence and capability aren't shown through a loud swagger; it's a calm, low-key presence. If your gut tells you a dynamic is weird, acknowledge it, adapt, and lock down your perimeter.
3. There is a massive difference between Trust and Loyalty. Corporate travel providers throw the word "loyalty" around to trap you in a system that shifts its fees like a shell game—like the airlines moving fuel surcharges into permanent luggage fees so they never have to lower them. Don't give any brand your blind faith, and don't be a sheep for the industry. Trust is earned through total transparency, and you should fact-check everything.
4. When you touch down from an 8-hour international flight, the couch in the hotel lobby is a psychological trap. If you sit down "just to read" or "relax for twenty minutes," your brain will hijack your timeline and drop you into a dead sleep until dark, completely killing day one of your adventure. Knock back an espresso standing up at a bar, hydrate, walk the block to lock in your visual neighborhood anchors, and force your body to adapt to the local dirt.
5. If you approach travel with a rigid, curated checklist of what you're supposed to experience—like demanding your first meal in Rome be an authentic, artisanal pizza—you completely miss the human magic of the mess. Sometimes you are starving, exhausted, and the universe drops a random Chinese restaurant in front of you. Ditch the snobbery, eat the sweet and sour chicken on Italian soil, and use that flexibility to run around a night-lit Trevi Fountain while the rest of the herd is trapped inside a scripted, mediocre tour dinner.
6. Whether it's telling a strategic lie to snag three extra days of solo freedom in Rome, escaping a stagnant relationship, or locking your grandfather in a hot metal shed on a childhood dare—your choices belong entirely to you. The logical side of your brain might spend decades analyzing and questioning the logistics of the past, but the adventurous side knows the truth: If you hadn't made those exact choices, you wouldn't be standing exactly where you are right now. Own your messy history. It's the only classroom you never graduate from.
I am going to hand this back over to the voices… till next week. No more time off for a bit.. back to paying so we can play.
COMPASS (calm, professional tone) On that note… we hope you enjoyed this episode of CompassChaos13. Join us every Sunday at 1 p.m. Eastern, or 1300 hours for our fellow travelers in time zones unknown. Next stop: London — this time, we will be adventuring SOLO, and you can bet we’ll be forging even more unforgettable connections.
CHAOS (excited, playful) Oh, it’s another great one! We will be spilling how we got hubby to see that we require this— and somehow, we still make it out alive. But hey, the chaos? Always memorable.
COMPASS (mock patience) Listeners, help me out here — please engage with us. Share your travel tales, lessons, and even your “what-was-I-thinking” moments. Tell us where you found connection through chaos — or where you just found chaos. We can help you find the humor….
CHAOS (interrupting, smirking) Or let me make it worse! I can make it worse… please…
COMPASS (cutting in, mock sigh) No… just stop. The show’s over. Head down on the desk until next time. I’m Compass — bringing the planned direction.
CHAOS (proudly) And I’m Chaos — bringing the unexpected!
COMPASS & CHAOS (in sync) Together, we make global connections.
HEATHER (narrator / flight attendant tone) Welcome back to the present. On behalf of your dueling hosts, Compass and Chaos, thank you for adventuring with CompassChaos13.
Before you stand, please make sure your pants are dry, your eyes are clear, and your snots are wiped — we don’t do refunds for emotional turbulence.
Some of what you heard today may sound unbelievable, but rest assured — it’s all true, and no one on this adventure is innocent.
For photos, travel tips and to read our blogs wander over towww.CompassChaos13.com. Follow the journey on your favorite podcast platform, and share your story with us using #CompassChaos13 — because the world’s full of chaos, and we’d rather laugh through it together.
Thank you for connecting with us today. We hope your layover in our world brought a little curiosity, a bit of laughter, and a lot of connection. You ARE TRULY APPRECIATED
This is CompassChaos13 — signing off.