London, England: Solo Travel Is the Best Investment
This is CompassChaos13: A Real Travel Podcast where Compass Plans, Chaos Rules - Connections Happen Memories of Global Adventures
HEATHER (V.O.): I’m Heather, your adventure narrator and warm body for the hosts for this flying circus. Today, we’re adventuring in London England
COMPASS: It started with the unrelinquishing desire to regain our peace and self.
CHAOS: It ended with us sitting in Central Park Hotel just near Kensington Park in London England.
HEATHER (V.O.): Before we depart on this adventure, a few safety checks. First: any brand we mention is one we actually use and trust. We get zero monetary gain for these—if that ever changes, we promise total transparency. Second: this flight is for adults only. Expect questionable language, emotional turbulence and not so subtle adult references of many kinds. Finally, there are no warnings when the unexpected happens, because there are no warnings in real life… Now, let’s Meet your dueling hosts: Compass, the one who plans—and Chaos, the one who burns them. Together, they find the magic in the mess.
COMPASS (V.O.): I’m Compass. My plan is to experience the top tourist things. But, as usual, my head-space companion Chaos has other plans.
CHAOS: Hey Hey Chaos here! I am the patron saint of "we’ll figure it out,". I bring the unexpected, and the reason you want to hear travel tales.. that are actually worth listening to! And this one I promise is worth a listen.
COMPASS (V.O.): Together, we bring the connection.
HEATHER (V.O.): Sit back, relax, and push that share button because we all have unexpected adventures when traveling.
Compass: I can’t believe this happened… I can't believe we actually did this….. I can’t believe you pushed purchase!!
Chaos: Hey the sacred words were said, and once they are out, there is no backizes… Compass is flipping out because we are currently in our hotel room, having landed in London at 7am and hit the British museum upon landing!! Yeap I said it… and did it! No hubby, no Alyssa, no mommy, no friends…. 100% competently unsupervised!! In a city that has existed since the Romans but has been continuously inhabited for 13 millenniums…. Longer if we count the sporadic back and forth during the glacial periods of history.
Compass: [annoyed[ You act as if we haven’t done this before!
Chaos: 2 pre nights in Rome before joining our first FAM which was with AAA but the AAA Vacations was a Collette Vacation just marketed as an AAA/Collette partnership back in 2008. It is just all marketing to make you all feel special, just like your mom used to or still does.
Compass: Mom told us we were special all the time….
Chaos: Oh Compass you can’t be serious right now. She didn’t mean in the way you wanted it to mean, nor in the way I had Transport believe it…..
Compass: I know that, but if you can beat them…..
Chaos: Whatever you need to do to get you through… but back to your statement, 2 pre nights in Rome before meeting an agent tour does not count. I require a bite now, not just bearing my teeth. Back then we just turned 26 or 27. I don’t care how old we are...and many trips to Europe. Now we have more skills, more experience and pre-menopause going for us. 5 Full days in London leaving on Mother’s Day should do the trick.
Compass: HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY I know it's a few weeks behind.. And sorry about not dropping for two weeks..
Chaos: It was mother’s day, we took off… literally took off from everything. Podcast as well.
Compass: There was also another reason, PRO VET TIP: Personal and Property security depend on secrecy. Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, all that social media bullshit is your worst nightmare. We never post when we are going, when we are returning or even all the places we are going until 24 hours after, if we post. Why… think about it…1. people know where you are, you are not home easy pickings, thanks for the all the time in the world and all the new crap… 2. Anyone that wants to find you to harm you or follow you; you just gave them coordinates to your location. Basically saying Here I am come get me, I’M WAITING!!! That is our standard operating procedure for when we travel. For our Solo Global Kin, this is very important for your safety. NEVER POST WHERE YOU ARE GOING, WHEN YOU ARE THERE or WHAT YOU ARE PLANNING TO DO…. You are giving anyone a basic blueprint to find you. Please if you can’t fight the media driven urge to post something wait 24 to 48 hours after you have left the area. If you are staying in one area, we highly recommend waiting till you get back home to unleash your adventures.
Chaos: That was long winded… let me tighten it up and make so that the youngin’s can understand…. DON’T POST YOUR SHIT UNTIL YOU ARE WELL AWAY FROM WHAT YOU ARE DOING…. Unless of course you want to the sex trafficed person, a rape statistic, a homicide statistic.Even for private to a few personal posts just remember things always get out. And Happy Mother’s Day to the good mothers only though (happy mommy’s day mommy)…. There are some really fucking shitty mothers out there that I should be allowed to take charge of for the rest of their lives paid for by the prisons. For those fucking shitty mothers out there I hope you get the day you truely deserve!!
Compass: I can’t argue with that…. However, back to an almost one month old memory. I still can’t believe you pushed us into this.
Chaos: Just stop, There is no us…. Just you… Transport’s always ready to go as long as the bills are paid. Look I understand that since premenoapuase set in you are slipping deeper and deeper into anxiety ridden thoughts… but now your starting to make Transport’s heart race for no fucking reason. Stop sending signals that we are under attack, that is my job.
Compass: This is your fault…
Chaos: Doubtful but go ahead make your point to our kin, this outta be good! Ready for this Kin…. I would love to see some comments if they agree with me or with you on this… no matter who they back, it was required.
Compass: I really don’t want to tell specifics about what brought us to this point but I am willing to give insight.
Chaos: You mean a mainstream dumb down one size fits all insight?? Don’t fucking PBS me, what did you agree to in the 1st Boardroom Episode…. Loosen up or I am going to get the minutes you filed and read them back to you word for word!!
Compass: I hate you sooo much…..
Chaos: only cause I won’t let you get away with trying to agent me. Our Kin is not generic, public or general in any way….. Bad Compass, Bad Bad Bad Compass!!
Compass: Point… you were right to call my PBS sorry Kin. I do agree with hubby NOT EVERYTHING needs to be a broadcasted memory.
Chaos: We are still negotiating that part of the full contract with hubby on the podcast. Right now we are going to help our fellow mommas out. This is our 1st Mother’s Day to you Global Kin and we want to make it very special for you!! We know what you're going through, what you feel .. even if your kids are in their 20s and not at home… there is still everything else going on. So grab a drink, a pen/notebook or pull up your google drive…. What we are spilling on this episode is going to be worth the carpal tunnel.
Compass: I can’t argue with Chaos again … What the hell today, why are you being logical and sensically today!! Chaos will tell you how she actually lived up to her promise in the boardroom audit, striking so preciously that a fight couldn’t have started.
Chaos: Must be the jet fuel fumes. I actually can’t take all the credit, as much as I would love too… without Compass’ holding receipts and aces in places well, just let your imagination run wild.. It would have probably been not a conversation but a full on of Battle of Anticum with hubby about travelling alone.
Compass: Since Chaos is keeping me honest…. Though I don’t believe under the threat of bodily harm counts but when you wake up tied to your bed.
Chaos: [laughing] There is a whole fettish around that you know…. But that is not where this is going sadly…. Though great topic for discussion…
Compass: Not with our kin it’s not….I think that would be one of the discussions that hubby was talking about..
Chaos: He hasn’t tied Transport, though that might be conversation…
Compass: [loud] BACK TO THE MEMORY….
Chaos: [disappointed] Fine …. No fun… How to tell your significant Hasta Manhana without burning the relationship.
Compass: He is not the reason that for a brief moment required mental peace in another country.
Chaos: No He is absolutely not the reason…. That doesn’t mean that the hubby’s of our kin won't be the reason they use our process, mindset and techniques.
Compass: If you can’t tell already, this is a different kind of travel memory. While it is not currently focused on a place, it is going to be focusing on how to know when you need mental peace, find your self and still make sure that your other understands it is not them, but the unspoken responsibility that comes with the relationship.
Chaos: Everyone needs to re-find themselves at some point. Jobs, domestic duties, marriage duties, financial duties…. All that crap that makes you an adult…. Yeah that will kill your spirit faster than you can do it with nicotine or alcohol.
Compass: Yes especially if you have a roommate that makes your life completely unpredictable and always in fight mode. I am sure our Global Kin is wanting to know how things went over with work, hubby, Alyssa, Cleo and the rest of my fellow travel companions. Which we are going to tell them.
Chaos: This will be a very short memory then…. It will make up for the very long one last week. Over an hour, wow…. Never seems that long when you're having fun!
Compass: Very memory of yours is short…..
Chaos: Pulling punches first today….. Interesting. So I hope you or anyone else doesn’t expect me to wear your shoes….. You have tiny feet…. Probably because you’re always sitting to write or type, at our 40 to schedule inspections, initial permit reviews, all that wonderful jazz… I am very surprised we have not got our third secretary spread…. I am what’s a third… we already got rid of two…
Compass: Are you saying I have a wide ass…
Chaos: For a white broad yeah …. But it’s not what would be considered juicy to some standards…
Compass: I’m not even touching that..
Chaos: That’s what I heard him say!!
Compass: I hate you so much… Moving on to the memory. As Heather was mentally spinning out of control. Our 40 hour a week, we are technically the building clerk but we actually run support, interference and go-for for the Planning and Zoning departments on top of being the recording secretary for both boards since 2024. Plus the usual everyday domestic duties of figuring out dinner, then cooking dinner, in between making sure Cleo gets her 1 hour of playtime as soon as we get home. On top of now adding a podcast to the mix. Which comes with actual writing before recording.
Chaos: I keep telling you we should just hit record and see what happens…
Compass: Yeah, about that…. NO! You couldn’t get through the Rome 2 day solo memory, which we have to start again. Don’t get me started… Anyway, this all started about mid Feb. We knew we had a family long weekend at Universal coming up and figured it would be long enough to have Heather get herself right again. She has been…
Chaos: Mental is a good word to use…. Her fuse is short as hell, Transport has a short fuse to begin with..
Heather: Excuse me? I have short fuses….. Not the voice that snaps every two seconds because I see something stupid going…. And not the other voice that snaps at work every 5 minutes because people are too lazy to read and want us to do the work for them so if anything goes south I get held accountable. Yeah, I have a short fuse because of either you two or pre-menopause. You are correct CHaos, my fuse has always been short, but since I unleashed you two it has become even shorter.
Compass: I don’t snap…. I bluntly and affirmatively tell them where to go to fill out a permit, where to find the answers and what law to references, BUT I WILL NOT DO someone’s work especially since they aren’t the ones signing the check we get every two weeks.
Chaos: Guess what we pay taxes too… so no I don’t pay any person to take my shit. If I did they would be called a personal assistant. Transport says we do for ourselves and Compass well she just won’t give me the account numbers.
Heather: Okay side tracked already… So yes I was having a mental breakdown that people only guessed at. It was silent, it was building and it was going to explode, which is never a good thing. Let’s get through this one please, I have a feeling this will be a big help to anyone that needs to just remember what it is like to be just you for more than just a 2 days.
Compass: I will try… So with stress mounting the family long weekend had come….
Chaos: Which we will get too.. Hey I said I wasn’t going to play your part….
Compass: [giggles] You step in when you're needed.. Thanks. And Easter came, the long family weekend had come and gone with it. Which kept the stress at bay, but not tone it down. The whole of us was starting to fracture. Chaos had been looking at places that she wanted to see and check the prices, untold to anyone.
Chaos: I needed to be FREE! No accountability, responsibility, adulting, domestic duties or any such thing…. I required severing temporary ties to our reality. Anyone that has a 40 hour job, starting a business, family and pets…. You know what I speak of… it is true. Try to remember who you were before all the bullshit, that is where I was required to be. Even if it is just probation.
Compass: Adulting does feel like a prison, I will give you that. While the thought, the passion and drive for Freedom was surging through Heather due to Chaos, I was the one trying to keep this flight grounded until at least we had a discussion with Ryan, our ride and die… remember him Chaos?
Chaos: Of course I do, don’t be a jackass…. You just wanted validation to go from hubby. I don’t know why? Yes he is our husband, yes we said till death natural or otherwise but that does not mean that he owns our life, nor do we own his. He knows this and it is time you Compass learned it.
Compass: I don’t need his validation…. I wanted his understanding without having to fight for it. Had we done it your way we would probably be coming home to changed locks and our shit on the lawn.
Chaos: Well, there is bound to be a first for us….. Though we are usually the one throwing shit on the front lawn…. The things we learned from mom…
Compass: Yeah and Dad taught you how to throw shit and how to utilize your anger in a nonverbal point.
Chaos: That was a nice way of saying daddy taught us how to swing. Kickboxing just refined it. Well that is what I got from it … I don't know what you got from it. Oh wait yes I do…. Try not to make too many waves, only fight when it is a last resort in order to keep peace at the cost of our own. Yeah, I didn't like then and now that Transport is over 18 that ain’t gonna happen anymore. Tired of making peace with others at the cost of our own.
Compass: I do it everyday between you and Heather. So with this idea now setting and work just getting busier and busier… Thank the Goddess we do have a woman in the office named Kristen and she helps so much even though it is not in her job or the union may get pissed if they found out since everyone has one job description and there should be no crossing the lines unless stated in the job description and negotiated with the Town Council under contract negotiations time. I was having a harder and harder time settling this thought down.
Chaos: What really pushed Compass over the edge was that we had a week of vacation time to use still and we had missed the deadline to roll it over or pay it out. So with the logic of use it or lose it…. Well Compass wasn’t going to let free money without work just be thrown away…
Compass: You are right I won’t….. However, we have two months to use 1 week… we could have done a few days here… a few there…. Or had a staycation.
Chaos: FUCKING PBS!!! THAT IS NOT A WORD… staycation.. That is made by someone that thinks staying at home to do domestic duties, honeydue lists, home projects, and any other bullshit that comes with the normal everydays of home. How is that mental fucking peace. Let’s think about this for a moment.. You take off work for a week to stay home… work for us is 7 miles away.. Even though it was an hour away.. It is easy to get to if shit hits the fan or you're pondering by Wed how much shit is piling up and what you are going to walk into… so far not mental peace…. On top of that, by wed we are bored and we start spending money on foolish things that bring no connections. Such as pretty flowers that only live for the summer. So if we are going to spend money foolishly anyway, why not in another country where new experiences and connections are guaranteed. It just makes mental sense.
Compass: Most of her logic I couldn’t argue with. The only point I could make was that we would spend more money doing this than on a staycation. A few hundred vs 1600 for hotel and flights for 5 days and then another 500 hundred or so between food and attractions.
Chaos: Oh please… 1. We don’t eat… dinner yes but lunch and breakfast if we remember or our stomach tells us that it is now going to start eating itself and give Transport an ulcer. Which surprisingly she has not got yet…. Knock on her head.. 2. We always make sure breakfast is included with room, no more than a 3 day cancellation policy at worst. 3. Most of the places we are doing are free, except Tower of London & Windsor Castle, The major castles and such have an admission, the average is about 20 to 40 range depending on the popularity of the attraction. Tower of London & Windsor Castle was about 40 something usd… 4. Mental peace should be the most precious thing to a person, even a mother. If you are not in your right mental state as a mom, there is residual that your child picks up on no matter how hard you try to hide. In essence you are teaching your child that everyone else's peace is more important than their own while also unknowingly showing them how to put their own mental peace aside….. Remember we did that when Alyssa was little, then I said enough was enough and didn’t want Alyssa to learn that . keeping the peace at your own mental expanse is not peace. And lastly 5. You saved money for the Universal vacation which ended up being cheaper than expected so….
Compass: Yes I do…. And with those points you made I really couldn’t argue. So Heather was now in and I had no good arguments left except that we could keep our savings and build it for Scotland with Ryan, our mom by marriage and love. I hate the word mother in law and our hubby’s older brother. But that was not going to go over well so I kept it to myself.
Chaos: Scary when I use logic and reasoning isn’t….. Not so much fun when it’s direct at you.
Compass: I’m proud you used it regardless of who it was used on. So with nothing left to argue I had not choice but to agree.
Chaos: This was also a test of your own concessions made in the Boardroom…. Remember losing the purse strings and pulling the stick down a bit.
Compass: I do yes… Thank you. But now it was time to have the discussion with Ryan about our idea.
Chaos: You mean plan….
Compass: I mean at that point it was still an idea, cause if he had better logic than yours then the outcome may have been different.
Chaos: Yeah I was ready for hubby to try to take this from me and Transport.
Compass: You were gearing up .. but while you were doing recon I was having to initiate the conversation about needing to get away. However, I wasn’t so gungho about taking off leaving hubby and nor about putting Cleo in the dog care if he came, even though she loves sleeping over and seeing her friends.
Chaos: Well going solo was not necessarily set in stone…. It was more of if hubby can go with us somewhere great, if not …. Sorry my love, we’ll miss you and see you on flip.
Compass: Yeah well that is why I do most of the talking with hubby. When you talk to hubby it usually ends up with all parties getting pissy because even though what you said was true, as always it is in your tone and delivery.
Chaos: Work in progress….. [laughing]..... If you believe that kin I have the longest bridge in the world to sell to you… it spans from the United States to Portugal. We call it the braga bridge. Anyone interested send us an email heather@compasschaos13.com The bidding will start at 1 billion dollars..[lauging]
Compass: What the hell is the matter with you. Don’t answer that. So it was now all about timing when talking to Ryan or any man for that matter.
Chaos: Yeah best time is after when their bellies are full and their balls are emptied.
Compass: I… I…. oh boy, we are going to be in so much trouble when Ryan actually catches up on the episodes.
Chaos: Really….. When we started this whole thing we had no expectation of anyone including hubby to actually want to listen to our crazy travel memories especially since the last 5 to 6 years he has been a part of those memories. I still have no expectations… Remember Expectations only bring disappointment.
Compass: Stop channeling Dad, leave the man in peace.
Chaos: Assuming he has peace….. With all his relatives where he is and all those Portuguese relatives…. It's a God damn holy ghost festival he has no peace..[laughing] … Thus the reason we are pagans….. Burn our body and scatter our ashes to the winds so that our spirit is free to wander and our ashes forever be driven by the directional winds.
Compass: So it be… Let’s refocus shall we. The timing had to be correct for this not to turn into a fight, wondering if it was him or anything else that could possibly go sideways…
Chaos: {laughing] always the prepper…. Only Compass had aces that she was hiding and not using. But we aren’t there yet…. So round 1 of hubby talks begins….
Compass: She is not lying…. I go in rounds…. Like a well orchestrated boxing match.
Chaos: Ahhh….. Boxing isn't orchestrated, there is no conductor…. There are two people battling it out till there is only 1 standing….
Compass: I’m not talking about the actual boxing match….. That is your wheelhouse… I am talking about everything that is done behind the scenes… finding the fighters, negotiating terms of the fight, negotiating the venue, the advertisers, hotels, transportation, preferred partnership rates for spectators, the media coverage, the vendors, the swag… everything but the fight itself. So this was a sparing match to gauge the intensity of the fight.
Chaos: Compass has Heather tell hubby after dinner about 4 weeks Mid April that she still has a week of vacation time to use or lose and that she needs another vacation because the long weekend 2 weeks prior was just not enough and she needs to get out of the country. If you haven’t noticed, we have very different methods of approach… I would have had Transport say I’m taking a vacation. You are always more than welcome to come, but we are going. My method however, most of the time is used as a last resort by Transport. Unless all three of us are united no matter what, only then does Transport start with that, like in Philea… we were swimming in the Nile with or without guide approval, we would have found locals that were swimming somewhere below the high dam.
Compass: Correct… with round 1 now engaged Ryan was just like …Solo, oh boy.. Depends on where….
Chaos: He didn’t just say DEPENDS to us…. Wherever the fuck I want to fucking go, you may own the ring that you paid for but you don’t own the fucking person that wears that it…. But I was not allowed to remind him of that because that apparently would have made a bigger issue. So instead Transport, looks him in the eye and says London.
Compass: Ryan’s look was of relief and his words said the same…. Oh I thought you wanted to go somewhere crazy knowing you….
Chaos: He wasn’t wrong we do want to go crazy places… I would love to go to Iran, the cradle of civilization, Mesopatania!!! Come on, really what human would not like to walk in the footsteps of all our ancestors?? That’s like saying I don’t care about who conceived us, bore us and raised us…. Now if I could just convince Iran that they would make more money off western tourists then fighting with us I think we may have something….
Compass: You are delusional… but I still want to see Iran. The ruins they have, top is Ishtar Gate which was part of Babylonian wall. It is one of 8 major gates into the ancient city… The Greek historian Herodotus wrote it had 100 gates made of brass on the banks of the Euphrates River bank that ran through the middle of the city..
Chaos: are we doing a history lesson on Babylon or talking about how we made it to London solo?
Compass: Sorry This is a Life Adventure Goal which as soon as our governments can quit acting children fighting over toy trucks or high heeled shoes..
Chaos: I know that was a swipe at me. I own it, I was an unruly ass and still am. So I guess I would be Iran, tell me I can’t…. You’ll see me do….
Compass: This is not a toy truck they are fighting over, its over nuclear warheads…
Chaos: Bullshit…. Would it really make any more of a threat for them to have them… Let’s look at this for a moment…. They have nucks, we have nucks, Eu has nuks, China has Nuks, India has Nuks, Russia has nuks….. 1. What's one more to the list… 2. If you think anyone is actually stupid enough to use a nuk then we are all brain washed. One country launches nuk the other does… then more… Then those that wanted to rule the world, once the ash falls, radiation settles and whomever remains emerges if anyone, what then… What is left? Can’t eat or drink anything, it’s all poisoned, more than likely the remaining people have some sort of radiation poisoning that will kill them if starvation and dehydration doesn’t do it first… So congratulations assholes, there is nothing left to rule, no one to rule over….. It is just a murder/suicdie on a global scale. Those that want to rule the world, keep power or grow power will not use a nuk, there is no logic behind it.
Compass: Whoa, let’s bring this back… that is a power statement that I don’t think anyone is willing to place a bet on other then you. Back to the memory…. Ryan’s mind was soothed by London but asked why alone. To which we replied from what I gathered your time off is already accounted for this year and decided on London because that was a place that you said you had no interest in, and if we are going solo I want to go somewhere you have no interest in experiencing…
Chaos: There was a bit of back and forth about how it is not that he didn’t want to see London, he just didn’t want to stay in London for a whole week….
Compass: Yeah… he may not want to stay a week, but the British Museum alone will take a day for us, the Tower will be a half day and then there are the Roman Ruins, trying to find links to Boudica and her pillages, not just of Londonumium. Then there are other museums with Egyptian artifacts that we want to see…. With all this round one was left just like that…
Chaos: Then about 10 days later Compass goes in for round two… this time timing is when hubby is chatty and not stressed from his own 40 while having a discussion about what is for diner and who is in the mood to cook it.
Compass: Well that week was a rough week at work…
Chaos: I don’t know why you fight with attorneys….
Compass: So when we said that week was very rough for me and Heather as well. Round 2 was a necessity… After discussing dinner options he was going to cook so I could work on getting episodes ready for Sunday drops…. Ryan asked how Heather’s day was….
Chaos: Well this happened to the day that Compass had her go at the old prosecutor in the office…. Which was a sight. He was getting so upset because as he talked in circles throwing stuff at a wall talking about three different things… Compass was keeping up and throwing the same shit back at him, he got so pissed and said … talking to you is like talking in circles… to my complete shock … she has Transport say I know cause I am keeping up with your conversation that you are trying to blend three different things into one grand overall view and it doesn’t work so he needs to go argue that with the new town solicitor and when I get it in writing from him, he will get his permit, until that time, his permit stays right where it is on hold. Only other option is to go get your contractor’s license so you can work on the property that is in a TRUST, not a person irrelevant if it is Revocable, Non-Revocable and the one issue is that the TRUST that is on public record has NO NAMED TRUSTEES… So fuck no as it is, the permit does not get issued….… he doesn’t like it he knows what to do as an attorney…. that is when the Building official and the Zoning Official stepped in and told Compass to go for a walk…. 20 minutes later when we came back he was still trying to convince the building official to issue the permit….. That didn’t work out so well for the old prosector. I wonder if now that we are out this week if it will get issued….
Compass: Not a chance unless we have it in writing from the New town solicitor… which will have its own issues and the town was put on notice back in Feb. that this was going to be a huge issue soon.. But anyway no more work talk, that was just a sample of that full week… So after telling hubby, I reiterated with more stress that mental peace was becoming a necessity. He understood and apologized that we had such a shitty week. But then he went into, didn’t we just come back from vacation and besides we have Scotland with mom sometime in the fall, and we have our last vacation we are still paying off….. True, but I am not sure if I can mentally make it that long without flipping out on someone Heather tells him. To which he replies let’s pay off some of the other vacation we just got back from before we go and do another before Scotland, besides I am not sure how much time I have left after what I will be using for Scotland, what I just used for Universal and with the music festival weekends in the summer where we are going up early to set up camp.
Chaos: How does Compass have Transport reply you ask….. Yeah…. You're right we should…. THE FUCK IT IS….. We weren’t asking him to pay for it, we weren’t asking for permission, we weren't asking for anything ... .I already wanted to burn something because of the day's events.. I am the one that fights with Compass, no one but me attacks Compass… I thought we were putting him on notice, to decide either to come or stay, those are your choices… But Compass playing her rounds, allowed the points to go to him for round 2
Compass: I still have the bite marks from you for giving him round 2… he made valid points he earned the round. Give credit where it is due Chaos.
Chaos: You didn’t even attempt to push back and bring up any of my points..
Compass: Timing my dear Chaos…. This one went to hubby…. As we waited for the next time for round 3 I watched as prices to the places we wanted to go London or Tallinn Estonia went up….
Chaos: While Compass was trying to time the final round correctly….. Hubby beat her to the punch… About 4 days later hubby who had seemed to be really pondering how to approach the subject of his wife traveling solo to a major global city was not sitting well with him as a husband. He didn’t think we noticed, trust we did…. After 13 years if I can’t read our hubby’s energy then we shouldn’t have said we do. Ding Ding Ding…. Let the final round begin….
Compass: Not a boxing match…
Chaos: Oh but it was …. You were in the thick of it even though you and hubby kept normal tones, volumes and words…. The energy was combustible. Once you got over the initial shock of him bringing it up first.
Compass: Hindsight which is why we do these memories after we have had time to process them, I understand why he did bring it up first. Because work has brought us to almost our breaking point, but I refuse to leave until I have our 401a 9% match fully vested, which is soon, I have been working on some things to hopefully get us into a less stressful atmosphere. Which means that we have not been giving hubby the attention that he has grown accustomed to.
Chaos: Hey that’s life…. I mean hell it’s not like Transports an affectionate person to begin with so just a little goes a long way…
Compass: Yes well I am working on that… and he could say the same as well. So be careful, Chaos.
Chaos: Hey that is what you said to hubby in this final round…..
Compass: And where are we?
Chaos: In a hotel just down a side road from Kensington Park in London and a 5 minute walk to Queensway Station and Bayswater.
Compass: Exactly…. So as Chaos said Ryan beat me to the verbal punch so speak. The way he started and with Chaos reading his energy Heather knew round 2 had been on his mind for the last few days. He asked Heather.. Why solo…. To which she replied because my calculations you have no time or only a day or two.. But there was something in how he asked, that Chaos felt but I felt the need to answer it verbally… she continued to tell him that it wasn’t that she didn’t want him to go, she would love to have her ride and die by her side and that she hoped that he didn’t think it was. Heather explained that work was getting to her which he agreed and his advice was to not let it bother her….
Chaos: Yeah… I just gave him the … your not fool so stop acting like one look…
Compass: He said it was easier said then done…. And that he also had to remind himself of that as well…
Chaos: That told me something in his head triggered that he thought he was the reason and we needed to escape him…. Total transparency yes some it was about 30%, not hubby physically…. But the whole hubby thing.. You know marriage thing, where your expected to become one person from two and relinquish parts of yourself you have had for longer than you have known your partner…. Well, in our oath we didn’t do vows we swore an oath to each other that we would still be our own individual persons, I wrote that intentionally… Neither one of us should have to give up any part of us for the other…. we would verbalize our issues and other things but those are the two that matter in this instance.
Compass: Which we, believe it or not Chaos actually helped not hindered, reiterated that it was this was coming from work not because of him….
Chaos: He agreed that time off from work was a necessity since he could see Transport stressing out, though I don’t think he actually understands the levels Transport is at because I only have her release her frustration in the shower…. For those that know, know….
Compass: Oh for Goddess’s stop trying to be such a hard ass….. Chaos letting loose in the shower… is her having a good heartfelt slide down the shower wall… curl up into a ball on the floor of tub with the shower on full hot blast….. She makes Heather look like melting candle wax if you want a visual…
Chaos: You’re an asshole…. People don’t need to know I have any other emotions beside happy or pissed…. That is my spectrum let’s keep it that way…
Compass: too late.. It’s out there now… With Ryan feeling better that it was not because of him…. He agreed that Heather needed time off from work, so he suggested a staycation….
Chaos: Well if you don’t remember from about 20 minutes ago why staycations are fucking stupid, I suggest you keep hitting that 5 sec back button until you find the reason…
Compass: Really, why are you being rude to the listeners…
Chaos: That is not rude that is honesty… do you want to repeat yourself, besides didn’t Transport say to grab a pen and a notebook…. What that was just to waste our breath. My breath is precious I’m not wasting on people that are not paying attention to import information.
Compass: True but for keeping with the timeline of the memory and because we feel it's important mental health we will be repeating ourselves. As much as Chaos was mentally flipping out screaming.. Heather remained calm and steadfast. She advised him that being 10 mins away from work is not mental peace. She would be thinking the whole time about work, how stupid it was to take a full week off with work 10 mins away, still reachable and we can pop in at anytime to make sure all is good.
Chaos: not to mention all the money I would spend anyway since I'd be bored. And I'm not doing domestic duties or honeydue lists on a fucking vacation… that's not a vacation that is just not going to work.
Compass: all valid points which Ryan also understood… but he had one last point to make
Chaos: This is the point I knew he was going to try to ace Transport…. I had been waiting.. I ransacked Compass’s receipt vault for what I needed… I had it I was ready ..
Compass: That you were but Heather was still in full control of both of us. Well, mostly…
Chaos: (giggles) He was minding his words very carefully I could feel him thinking about each word before it was coming. When hubby found his words… (giggles) it was something along the lines of well the bills have to be paid… and that is when Transport though calm and cool as a cucumber allowed Compass and I to speak as one. Compass thought only one world was appropriate and I agreed since he is our ride and die we should fire a warning shot. The only word that came out was Becareful…
Compass: yeah that put him back for about 2.5 secs… I could see it in his eyes… and then he continues with the bills need to be paid, not just the joint but your separate ones, money was just spent on vacation and that Heather should been racking up her credit card.
Compass: This is where I really found my Chaos… how Heather was able to keep our tempers, Chaos and mine under control was nothing less than magic.
Chaos: oh I love it when Transport channels both of us as a collective. With Compass' normal tone, posture, and words combined with my tactical precision what came out was even unfeeling tone even though inside we were flipping the fuck out, both Compass and I.
Compass: we replied that I told you to be careful for a reason… let's me ask you this .. when you bought either of your trucks did you ask me? No you can home and said I bought a truck… not once but twice. Did we ask if you personal bills were paid, did we say only if the joint bills are paid… no we said it's YOUR Money you work had for it. If it makes you happy okay. On top of that I have never not once paid the joint bills, ally credit cards are paid off and last I have money that saved for Universal that I didn't use… so yeah I'm good. I do however require the same respect and courtesy that I have shown you when you have spent your own money in whatever your heart desires.
Chaos: Transport actually had to take a paused because she was holding my rage and Compass rage…along with a deep breath before she continued… we don't like not being shown the same respect we give.. Big torpedo up our ass! How Transport managed to control the shaking, our screaming and a beautifully constructed phrases of some of our favorite words together..
Compass: there were many f bombs being dropped in Heather's head, many flashing visions of making.. till death.. become a reality, but she held it in. She was shaking but she held it.
Chaos: Transport for whatever reason felt the need to explain why she was pausing… advising that Compass and I are screaming and continuing to advise that she wasn't sure if she was projecting or not. So Transport explained that what he just did is what our parents used to do… control us, by any means necessary.
Compass: Heather had one question for him… she asked do you remember what I said when you came home not once but twice saying you bought a truck and both are sitting in our driveway? He said no…. She reminded him…
Chaos: oh and I quote “I told you it's your money you spend it how you want”... Have I yet to ask you if the joint bills are paid, have I yet asked you if you could afford both trucks… did I tell you I don't want to see you get in overhead on debt…. no! That is not showing me the same respect I show you. I respect and trust that your half of the joint bills are paid, I respect and trust that you know what your doing with your own hard earned money after the bills are paid .. I'm not getting that from you. I'm getting a farther figure that doesn't want me to go because he doesn't want me to. My father is dead and I didn't listen to him when he was on this your not any different.
Chaos: and that folks was Compass’s aces… two trucks, respect and trust or lack thereof. How Transport didn't backhand him was self control.. trust I was trying… fucking disrespect me and fucking trust me after all these fucking years… whapp whapp whapp…
Compass: ok, easy… it's fine. He understood after Heather got done. He didn't see it like that.
Chaos: I still question that because if we pulled something like on him … bet he would have tone, attitude and chip on his shoulder for two weeks us the brush off thinking that actually bothers us anytime he does it.
Compass: You are correct silent treatments, brushoffs, cold unfeeling stares, one word short answers don't work on us with one… we have been through that training camp and came out teaching the class.
Chaos: So amazingly no fights, no tones, raised voices or attitudes… I prepped for war… I don't even get a squirt gun fight… I feel it was anticlimactic…
Compass: we couldn't have asked for it to go better. Cause he understood the reason why we required, no needed this.. and that last words he said on the subject was; I understand better now baby, thank you. Let me know when you book it.
Chaos: That is what Transport and Compass needed to hear…. So later that night…. I hit the purchase button for British Airways Non Stop Boston to London Heathrow for Mother’s Day… Happy Mother’s and Hasta Luego to.. US!!
Compass: Ryan was wonderful about the whole thing. He dropped us at the airport and off we went.
Chaos: We spent the time writing most of the episode on the plane but as soon as we landed….. Da Da Here I come to save the day…. Laptop away it was time to explore! Navigating our way from the airport to Paddington Station via the Express, super fucking easy!! Anyone tells you its hard or confusing… eye slap for me.. If you don’t know what that is, just look at them as if they have brown stuff on the face and your trying to figure out if it’s shit or a brownie…. One way is tap and pay… Use google wallet, Applepay… whatever you have.. Then from Paddington we walked the 30 minutes to our hotel instead of taking the underground.
Compass: We needed the walk after sitting on the plane for 6 hours and when you only bring a beach bag as a carry-on for 5 days with all recording equipment and clothes… you find new ways to travel light.
Chaos: We arrived at the hotel about 8 am, dropped our bags and headed to the British Museum. One of the few museums of this world you would get me into…
Compass: still having time before the museum opened and we weren't standing in line. We headed across the street to Starbucks for a coffee and pantry where we sat waited and watched.
Chaos: No real rush and wanting to avoid the surge of groups standing at the entrance we thoroughly enjoyed our coffee. 45 minutes later fully caffeinated we spent the rest of the day exploring the British Museum and then wandering over to the Market Place food Hall, which was really cool and so much to choose from.. night was Drunkin Noodle from the Thai place on the first floor… so good!!
Heather: Hello Global Kin, I am going to end this memory here. We are sorry for not dropping an episode last two weeks, but it was Mother’s Day… Time off from everything was a necessity… As for this episode We do hope that you took away some good lessons on freedom, remaining true to yourself and it is possible to still be your true self while being a wife, a husband or whatever you want to call it nowadays. Here is my favorite time, reflection.
Lock up your social desire to post your current or even daily whereabouts. By not enforcing a lockdown of your own will to not post on social media you are granting permission to any scum that wants to get to you. Enforce a 24-to-48-hour delay at minimum, better to wait till you get back home before you dare unleash your adventures on social. Posting where you are going or when you are leaving is sending an invite and literally giving a blueprint to a thief, a rapist, or a homicide statistic.
Staycation is a gilded prison filled with shit that has to be done that has been put off way too long. Staying 10 minutes away from work is not a vacation; it just means by Wednesday you are bored, spending money foolishly on flowers that die, and obsessing over the paperwork piling up on your desk. Flee the country if you have to, because throwing money at flights and new global connections makes total mental sense compared to sitting home doing unpaid household adulting.
Mental peace means resilient children. Keeping the peace with everyone else at the systematic cost of your own mental state and spirit; that is not peace, it is a slow-motion drive to a looney bin. Recognise that your silent stress builds up and will at some point reach an exploiting point, and your kids will pick up on that residual garbage no matter how hard you try to hide it. Take off unsupervised to show your kids how to value their own sanity and independence, instead of accidentally teaching them how to put their own mental peace aside for the rest of the world.
Your Individual Sovereignty is Non-Negotiable. Marriage is a ride-or-die partnership, not an ownership contract where you relinquish the core identity you had long before you met your partner. Ditch the spouse, the friends, and the family for a minute to go 100% competently unsupervised, proving you can still find the magic in the mess entirely on your own terms.
A Significant other is not your father figure. Ransack your personal receipt vault and counter relationship pushback with undeniable, unfeeling logic: joint bills are paid, credit cards are zeroed, and your hard-earned money is yours to spend. Demand the exact same respect and courtesy you show them. Never be fearful of calling out the male that starts to act like a domineering father figure. Remind them that you father is dead even if he is still alive, daddy’s control over you was severed at the age of 18, you run your life. Discussions are only out of love and respect, not permission.
Keep calm and fire a warning shot before the discussion any further. That puts your significant other on notice that this is not a discussion for permission and you have come prepared to march into alone.
I'm going to turn this flying circus back over to the ladies for their farewells.
COMPASS (calm, professional tone) On that note… we hope you enjoyed this episode of CompassChaos13.
Join us every Sunday at 1 p.m. Eastern, or 1300 hours for our fellow travelers in time zones unknown. Next stop: Honestly I am not sure what she has burned yet in the early hours so we will see what I can salvage but no matter what, you can bet we’ll be forging even more unforgettable connections.
CHAOS (excited, playful): Good Luck sifting through the ashes…. hey, the chaos? Always memorable.
COMPASS (mock patience): Listeners, help me out here — please engage with us.
CHAOS (interrupting, smirking): Compass please just stop!! That pleading really hasn’t been working so let’s try something else… Keep your shit to yourself. We will go on talking about us because we have plenty of stories going back to 1995 and we have plans on the books for the next two years to make more!! I think we have them nailed down.. So keep silent, we only need your ears and a finger. Sure you can use the middle one if you want to, go ahead, in fact I encourage it.. Then you can take that finger…
COMPASS: CHAOS!!
CHAOS: and put it right on the share as you post this and the finger to social media using the tag @compasschaos13 … Don’t forget the ONE .. THREE at the end kin.. Very important….if you want us to know what you're saying. If not, you can just talk ABOUT us not to us…. You love us or hate us, either way your talking baby.. Mauh!
COMPASS (cutting in, mock sigh) Please Stop. The show’s over. Kin, no matter what Chaos says we do want to hear from you. Tell us where you found the most human connection… the human hug & kiss from locals. I want to hear about it. (sound tired) I’m Compass — bringing the planned direction.
CHAOS (proudly): And I’m Chaos — bringing the unexpected!
CHAOS (in sync): Together, we make global connections.
HEATHER (narrator / flight attendant tone) Welcome back to the present. On behalf of your dueling hosts, Compass and Chaos, thank you for adventuring with CompassChaos13.
Before you stand, please make sure your pants are dry, your eyes are clear, and your snots are wiped — we don’t do refunds for emotional turbulence.
Some of what you heard today may sound unbelievable, but rest assured — it’s all true, and no one on this adventure is innocent.
For photos, travel tips and to read our blogs wander over to www.CompassChaos13.com.Thank you for connecting with us today. We hope YOUR layover in OUR world brought a little curiosity, a bit of laughter, and a lot of connection. You ARE TRULY APPRECIATED.
This is CompassChaos13 — signing off.