Gjirokaster, Albania: Happy Communist Grandmas, Stone Masters and Raki
This is CompassChaos13: A Real Travel Podcast where Compass Plans, Chaos Rules - Connections Happen Memories of Global Adventures
Heather: Before we begin today’s episode I have a public service announcement, Chaos has a full box of matches and decided due to the full moon she was required to do a burning. Only not sage, rosemary or sandalwood… Hell, not even wormwood, only one thing would do… a memory that she didn’t want to write, tried to derail and when that all failed….. Burned it in the back yard under the light of the full moon at 3 am…. So, here we are… In our last episode we advised that we would be traveling to Rome.. Chaos made a liar out of Compass and myself. Thanks to Chaos we are now back Gjirokaster, Albania…
Chaos: I can’t be held accountable when left to my own devices and matches… Besides I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!!
HEATHER (V.O.): I’m Heather, your adventure narrator and warm body for the hosts for this flying circus. As I said we are now back in Gjirokaster, Albania and with Ryan our hubby, November of 2025.
COMPASS: It started with a detailed curated plan for a day trip to a UNESCO Cultural & Historical site.
CHAOS: It ended with meeting a self made Albanian archeologist, culturalist, historian and preservationist that was one of the most loving people we have ever met and having raki with a self taught stone carver and a Philly ex-pat, that was in the Peace Corps. Trust me, you won't blame me for wanting this one over Rome!
HEATHER (V.O.): Before we depart on this adventure, a few safety checks. First: any brand we mention is one we actually use and trust. We get zero monetary gain for these—if that ever changes, we promise total transparency. Second: this flight is for adults only. Expect questionable language, emotional turbulence and not so subtle adult references of many kinds. Finally, there are no warnings when the unexpected happens, because there are no warnings in real life…
HEATHER (V.O.): Now, let’s Meet your dueling hosts: Compass, the one who plans—and Chaos, the one who burns them. Together, they find the magic in the mess.
COMPASS (V.O.): I’m Compass. My plan is to experience the top tourist things. But, as usual, my head-space companion Chaos has other plans.
CHAOS: Hey Hey Chaos here! I am the patron saint of "we’ll figure it out,". I bring the unexpected, and the reason you want to hear travel tales.. that are actually worth listening to! And this one I promise is worth a listen.
COMPASS (V.O.): Together, we bring the connection.
HEATHER (V.O.): Sit back, relax, and push that share button to anyone who has or needs the Traveler Spirit.
CHAOS: So, buckle up buttercups, for this recent memory in Albania, in the city known as the Stone City Gjirokaster, because honestly the best stories aren't planned.
Compass: we are back in Gjirokaster, Albania. Goddess I do love this country.
Chaos: Rugged, raw and real… dashed and dotted with hugs, kisses and pats on the chest!! I wanna go back.. There is still so much we didn't do.. Hike in the Northern Mountains, go to Shkodker, go to Korce…
Compass: Correct a week was not enough to do the whole country thoroughly. But it was enough to get our feet on the ground, a sample of the spirit and to see her before over tourism sets in.
Chaos: So then why are we telling the public we loved Albania? I would prefer to tell the public it was horrid, don't go.. so the adventurers will only want to go.
Compass: We can't do that to the people of Albania. They have been through enough under their old communist regime. We want to see them grow and prosper.. like a child we never had but now will never leave. So we left off a few weeks back at the end of our last Gjirokaster episode
Chaos: Doing some adult bedroom acrobatics that caused the bed to split during the grand finale!! (Laughing)
Compass: Now we are fully rested and ready to explore only…
Chaos: not the way Compass had it planned. Today we were supposed be up early, fed and in the car by 8pm to go to Butrint National Park a UNESCO world heritage site, a historical jewel of Albania.
Compass: Yes well, I wasn't going to take the car out of the only parking space there is, only to have another partial breakdown because we can't find the right road to get to the hotel. Besides I always try to make it back before dark but it never works out. We are always coming in, in the dark…
Chaos: I know, don't you love it! The adreline rushing, the missed turns, the GPS telling us to turn left, then turn left, and then turn left again while I'm screaming it's bang a fucking uie Google!!
Compass: (giggles) the only thing I like out of all that is you flipping out every time the GPS tells us to make a u turn. Other than that it is pure Anxiety not Adrenaline.
Chaos: Perspective Compass… or better yet emotionally audit your feelings.. we are not going to die because we missed a turn… we are not going to miss out by checking into the hotel later than planned. Well I mean we could die if we miss a turn but the chances of that slim to none.
Compass: You want to talk about Auditing feelings to me!! That's a mighty big cauldron calling a tea pot black… ms. Throat punch, hulk smash with cemented shoes out burst.
Chaos: I don't suppress my feelings.. I vocalize so Transport doesn't black out in rage.. we know what happens then
Compass: Yes I have to make Heather speak in her paralegal voice while you still have her hands restraining someone
Chaos: Nice word.. Restrain… So we can restrain and if that person's face happens to hit a wall, a door and the floor that's ok because they were fighting the restraining.
Compass: Aaaahhhh… I'm not answering that for two reasons: 1. We are not an attorney 2. You don't need any more reasons to restrain, face smash, throat punch, chest kick anything or one..
Chaos; (bitchy) Says you.. I can read I don't actually need you.. it's just more convenient to ask the walking legal dictionary.
Compass: Whatever.. back to our memory. So with Heather, Ryan and myself all voting to not take the car anywhere today, that left us with a little more than a half day that was now unplanned, Unfiltered and
Chaos: left up to me! Let's be honest with our kin here.. Compass was fucking completely bipolar regarding this decision. I'm not poking fun, she had been going back and forth in our head all night. So yeah while Transport had a blissful night sleep thanks to hubby and the bedrobatics… me not so much. Imagine trying to get some sleep cause tomorrow you know regardless is going to be an early day, a new day, a day in another fucking country for Goddess' sake.. but in the next room with mucus thin walls, you hear pacing back and forth… then a voice, if we go we get to explore an original ancient Greek site which became multicultural over the span of 2500 years, an Albanian jewel and a UNESCO site…. but then if we side tracked which we will cause of jackass.. she means me if you don't know kin.. meaning that we probably be back after dark.. have another repeat of hubby giving himself at time out, me an ulcer and hotel staff in the backseat again… but ancient history.. hubby might start just seeing rocks, did we take him to enough ruins already.. but there is also the town of Ksamil known for beach views and water where we were going to have lunch and explore.. before heading to the blue eye and back.. but again there is jackass.. there is always jackass .. why … why is it always the jackass… PLOOP…
Compass: what's the PLOOP?
Chaos; oh that is the sound you make when you have fought yourself to exhaustion and fall facedown on your bed..
Compass; How do you know it's face down?
Chaos; cause you always either cover your face or fall on your face… Just so you know, it's your tell and if you fall on your ass it hurts less because you bounce a bit.
Compass: I need better walls.. or a new roommate.
Chaos: Good luck with both! So as I was saying.. up early, as Transport and Hubby dressed Compass has Transport ask if he wants to take the car down to Butrint. Hubby didn't want to risk it, neither did Transport if truth be told… that is why she has me.. to make her do things she is uncomfortable with. So I was out voted with very little sleep and now unplanned for 6 hours!! This was now becoming my day!
Compass: Yeah like that was going to be allowed.. With no need to dress quickly it was almost 8am before we made it down for breakfast, which was in Hotel Ksamil 2, if you remember we were supposed to stay there but an HVAC mechanical failure had other plans.
Chaos: That memory, with a few more were in the First Albania episode we dropped.. so go back and listen if you're lost …figure it out, you're all adults or should be.
Compass: excuse me..
Chaos: why did you fart?
Compass: No! I don't do that. Voice remember.. I was telling the memory.. Anyway
Chaos: back at the ranch..(giggles)
Compass: You are annoying me today..
Chaos: I know that's what I do when I'm bored.. get to my part..
Compass: Shut up for 10 minutes and I might get there. Goddess' help me! Now, dressed, we walked to breakfast with hubby, going down two flights of wooden creaky stairs and out the heavy wooden door at the other end of the Ottoman style common area and a few feet over to the sister hotel for breakfast.
Chaos: that breakfast was fantastic! Yeah it had eggs made the way you want.. but what I really liked was variety. We had a plate with cucumbers, peppers, tomatoes, olives and 4 big cuts of different cheeses. Then the wonderful server, brought a bowl of some fried dough or bread or something like that.. with a date or fig jam.. don't know don't care it was fucking incredible.. I want more of those.. can we change our solo trip from London to Albania? Just a day trip maybe..
Compass: What?! No!? We.. Heather, myself and YOU..you most of all promised Ryan no detours to other countries!! We all compromised. Ryan for handling his testosterone correctly for not putting up a fight, though we felt it because he was not going to be by our side to protect his wife.
Chaos: He knows Transports a Valkyrie.. not a princess… we don't need protection.. He gave us exactly what we require: freedom without a fight.
Compass: still doesn't mean he won't worry..
Chaos: I'm sure you will have that covered by texting him and Alyssa every night. Though you don't do it when we are in the States.
Compass: Again side tracked..
Chaos: right Albanian breakfast.. yummy.. then there was the apples with honey and cinnamon.. that is better than the cinnamon and sugar we do at home!! The last was I think, like a bread pudding with a cinnamon sprinkle. Oh yeah and a little fat weinnie (giggles).. the breakfast not the men.. we don't know about the men..
Compass: No! Why does everything that you say have a double entendre.
Chaos: it's only for those who can't feel us, Compass.
Compass: Again!
Chaos; that's what I said! I can keep going if you like
Compass: Save it for other episodes. So, as we finished breakfast I pulled up Google to see what else we could do that I didn't plan due to original timing.. but now now..
Chaos: Da Da da here comes Chaos to save the day!! Castle first!! Compass had this planned for the end of the day when we may have gotten back in time.. if I followed her guide rules.. but we all know how that turns out.. and if you don't by now.. go back to the origin story. If you still don't get it, sorry we can't help you. I was in the middle of arguing with Compass when Hubby beat me to it. He said let's go explore the castle. He didn't say.. see, look at, walk around…. He said explore!! (Happily, jumping like kid) I know what that means… he is going to play with me .. hubby's chaos is going play with me…
Will he ever name his voices??.
Compass: You assume he has them.. he may be normal
Chaos: not if he willing agreed, said we do, and continues to chose Transport everyday knowing how fucked up she really is… HE doesn't have voices.. bullshit. I bet one tells him to take the pillow and place it over our head … or when we are at the top of an ancient staircase.. I can hear his chaos whisper.. just a nudge…if you take a small baby step,.put your elbow out and turn fast you can knock her off balance and weeeeeeeee… human dirt ball. (Laughing)
Compass: There you go again thinking that those who have these voices are like you…
Chaos: Everyone does!! Again just the first to have the tits to admit it. Besides, I'm as sweet as sriracha honey… an acquired taste. So hubby and I got our wish.. Gjirokaster Fortress, which we explored all around by car the night before looking for the hotel, we were now going to hike up and explore. *PRO VET TIP: Albania does have credit card usage at most hotels, restaurants and such.. However, be aware a lot of local merchants and attractions are cash or buy online with a card. Have cash on you. Avoid credit cards if possible because in all European countries you get charged back the 2-4% of the transaction that the vendor pays to the card company.. so you're paying their fee to take the card on top of the exchange rate.
Compass: That was a good pro tip..
Chaos; Well, we did get caught with our pants down so to speak.. but we will get to that.. soon.. (giggles).. but First, we climb!
Compass: These are wide stone stairs. Not fit for strollers, walkers, canes at least not the tourist.. The locals handle it better.
Chaos: Unless you have a baby in your arms, a 7 year old steering the baby stroller down and locals coming up!! That was some shit to watch… but we aren't there yet either.. knowing the direction to get to the Fort very well we walked out the door of the hotel. Our car was parked in the last spot on a very tight corner that also had another hotel's gated parking access.
Compass: Walking out onto the cobblestone street we looked at our little blue car.. WTF!!
Chaos: there goes Compass, her eyes go right to a black line in the fender. Taking control of Transport she has her March over to the car and starts inspecting it for signs like it was a dead body.. wait! That's not a scratch from a black car…
Compass: You went and touched it!!
Chaos: how else were we to confirm it wasn't a scratch… I touched it alright.. down one side drops the other side stays in place… there's a crack!! Are YOU fucking kidding me (laughing).. we even asked the woman if the car would get hit .. nope, be fine… Shit, hubby is going to be pissed…
Compass: Yeah, you couldn't stop playing with the crack
Chaos; I never play with crack!! Don't you know crack kills!! Unless it's our crack, then it's only a slight discomfort,maybe make you sick temporarily.
Compass: Oi Ve… Story!
Chaos; just sayin.. before Transport could get our hand off the fender hubby had already come around to see another anniversary gift left by the universe, the crack.
Compass; As Ryan starts swearing and advising that there are cameras on the outside of the hotel and he wants them reviewed while he now walks the full driver side of the car.
Chaos: He doesn't even inspect us that well, when we get out of the shower!! Maybe I should show more crack!! (Laughs)
Compass: What is with you lately!? I mean really.. This is a bit more than normal.
Chaos: it's called pre menopause… i have the mind of a sex crazied teen again, but we are drier than the fucking Gobi desert during a 1000 year drought!! It's fucking annoying as shit.. now I see why men around this time can have E.D…. Because at our age regardless of the sex, you still want it.. it just takes five times longer for the body to register that it does also, by that time you're too tired to keep trying. A joke that mother nature pulls on both sides when they age!!
Compass: okay… so only one crack on the front fender, no other marks.. back into the hotel we go and up to the front desk.
Chaos: Transport spoke as she looked at the cameras feeding into the screen just to the upper left of the front desk.. not much to be seen since there were about three stairs down and a small patio area before you get to the heavy wooden doors. She advised the woman at the front desk what she had found and asked if we could see the feed. The woman got some man, who we think was the manager, who advised us that he would look at it and let us know.
Compass: Hubby tries to push back asking why we couldn't see it. The manager advised that it would take time to pull and review.. if there was anything to see we could see it.. to come back in a few hours.. that wasn't sitting well with Ryan but there was little he could do.
Chaos: So I jump in and say ok let's go explore and when we are done we will check in with the front desk… out the door we go again, with faint rumbles coming from behind.. oh boy need a distraction quick.. we head down to the center of old town knowing there was a ton of cool cold war shit on the now pedestrian way, not a road like Google maps says that was in 2016!! Check your Google map dates.(Laughs)
Compass: (embarrassed) just keep going..
Chaos: As you wish… heading up the road I was able to get Hubby's mind to focus on looking for a briki to make Greek Coffee at home.. but not just any one.. one that was old, copper, hand stamped, and held enough water to make two cups in one… no luck but it did get his mind off the crack! Is that a triple entendre? Double letter score.. I got the look, I know our kin can't see it.. but I did.. We also stumbled on a cold war bunker that housed an eclectic mix of Albania Historical artifacts. Currently they were closed. It was still only about 9am. Most businesses don't open till ten. Up the stone steps we hiked… and hiked and hiked… stopped at a little park area took some pic of the symbols on the table cause they were interesting and then hiked up some more. Getting to the top was a workout
Compass: but with stone steps and the views out over the town seeing the stone roofs of the old town houses was something we never saw made the climb worth it. There were a few vendors setting up their lace wares along the retaining walls of the stairs that lead up, but not many right now. Not to mention that at that time in the am is was peaceful as well.. there were few locals out and no tourists.. I think we heard two tourists the whole time in Albania… British here in Gjirokaster and German in Berat. Other than that pure Albanian.
Chaos; This is why we travel. We walk to the big stone arch and wooden doors.. the ticket office is to the left tucked into the fortress rooms. Changing the use of the room from what was a guards room originally into a ticket office. (Giggles) Ryan goes to pay with his phone, remember he lost his wallet over a week ago somewhere between London Heathrow and Tirene.
Compass:I know that is a good memory with some new modern good survival skills. We will get to it.. finish this one.
Chaos: The woman at the window says cash only.. I had 2 euros on me. Yes they take Euros in Albania as well, not usd. Well, hubby was like well I guess that's out cause I'm not climbing all the way back up here. There was a guard or an actual police officer in not sure cause the uniforms of both were very similar so it was hard to tell. He says that you can go online and pay by card online. So hubby goes online and starts doing his thing..
Compass: Heather and Chaos are looking all over.. up the stone walls, to the stone vaulted ceilings, down the hall passed security where now they are staring at the cannons that are exhibited in the main hallway. Then we hear hubby.. I don't know what happened, I just had it…
Chaos; well compass now brought our attention back to what was in front of us.. the security officer was now in full control of hubby's phone and hubby by the officer’s side trying to figure out what happened… (giggles) 4 heads and still have problems!! See 2 heads ARE NOT better than one!
Compass: Yes well… after about 5 minutes they figured it out and we had tickets in the email.
Chaos: Transport and I were thrilled and let Compass say her word in Albanian Filerhemderit.. Thank you! The guys on the other hand.. you know how this goes.. hey thanks man.. anytime man.. hey thanks again.. then through the rope we went and off to explore. This Fortress was fun to explore. It has a whole bunch of nooks, side vaults and underground prisons you can visit. Just watch your head, cause it is pitch black, dirt, rock and low ceilings.. Hubby almost knocked himself into the prison below. There are cannons, turrets, walls, rooms you can explore… you can even see the crashed and recovered US plane from the time of the Cold War. The instruments and all were gutted and it's behind an iron fence but it is really cool to see and read about.
Compass: I did the research. so I knew that it happened in 1957 middle of the Cold War… the pilot was returned home but the modern plane remains a solid modern fixture in a medieval stone Fortress. Gijrokaster Fortress built by the Byzantine’s roughly between 12 -14th century, then taken over by the Ottoman Empire… then in the 20th century taken under Communist Rule.
Chaos: what was really cool was we walked in places that Ali Pasha walked…. Granted it wasn’t Ioannia where his alchemy, court and world dominance resided.. But it was while he was building up his borders….. This Fortress was huge.. It took us almost 4 hours to do it all. Well, we didn’t do the little museum inside… I mean no offense, how could we when the ruins were beckoning… it would be rude to ignore them!
Compass: We scrambled up and down… stumbled sideways both sides… looked down into darkness and up into light…
Chaos: speaking of darkness… We were in the prison hold in the lower level of one of the offshoots and I turned off the flashlight on our phone. With the exception of one very small window way up high there was no other light. The prison cell which we explored, two had vaulted ceiling, large with a half brick wall that split them but a walk through in the back where the prisoners would be… not sure if that was recent or done by the prisoners themselves to be able to walk… While these were big cells, I could pictured them packed, especially between the Ali Pasha era and the Communist era.
Compass: Having explored all of what we could, the clock tower, the back entrances that are now gated off.. I would suggest walking these, because as you look up you see the slots and the windows… it’s made to filter and control the movement prior to inner entry to the Fortress. As you slowly walk back up there is a different sense that settles on you. Walking down you don’t really notice them, you're looking at them but it seems like it's just another window or watch… as you come back up once you have turned around at the big iron gate that blocks another huge entry, looking at them now… it turns into a sense of being watched with suspension.. Those windows and watches seem to have faces lurking back in the shadows unseen…
Chaos: While you were feeling… I was thinking how do we get up there to look down on the funnel… I prefer to be the protector not the protected… I wanted that view. I could see how easy it would be if an archer or a good knivesman were stationed at every other one. I mean from this advantage you could get coming or going… The message was clear, we are watching play accordingly.
Compass: That it was. With the Fortress thoroughly explored and more locals starting to enter the Fortress. It was Albania’s second Independence Day.. Yes they have two November 28 & 29… read about it, it is a really cool history. It was time to give the locals their space, their time to reconnect with their history, they don’t need an outsider running around with cell phone scrambling all over like a ferret.
Chaos: Besides hubby felt like he needed an espresso break, but 6 is his limit… and he found it on this trip.. not in Gjirokaster but sometime when we were in Greece on this two week adventure.
Compass: 6 is his cap.. but we are going to try to remind to hoover around 4 or 5 in a 6 hour period...
Chaos: But not before getting down the mountain!! We walked, we didn’t skip, hop, run or bounce… There was a mother with a baby in her arms and a 7 to 8 year old trying work his sister's large stroller down the stone stairs. Mom watched trying to help him steer when needed or a push when it got stuck, but we understood the balance and the work that came with that… Now, Hubby being the gentleman that he is, asked the mom if she would like some help with the stroller… She looked thankful and appreciative.. Transport could see the fight with the 7 year old had started at the landing to go down and was a lost cause by switchback 3… {laughs} the 7 year old had his own plans…. When mom told him to let the man help (I think that is what she was saying again only knowing a few words in Albanian, not helpful here)... the 7 year old was like Jo.. That word I knew…. No! [giggles] the mom thanked hubby for his help and as the 7 year old took off down the stairs with the stroller, we had a flashback of hubby the night before with his suitcase…
Compass: Yes, you burst out laughing…. I believe Heather gave a little giggle and I was left holding tongue… not reminding Ryan about the night before or the car this am, which we all had forgotten about… almost.
Chaos: Once we hit the main road, the tunnel we saw earlier was now open… as I had Transport stop and look at a few cold war era coins, uniforms and gas masks.. Yeah I said it.. Gas mask, you never know when you may need one… We have one from WWII at our 40 hour. Historical and useful.. But anyway, while we were browsing, a wise woman that was raised during the communist time came up, and started showing me all the different things that she had for sale as she walked us to her now open tunnel..[giggles] sounds so dirty, doesn’t.
Compass: STOP!!…. This is not going to be like the Rome Episode that is supposed to drop instead of this one… all because you couldn’t keep focus and Heather didn’t feel it!! We had a plan.. We agreed for the memories for the month… And somehow it goes missing…
Chaos: [giggles} We hit another nerve folks!! Damn I’m good…. The woman tried to tell us about her tunnel [giggles harder]... not understanding the wise woman goes and gets a younger woman that speaks solid english… PRO VET TIP: Most Albanians, especially the younger ones, do know English, it is not uncommon to hear fluent Albanian then a switch to English then back to Albanian… I loved it…
Compass: So the younger Albanian woman advised us that the coins we were looking at were 2Euro and to enter the tunnel it would be 1 Euro…. But cash only..
Chaos: not having cash on us at the moment I couldn't buy anything but I told the woman I would be back.
Compass: PRO VET TIP: In Albania people are still held to their word. It is a matter of cultural and national pride. They also expect the same respect. This is not a country that has seen over tourism or has been numbed by the tourists. I'll be back in line, like Terminator. So if you visit this country be a person of your word, respect their culture and heritage.
Chaos: That is 100 percent true. Leaving the two women with the promise that we would be back. I wanted to see all the treasures that were in this old Cold War tunnel… First we were on the hunt for an ATM… we found the first one… not working.. ok… found a second… out of cash… ok… DaDaDaaa here comes the blue dot to save the day! Hubby taking out his phone, he has service on his for this little adventure, there is another ATM outside the old center not too far… it was in a large.plaza area with a beautiful white building and a overlook of lower Gjirokaster with a few busts heads of Albania legends.. one of course being Skanderbeg.
Compass: a 14th century ruler that united all the different tribes to form one group in order to hold off the Ottoman expansion. Though he was from northern Albania and was a leader in the Ottoman army he defected. You can't just throw names around like people know who we are talking about.
CHAOS: they have minds and fingers.. they can fucking Google if they are that interested. Not everyone wants a historical synopsis, though truth be told history is fascinating.. just depends on the history you focus on. Enough with this classroom education..(Pink Floyd) .. we don't need no education… we don't need no controlled thoughts… hey Compass leave our kin alone.. dda da daa
Compass: We are not doing musicals and how many times do I have to tell you copyright is a fucking thing!
Chaos: And another cord struck! I'm hitting them all today baby.. I'm on fire!(Laughs)
Heather; Compass no… Chaos not the darts!!
Chaos; tell her to put down the broom! Why is the broom up here anyway? We have fucking carpet.. I know we're Portuguese and it feels like Portugal in our town, but really!!
Compass: I had Heather sweeping the ceiling, walls and sills.
Chaos: (laughs) that is worse than when Transport uses the broom to bang out rugs in the summer like all our other Portuguese neighbors.. (laughing)... Hey, you have to be quicker than.. try sitting on it vertically you might swing faster
Compass: why don't you step closer, Chaos…
Chaos: bitch I have darts that I ordered from Amazon so no fucking child proof bullshit, decent aim and arm.. besides I have tits I'm not fucking stupid!! Why do I need to go anywhere and why do.i have to keep repeating myself.. I can hurt you from here with a flick of a wrist.. remember you didn't really like playing darts with Dad and bro. I had some great times and made lots of holes in the walls!! Lol
Heather: Corners! (Clentched teeth) NOW! Sorry kin… I am going to take a moment to breathe and let this flying circus bring it back a bit… Okay… we good… Chaos darts please, Compass broom please…
Chaos: You're not touching my darts.
Compass: If she is not handing over her missiles of injury I’m not surrendering my swat instrument.
Heather: Fine… everyone just put them down. .. Now don’t touch them again until we sign off. Understood…. You can both look at me like that all you want.. This is how this is going to go. Now back to the story.
Chaos: Whatever, so the third ATM was charm…. We took out 5000 Leks which was at the time about 60 USD. Compass of course had to linger and take some pictures of the mountains from the viewing point. Walking back through the old city center and back up to the tunnel. We met the old woman again and handed her 500 leks… she had the young lady go get change. When she came back we tried to tell her no, change but they would have it. Once we took the change that was owed to us, though we wanted to give a donation but that was a hard word to charade, the wise woman Gina I believe is what she said, it was a bit longer that that but when we tried the pronunciation she giggled and said Gina! we think that the whole lost in translation could play in here. She took us and lead us into her tunnel (giggles) ..
Compass; I can't every time… with this.. still! 6 months later!! Gina lead us down the Cold War Bunker that was drilled into the side of the hill the fortress is on. Showing us all her collectibles. The date range on these treasures was amazing! From early Roman & Byzantinian to late 1990’s cold war era.
Chaos: we are taking swords, mortal shells, guns, gas masks, mortal and pestles stone, grain wheels, jewelry, glassware’s… hell she even had t.v.s, bikes and clothes!! I mean there was even a Soviet Passport and papers!! This was fucking so cool!! Nothing was in any real order. It was a treasure hunt and what is that? All wrapped into one beautiful game in a tunnel that only really allowed one way traffic for two people tops!
Compass; I was so worried about Chaos touching things, I was not paying attention to Heather’s foot and it hit one of the old I think lead pots Gina was using to catch water that seeped through the decaying cement.
Chaos: scaling the hell out of us as it slid across the wet dirty cement. I really am heart broken that this wise woman has spent her life collecting, so proud of her collection as she should be, only to watch it be destroyed by water. At the end of the tunnel there is a short video about the culture of Albania and Gjirokaster area. We only took about 30 mins. I could have gone longer since there were just things everywhere, but hubby was ready to move.. it was past 3 and no one had eaten since breakfast.
Compass: Ryan still craving his expresso, me wanting my latte, you wanted a beer.. then there was Heather this time..
Chaos: (laughs) Compass and I didn't have one finger, toe or nudge to do with this connection. Transport knowing full well that this whole trip was going to be at some point on CompassChaos13 even though it is November of 2025 and this only came to a head in September when the three of us entered into our blood pact. Oh yes, we signed in blood and tears.. well two out of three in tears.. So this bitch as soon as we get out of the wise women's tunnel (giggles) runs up to her and says thank you thank you thank.you that was amazing and tries to hand her more money. Gina won't take it!! (Laughing) When Transport wants to give away our hard mentally and physically restrainted 40 hour a week clerk fucking pay in a state where people on State Assistance make more per year take home than we do, there is no stopping her. So now I have a question?
Compass: oh boy! If it is what I think it is please don't. We are not causing a riot over a question.. your questions always comes with very long emotional discussions that have no results because people don't want to compromise.
Chaos; it shouldn't.. my question is are we stupid for not staying on State Assistance, by popping out another kid when Alyssa turned three… it's not like we didn't have the chance. We still could have, WIC, Section 8, Food Stamps, cell phone, ezpass and cash.. so why are we working? Just asking..
Compass: Chaos that is exactly the questions that starts what I was avoiding. Heather! Why are you allowing this?
Heather: chaos to answer your question; because that is a choice we made. We needed assistance we paid into it since we were 15, we took it when we needed it the most. When we didn't needed it and made our decision no more kids. Compass why am I allowing it.. because 1. It is a sensitive but necessary topic to have a CIVIL conversation about it. It cost a lot of money in taxes. 2. People will at some point or points need assistance there is no shame in it. 3. We have personally seen the system abused growing up by some people we grew up with. No kin we will never give names that we promise and guarantee. It's in the past. And last 4. Because that system is broken and mending it is no longer working. A new system is needed. Now that the questions are answered back to the memory.
Chaos: That was …
Compass: Diplomatic and correct on all points. So with Heather being just as assertive as as Gina.
Chaos: I was a proud voice! I sat back and just let her go.. though I wasn't happy about giving away my much fought over money… but it was for a good cause. Transport with a huge smile, that almost made her eyes disappear, pushed the money at Gina… Gina pushed back… it was like watching sisters.fight over a shirt, only it was an; i don't want it you take it.. back and forth. It was a raisinet moment. But honestly at some point it had to stop…
Compass: and here is Chaos to make that happen cause now she is siding with Ryan. He wants his expresso and chaos wants her beer!
Chaos: I hiked, I explored, I rambled and we didn't die.. yeah that deserves a beer! Now it was my turn to assist.. I had Transport point to the water on the walls and in the pots… Gina said in what I found to be good English.. water destroys everything… I had Transport shake her head like a crazy woman saying PO. Which means yes.. I know two words.. Jo (no, cause it sounds like the name Joe) and Po (yes, because it's the name of Kung Fu Panda!)
Compass: (laughing) couldn't remember any other of the 20 we were practicing..
Chaos; I remember the two that are going to help the most in any language … No first.. then Yes.. too many words limited storage space. Use wisely. So now Gina and Transport are sharing a heart felt, I know I felt it, moment over the destruction of history!! I have to stop this now or we are never leaving.. I had Transport push back one more time… point to the water and push the money into Gina's chest with a loving toughness that registered as she was taking this money.. not out of pity, or empathy… but as a woman, a sister, a lover of history and a love for those that try their best to preserve from being lost.
Compass: When it registered in Gina's eyes this was not hand out or something that was going to tie her to us.. but a true gift of appreciation for her passion and struggles the light that was in her eyes got even brighter. It was one of the most memorable interactions with any local we have ever had in our 30 years of personal travel and over 20 in the industry.
Chaos: What was crazy.. was how fast we went from being lovingly fighting sisters to now ..a grandmother and granddaughter embraced in a hug that we haven't felt since our only grandmother was not only alive but healthy! Shit she smelled like her too.. it was nuts… I think that generation all wear the same perfume… When Transport and Gina finally stopped hugging and swaying and kissing.. there was kissing!! We were kissing strangers..
Compass: (sarcasticly) Mom would be so proud..
Chaos: Hey at least we knew her name.. there were plenty
Compass: STOP right there … Shut IT down now..
Chaos: I'm not ashamed.. choices were made, questions weren't asked… curiosity didn't hurt this kitty!
Compass: Goddess take her… anywhere.
Chaos: Maat said I stay.. Shiva says no go.. Hera says your fucked (I always did like her) .. it's not looking good for you Compass… I feel for you…I really do. But you keep trying. As Gina and Transport released each other, Transport of course had to ask if Gina would take a picture with her…. Don't worry once we can catch up on putting together highlight photos into video you will see. But the photo is on our home page in the small collection under Global Kin… Some how one last embrace was given more kisses and off we went. I'm not a mushy, heartfelt, sappy soppy affectionate type person.. If I get warm feelings it's anger… not love.
Compass: (proud) that was all me witch!! I was overdosed with affection, and understood the real silent appreciation of that moment and connection. You and Heather are not the affectionate types, it doesn't that help that you two label grab ass as affection… it's not! Remember.. you.. chaos and Heather used grab 250 lb men by the throats and threat to end there life right there if they grabbed ass again,,,, and wouldn't let go with an retired crooked cop, a men that is the doppelganger for me. Fucking clean that did ten years in prison and our best friend at the time English pulling at arms and waist to get you off…
Chaos: Ahhh the good ole days… where everyone had an illegal weapon but us.. yet everyone worries about us. Not sure what that says about us?! Oh well back to the memory cause we are not done yet… there is still coffee, raki and more connections…
Compass:(impatiently) let's get on with them shall we.
Chaos; testy… ok so Now it was time for a quick coffee break, but not before wondering around a bit… We wonder up to the minaret looking at the mosaic attached from the outside. There were worshippers inside, we saw shoes outside and besides most mosaics usually don’t just allow anyone to walk in, it’s not a church. With the sun starting to set at about 4, we decided on a random cafe. Hubby and Transport had beers and the nuts that came with it.
Compass: Now it was time to get back to the hotel to put on another layer of clothes before heading back out for a stone carving experience. We booked through Get Your Guide for this experience. PRO VET TIP: When searching for experiences I start with Viator & Get Your Guide. It takes some searching, which comes with seeing the same tour just post again with only fewer reviews so it doubles or triples the chances of people booking because it stays in front of their eyes. However, if you dive deep you can find some really unique experiences. I also use google to generically by searching unique experiences in the place I am visiting. Before booking on either Viator or Get Your Guide, I check the who is offering the tour and then go to their website directly. Usually if it’s not sold out, it’s a better deal.
Chaos: We walked back through old city center and up to the hotel. As hubby showered quickly, Transport opened the window and took a few pics of the view, which have a nice view of the stone roofs. Transport layered up and hubby was fresh out of the shower and ready to carve some stone.
Compass: Before we left the hotel I pulled up the meeting location on Heather’s cell phone while there was still wifi. If you pull up the directions before leaving wifi, it stays on google maps as long as you don’t close the app. The meeting location was at a travel agency on a few 100 feet from the hotel.
Chaos: I remember seeing it in our wonderings… I couldn’t help it, I like peaking in agency’s to see what shiny gold covered PBS they are serving people. You can see by the posters, the big pictures… I am not talking small swag stuff, I’m talking bigger ticket items, that doesn’t come free with no strings… We headed back out onto the stone streets of Gjirokaster, now dark and more lively. It was now 530pm and in Albania they have a cultural practice of going out to walk and socialize. Under communism whispered conversations were best had in am open air of arm and arm embrace of a trusted person. Insides were thought to be bugged, neighbors listened for signs of democracy or complaint so they could better their status within the party. Really no different than what we have, only we don’t have to have hushed discussions about a wilted carrot running a country…. We can say out loud, proud and our only fear is being cancelled!! [laughs].... If you are a person that worries about being cancelled or unliked, you are not for us. Why cause that means you give a shit what others.. that you don’t know, heard of, talk to or give two flying dodo’s about think of you. All I can say…. Poor thing, have fun with that life. Like Daddy said if Your friend thought you should jump off a bridge would you? … Depends is there water and how deep? How high is the bridge? Is the water cold? What time of year is it? Which friend is asking? .. If you are not asking those questions then your not actually weighing all your options now are you.. So the only person you cheat is yourself because of others.
Compass: I don’t think that is logically sound? I am going to question that…
Chaos: That is your prerogative to do so… you're still weighing your jump are you not? Thank you for proving my point… I know I frustrated you just as much as mom and dad…
Compass: On the stone street we walk down the twisted roads, to the agency which doesn’t really appear open… okay… Ryan looks around and says… are you sure this is the place. I show him the tickets and the address on them… Heather replies, this is what it says….
Chaos: We head to the door, pulled…. It was open… oh yeah, motion sensor lights! A man pops out of the back and says hi in Albanian. We answered in English, he switched over for us. Asking how he can help. Transport showed the tickets to the agent. He looked surprised, and went to his computer. I knew, someone messed up or a computer didn’t send a final list…. So as he is scanning his emails, schedules, and everything else he can think of he asks to give him a minute. Hubby at this point was outside because it was too hot inside, so he is sitting on the stone wall across from the agency, the agent goes running out the door and down the road….
Compass: Okay….. What the hell just happened? Did we really just get left alone in a travel agency?
Chaos: I was trying very hard to snoop, now was the time to see how well Albanian travel agents treat their clients reservations.. Do they leave information on their desk, on their printers, did he lock his computer before he went flying out the door? Inquiring minds want to know…
Compass: NO… this was not our country.. And we don’t want to see anyone’s personal information.. If we did that is something that we can’t unsee. No worth the risk…
Chaos: So we looked at the little swag stuff they had for sale… lots of stuff for one particular horseback riding place… top commission payout is what that told us. Ryan opened the door after about 5 minutes and asked .. what is going on? Is he coming back?..... Ahhhh I think he is coming back he said wait a minute….. Not sure, seems they don’t have our reservation. Not sure what is going on right now…. He said okay, closed the door and went back to sit down on the stone wall. Finally the agent came running back in…. He apologized so many times for being so long, leaving us along and not being able to find the reservation. He said he was able to catch the stone mason as we was getting ready to close up shop and he will do the carving.
Compass: Great… I think… This could feel rushed, this is not what I was expecting…
Chaos: No… it was 1000 times better!! We were the only ones for this experience… no one else just us and hubby. We followed the agent down the street to the stone masons workshop… we walked in.. it was small, and covered wall to wall with all different stone carvings… The agent advised that the stone mason didn’t speak English but that we could pick a design that we wanted to make and take home. The agent then apologized for having to get back to the office and asked if we would be alright not having a translator….
Compass: Chaos took full control of Heather’s mouth and said… oh don’t worry we will be fine, I can figure it out and I can play charades.
Chaos: We wanted to do the flag of Albania, I love their red flag with the black double headed eagle… but when I pointed to it the master, that is what we called him, and he started speaking Albanian and moving his hands… I got his body language, his tone, his energy but not his words…. Too much too long too hard…. The agent stared to translate and I looked at him and said takes too much time and not for a beginner. The agent looked stunned and asked if we know Alabanian, Transport said no but she understood the hands and the tone… The agent laughed and said ok, you should be alright…he asked we go back to the agency after the experience. We said we would. Turning back to hubby, I said you pick first…. Now that we couldn’t do the flag we had to rethink this….. Frog… Cat… Dog… Snake… Turtle…. I think I want to do the snake…
Compass: Hubby had just picked the snake as Chaos was just settling…. Now well…. Heather and Chaos couldn’t do the same thing has hubby… hell even our marriage tattoos aren’t the same… the are crowns, but of different choosing, he has roman numerals in American date of our wedding and we have roman numerals in the European Style date. Same but different. So now back to the stoneboard…. We went with a frog.
Chaos: Hubby up first for his stone carving, the master etched into the stone an outline of the coiled snake… the master then pulled out his tools…. The first set he demonstrated was the chisel and hammer… I’m having childhood flash backs of taking our dads tools.. His chisel and hammer … we used them on the road… our brother used them on one of the cars…. But I digress… so now the master hands over the chisel and hammer to hubby…. As he is testing his stone working skills I have Transport video… He is having to turn this way and that way… and hubby being hubby was trying for perfection which sometimes masters don’t have the patients for…. After a few minutes the master takes the tools from hubby and works the snake a bit faster…. Then hands the tools back to hubby to finish… I am fucking dying, I though he was doing a good job… but going a bit slow myself so when the master took the tools and double timed the snake…. I could feel his confidence taking a hit, though he would never admit it.
Compass: He watched with a smile and also with a look of awe in how fast the master worked.. As Ryan was trying to work a bit faster. He finished the outline then the master pulled out another chisel this one wasn’t a completely flat chisel .. the end of this one was spiked… yes I know there is a term for it, no I am not going to look in up I am tired… So the master was now showing Ryan how to chip away around the snake to give the background depth. Master than handed Ryan the tools once again…….
Chaos: Poor hubby…. It did it again… focused more on perfection than quickness…. The master ended up finishing up the background in double time… As we admired hubby’s work with him, the master said … raki… made the charade of drink… and looked at us.. Ryan said sure… Transport agreed as well, thanks to me…. We knew what raki was, hubby didn’t…. Out the door the master goes…. It is the land of Houdini’s….. I love it! While we waited hubby was happy in his experience but he confided that he felt he wasn’t going fast enough since he got his tools taken away….. [giggles]... I wasn’t going to poke fun though I had a few good ones.. But transport said I believe your right…. Sorry sweetie… hubby was like thats ok I like my snake… we just burst out laughing and transport agreed she liked his snake too, that is why we said I do.
Compass: The master had returned just in time with three plastic cups of raki… we cheered and while the guys knocked them back… I had Heather take a sip… yeap just as thought, moonshine just sweeter.
Chaos: There's the burn… ok, we tried it… Albanian moonshine, not for us either.. Ill stick with the local beer. Hubby looked at us, laughed and said your not going to finish that are you… nope.. so he finished it for us.. now it was our turn to learn from the master.. breaking out the small chisel to sketch the frog design once finished he quickly showed us the way to use the tools… yeah about that… thanks for the pointers.. as the master handed is the hammer and chisel I didn't waster a single second making stone chips fly… safety glasses, gloves and mask… don't exist… or at least we didn't ask. I didn't care about perfect, I wanted to see if I could do it as fast as the master and how it would come out…
Compass: Chaos went chisel happy… as we are in the middle of stone chips and lout quick tapping sessions Ryan announced hes going to get another raki for him and the master… trying to ask the master where the master brought him to the door and pointed up the road… I had Heather look up to see if Ryan registered… he did for the direction but after that well..
Chaos: about 10 mins and ¾ of a frog later, hubby comes back with two plastic cups of raki… so now we are left unsupervised even though the master was 10feet away. The boys were drinking and laughing…and now somehow spoke the same buzzed language.. well almost.. even though Transport and I are chiseling our hearts out, pretty good if I do say so myself, and we hear the master say Christopher Philadelphia…
Compass: wait .. what did he just say… I have Heather stop chiseling and look up.. the master, wish I could remember his name, it might be in our goggle review.. he is looking at Heather now and starts again in Albanian then all of the sudden Christopher Philadelphia and his arms were pointing out the door and then around in a circle..
Chaos: My turn… Hi… hubby is looking at us and back at the master, looking like how the hell did she learn Albanian.. I had Transport translate or so I thought.. He knows a man from Philadelphia named Christopher… it seems he maybe around here somewhere.. not sure if he is a saying he owns a cafe, a restaurant or is just visiting… Then the master who was now red in the face, and full of smiles and laughs… takes the serrated chisel from its skirt and quickly shows Transport how to make bring depth to the background. As he strikes a mark near the edge… the stone broke…the noise that came out of Transports mouth was taken as disappointment until she burst out laughing.. the master was quick to say .. it's okay… no, no.. it's okay… he goes to a shelf, grabs some gorilla glue and flies the stone back together.
Compass: He did a great job of lining it up to. Can't even tell it was broke… We wait about two minutes and checked the glue, it was good to go.
Chaos: He then hands us the tools, watches for all about two wacks… says Jo.. Jo..and something else pats us on the back.. walks to hubby pats him on the back holds up his finger says something and leaves…
Compass: Ryan is looking at us like what the hell just happened… but says I hope he is not going to get more raki!! I'm 3 in less than an hour.. that shit is moonshine! As his face is also a glow.
Chaos: Transport laughs and says that's all you babe.. Hubby says aahh I can't be rude…. Now I'm yelling the fuck you can't be rude, who are you looking at? Not us, we know for a fact you can be just like us.. only difference is you are enjoying yourself and happy.. but Transport held our tongue
Compass: Probably for the better since you can flip someone's switch faster than a street walker opens for a John. And with hubby you know exactly what switches to flip when he is drinking.
Chaos: I know you both reminded me that his chaos was playing and bored while I set to stone. Good for the goose, I know.. so back to making stone fly, the master reappears with someone at his heels.. Man in his mid thirties carrying a jug of something cloudy and a very light yellow.. the master came over to us and looked at our stone.. He took the tools and did a few more wacks.. took a step back, examined the work and said YO! Then started to grab newspaper to wrap the stones… this gave me the time to make new friends…
Compass: Oh she did.. without missing a beat.. Heather says.. you Chris from Philly.. Chris laughs and says yes how… oh he was telling us about you. Chris asked you speak Albanian.. laughing Heather says no, I understood Chris Philly and then there was arms leading out and around so I figured you were around somewhere. Chris laughs…
Chaos: He started telling us that he joined the Peace Core out of high school and was stationed in Albany for three or so years and fell in love with everything. He still goes back to the States a few times a year but he has an apartment in Gjirokaster where he works and has a studio but he also has a house in the country where he grows grapes to make his own raki, which he brought with him! As the guys drink and Chris talks about how meet the master, his family, the country, the people and we have another great conversation about America with an American choosing to remain in Albania and now has duel citizenship!! It was great!
Compass: 2 more cups of raki in and it was time to get back to the agency. The master had asked Chris ask about payment, which was completely fair since the poor master at the start was uninformed of our reservation. Heather told Chris what happened and showed him the paper. Chris explained it to the master then said to Heather, he is going to walk you back to the agency to talk to the agent with you… I had Heather immediately say of course we want to make sure he gets paid for this.. this was an incredible experience. So we said goodbye to Chris and the 5 of us… Heather (with us), Ryan and the Master walked back to the agency.
Chaos: when we got there hubby said he was waiting outside, so we went in with the master. The agent was there and asked how was it.. we told it was fantastic!! That we need to make sure he gets paid and asked if he found the reservation. He said not yet but he will figure it out. We said that was fine but we want to make sure the master gets paid for this. I don't care who miscommunicated, how it got lost.. only thing that matters is that he did his job and needs to be paid.
Compass: I wish I could say that Heather was not that assertive with the agent but I would be lying.. the only thing that kept it light was Heather forcing herself to laugh a bit to cover the full bite of tone and warning. The agent again assured us the master would be paid for his time.. just in case there were any issues with payment we left our WhatsApp for the agent and also the master… giving the master a tip and saying a grateful heartfelt thank to both of them we shook hands and walked out the door, leaving them to figure it out.
Chaos: Before we even step foot on the stones I notice a boy probably about 10 to 12 talking to hubby… what is this all about.. so da da daaa here comes Chaos to… not really sure at this point but let see where this has gone… we don't want to walk up too aggressively, I mean he is a child… However, we have been to Egypt and Morocco. We know the children are pushed into being pushy with tourists because no one is mean to a strange unassuming child… yeah, sorry I'm not that personality…
Compass: But we were not in Egypt or Morocco.. we didn't know what to expect because we haven't really engaged with the children except for the stroller earlier that day but that really doesn't count, we knew how that was going to end as did the moment before the child said it..
Chaos: As we walked up we felt the vibes of the conversation before we heard words… relaxed, easy, non threatening, no sales… just curious conversation. Interesting… as we started to hear words, the boy was talking about Chicago and the United States.. he was fascinated by Chicago and its underground music rap scene. It was entertaining listening to the 11 year old talking underground rap with hubby who is more of og rap like NWA, Dr. Dre then, Snoop, Eazy E, Busta Rhymes.. for Transport we have always been Salt n Pepper Spinderilla type of girls.. until Dre and Snoop.. Chronic was the first Cd i ever had and it was a Christmas gift from our parents (dad really, no fucking away mom would have bought it).. that was a fucking awesome cd!
Compass: Side tracked.. almost finished stay with us please Chaos…
Chaos: Right, moment of nostalgia.. only having been listening for about two minutes the dad comes walking back to collect his son and stops to talk to us since his son is in the middle of Chicago's underground rap artists breakdown. The dad asked where we are from.. we tell him the states, u.s. and we ask him.. he says Serbia.. no shit.. we want to go.. he says he owns a house he rents as well and pulls up the houses outside camera phone.. it's snowing!! From what we could see it looked tucked back we didn't see a road just a dirt drive and tree line.. we thought of Vermont or New Hampshire. Now that dad and I were in deep conversation about his country and the family here just on holiday.. The next thing you know we have the teen daughter coming up trying now to pry her father and her brother away from the tourists while the rest of the family and the daughters boyfriend wait up a ways and watch.. momma should know better, never said teen to do a woman's job. Teen girls, don't scare us… the attitude drops with one stare..
Compass: She tried… dad ignored her as did her brother… she looked at Heather with a slight attitude and said we really have to go..
Chaos: I turned Heather's head… looked at this 16ish year old dead in the eye stayed silent until she saw me Chaos and then I had Heather smile… and turn right back to engage the conversation more.. with a very dramatic sigh as only a very frustrated not getting her way teen girl can do she walks away back to the rest of her family.. Dad and I exchanged Whatsapp for when our travels brings us full circle. After about another 5 minutes they sent the boyfriend in..
Compass: I don't know what look you had Heather give him but that boy did a slight curve in his walk and went to the other side of the dad not next to us… smart move.
Chaos: he was polite but firm with the dad that his wife was now getting irritated waiting. The dad said something in Serbian, waved his hand and off the boy went.. he rolled his eyes and said that he really should be going and when we are ready to come to Serbia to call him.. Damn right we will!! We told him to do the same, we don't have a rental but we can be their personal guides.
Compass: Dad gathered his son and headed up to the rest of the family where it looked like they both got a scolding from the rest of the party.. we know the division of the group… we had it in our family, but it was never the same two.. our family we mixed it up.. you never knew which two were going to get side tracked and piss off the other two..
Chaos: (ephiany moment) now I know why people have more than one… to keep an even keel. I prefer to bet on the odds! As we watched the daughter, her boyfriend and mom walk ahead of the father and son we knew they were in the dog house for a bit. Hope we were worth it to them, but that is their call, not ours.
Compass: we turn back to hubby and ask how did that all start?
Chaos: I believe Transports exact words were.. How the hell did you end up talking to a 11 year old about underground rap? Laughing hubby says.. He asked me if I was Muslim. (Laughing)... What! he asked if you were Muslim! .. I can't stop fucking laughing… okay.. did you ask him why he thought that? Hubby said no, I didn't want to scare the kid.. which only made me laugh even harder..
Compass: Leave Ryan alone… you're making me sound like Maryah and Rose. Why do you pick on him when you love him so much.
Chaos; oh that's easy… because I love him so much I can't have him getting complacent and I can't have Transport be love blind and mushy. He gives it just as good as he receives it… Hey now I wasn't even trying on that!! I am an all star at this.
Compass: let's move along shall we..
Chaos: Right our biker is now a Muslim.. (giggle).. extremely curious how this came about we naturally had hubby tells us what partook while in the agency acting like an adult.. see we do miss out.. this might give me FOMO. Hubby says that the kid came up to him and asked straight out of he was Muslim.. To which hubby advised no American and said that the kid just started talking about America and all the things that he loved about America..
Compass; Ryan asks Heather .. I wonder why the kid thought i was Muslim.. mind you he has raki now for blood..
Chaos: oh.. oh.. I can answer that!! Your beard… Hubby looks at us like we lost our fucking minds.. (laughing).. I love that look.. hubby says.. what.. Muslim men take great pride in their beards, it is a religious thing.. like Christians and their cross necklaces or Jewish faith and their yammakas.. hubby still just stares at us..
Compass: then Chaos says.. You should be proud… here is what I am going to say about this… be careful telling any American man that was an adult at the time of 9/11 with 4 raki’s surging through his body and mind that they should be proud to be considered Muslim is probably NOT a good move..
Chaos: Yeah well the blind hate needs stop.. you want to hate the people that planned, did recon, funded, helped 9/11 in any way by all means Im with you… but I will always stand toe to toe with anyone that is blindly stupid to think and spew that all Muslims are assholes. Came play with me I dare you!
Compass: No… it's not a challenge and besides dad taught you how to cheat..
Chaos: I don't need to cheat at a game of wits and instincts.. this isn't candyland or scrabble, uno, life,. monopoly.. a board game or cards. This is reality, people need to live in it with eyes wide the fuck open. Yeah it hurts, it sucks and sometimes it feels like you're getting your ass handed to you by a 7ft 400lb prickly pear bush.. it also has moments of absurdity, kindness, love, laughs and moments never forgotten.
Heather: I'm going to cut the voices off here for the sake of time… since chaos was all over today! (Sarcastic) thank you Chaos as usual..
Chaos; (happily) You can count on me girlfriend!
Heather: that's not how you … never mind you won't care anyway.. Ryan and I walked the old town looking for a place to have a few beers, most of the restaurants were filled out and in.. it was still Independence Day and everyone was out.. after walking back and forth down the same few roads we final found a table to finish off a day that I could never have planned for, all because we calculated, weighted and measured what was worth it to us in real time. Now, I'm sure some are wondering what happened with the rental car. The hotel didn't admit to seeing anything on camera so we didn't view the footage. We didn't take insurance on the rental, but we were never charged for damages when we returned it to the airport either.
This is where the memory ends for today. Now, comes my favorite time reflection.. on top of whatever you took away today we hope you also take this with you:
Your PII (Personal Identity Information) is your responsibility alone. Have tits, DON’T BE STUPID… You have to know who is using it and why. This is not just your social security number, passport number and credit card numbers but it is also your confirmation numbers, reservation numbers and your PNR number. When on your phone or computer using google wallet or apple pay, make sure you have high security not just the one that comes with the phone.
I can’t stress this hard, slow and powerful enough…. Connections are found in the unexpected, when shit goes side ways…. You have two choices… accept a failed vacation or experiences or understand this is an adventure not a vacation.
Learning a few words of the language is a MUST. I am a person that believes if you are going to visit or live in a foreign country you should have the human decency to learn a few words. I find a handful come in useful … Yes/No.. Thank You/Welcome… Hello/Goodbye .. the rest I really on senses, instincts and charades. We are animals we read body language, gestures, tone and pitch better than perfect words…That’s Life!
Being burned and/or broken doesn’t mean life or the game is over… it means that you get to take an eyes wide open look at everything including yourself. Then decide what you are going to do, what you are going throw away, what you are going to stand for and what you are willing to die for. Cackle through the burning and laugh threw the cracks. Laughter, is more than just medicine it is also can be a battle cry for life helping others cope dull the tone.
Expections….. Ahhhh… Dear Old Dad once again… I hear him now in my head and in my ears…. By having expectations you are setting yourself up for disappointment… Even after all these years, his voice that phrase every time I TRY to get upset about something not going right comes crashing down.. putting me in my humble place.. you're own fault stupid. You should have boundaries, lines in the sand,.hopes and dreams… but never expectations. You may come out of a new country getting more heartfelt hugs and kisses from strangers than some family.
Travel should never be called a vacation… it is not meant to be. It is meant to change you, to open your mind, your eyes, your spirit and look for you. Your resilience, instincts, wit, charm or lack thereof sometimes.. Travel is the Adventure of Life… not a vacation from, that's called a vegetative state.
Before I bring the voices back I want to set the public record straight about Albania. We”ve.seem people write they are put offish, cold, not friendly.. to those that say that.. I ask this… what did you do or what did you go in expecting? If you went in thinking it was going to be like every other over toured country where everyone is out to sell you bullshit with a smile, that's on you not the Albanians. If you acted like an arrogant, entitled Westerner that believe they were they for your vacation and the country should be like your own… again your own fault. Albania, her people,. country, history and culture are amazing and warm when you act correctly. This is a country that sisters would smile at each other while bugging each others house for the KGB. They don't go by the western standard of friendly… to be seen as a friend here you have to earn it by being honest, blunt and kind. That can be scary for Westerners because we hide behind illusions and masks.
I'm going to turn this flying circus back over to the ladies for their farewells.
COMPASS (calm, professional tone) On that note… we hope you enjoyed this episode of CompassChaos13.
Join us every Sunday at 1 p.m. Eastern, or 1300 hours for our fellow travelers in time zones unknown. Next stop: Honestly I am not sure what she has burned yet in the early hours so we will see what I can salvage but no matter what, you can bet we’ll be forging even more unforgettable connections.
CHAOS (excited, playful): Good Luck sifting through the ashes…. hey, the chaos? Always memorable.
COMPASS (mock patience): Listeners, help me out here — please engage with us.
CHAOS (interrupting, smirking): Compass please just stop!! That pleading really hasn’t been working so let’s try something else… Keep your shit to yourself. We will go on talking about us because we have plenty of stories going back to 1995 and we have plans on the books for the next two years to make more!! I think we have them nailed down.. So keep silent, we only need your ears and a finger. Sure you can use the middle one if you want to, go ahead, in fact I encourage it.. Then you can take that finger…
COMPASS: CHAOS!!
CHAOS: and put it right on the share as you post this and the finger to social media using the tag @compasschaos13 … Don’t forget the ONE .. THREE at the end kin.. Very important….if you want us to know what you're saying. If not, you can just talk ABOUT us not to us…. You love us or hate us, either way your talking baby.. Mauh!
COMPASS (cutting in, mock sigh) Please Stop. The show’s over. Kin, no matter what Chaos says we do want to hear from you. Tell us where you found the most human connection… the human hug & kiss from locals. I want to hear about it. (sound tired) I’m Compass — bringing the planned direction.
CHAOS (proudly): And I’m Chaos — bringing the unexpected!
CHAOS (in sync): Together, we make global connections.
HEATHER (narrator / flight attendant tone) Welcome back to the present. On behalf of your dueling hosts, Compass and Chaos, thank you for adventuring with CompassChaos13.
Before you stand, please make sure your pants are dry, your eyes are clear, and your snots are wiped — we don’t do refunds for emotional turbulence.
Some of what you heard today may sound unbelievable, but rest assured — it’s all true, and no one on this adventure is innocent.
For photos, travel tips and to read our blogs wander over towww.CompassChaos13.com.
Thank you for connecting with us today. We hope YOUR layover in OUR world brought a little curiosity, a bit of laughter, and a lot of connection.
This is CompassChaos13 — signing off.