KOTOR, MONTENEGRO: HUBBY STILL DOWN N OUT AND WE’RE STILL ALONE
Welcome to CompassChaos13: A Real Travel Podcast where Compass Plans, Chaos Rules - Connections Happen Memories of Global Adventures
HEATHER (V.O.): I’m Heather, your adventure narrator and warm body for the hosts for this flying circus.
Today's adventure is in Kotor, Montenegro with Hubby.
COMPASS: It started with a plan and a little hope..
CHAOS:
HEATHER (V.O.): Before we depart on this adventure, a few safety checks. First: any brand we mention is one we actually use and trust. We get zero monetary gain for these—if that ever changes, we promise total transparency. Second: this flight is for adults only. Expect questionable language and emotional turbulence. Finally, there are no warnings when the unexpected happens, because there are no warnings in real life…
HEATHER (V.O.): Now, let’s Meet your dueling hosts: Compass, the one who plans—and Chaos, the one who burns them. Together, they find the magic in the mess.
COMPASS (V.O.): I’m Compass. My plan is to experience the top tourist things. But, as usual, my head-space companion Chaos has other plans.
CHAOS: Hey Hey Chaos here! I am the patron saint of "we’ll figure it out,". I bring the unexpected, and the reason you want to hear travel tales.. that are actually worth listening to!
COMPASS (V.O.): Together, we bring the connection.
HEATHER (V.O.): Sit back, relax, and push that follow button……
CHAOS: "So, buckle up buttercups, because honestly the best stories aren't planned. Today's adventure is another from the 10 day Honeymoon Med. Cruise Nov of 2024.
Compass: this one is the day after Dubrovnik. In that episode we ended our day of adventuring alone by climbing into bed with an ill hubby.
Chaos: Now it's a new day, a new country which means new shenanigans!! What those shenanigans will be… I never know.
Compass: that is the truth.. you fake it till you make it…
CHAOS: That is the only lesson I have taken away from the adult world… just fake it everyone else does.. except your orgasms NEVER fake your orgasms ladies, your are only hurting yourself.. tell them what you want and if they don't listen or can't follow directions.. move on…
Compass: starting early today I see?
Chaos: Yeah, it's Friday.. The weekend is here and I'm feeling frisky baby!! But our listeners won't hear this till Sunday so hopefully it gives them some of that Fuck It… It's Friday Vibe back so they can throat punch the week!
Compass: You would think you had a bad week at work!! Someone told us they wanted to hit their head against a wall rather than ask us the same question to get the same answer again… You told him to go ahead!! And Heather actually wanted to see if he did it!! I still can't believe that happened!!
Chaos: [ innocently] WHAT! I didn't tell him to do it . I gave him the answer to his question, he said he would rather.. so I gave him permission.. it was a go ahead and watch what happens moment, adult style… sadly he didn't!! Would of been fucking entertaining! BEST PART… it’s self inflecting… he can't sue..
Compass: If he called your bluff…
Chaos: we would have fucking died of laughter.. Transport would have felt like offering her chair.
Heather: Voices really.. Come on, this is our happy space no work talk, even if it is entertaining.
Chaos: okay fine.. it was an entertaining work week.. I'm just gonna say Unicorns and Sprinkles… bring it on Sparkles!!
Compass: Why, for the love of the Goddess’ why!
Chaos: practice my dear Compass practice…
Compass: not asking… Here we are pulling into Kotor, Montenegro in the very early hours on the NCL Pearl. We got more sleep last night than we did the last two nights, enough to climb a mountain at least..
Chaos: the explosions seem to have slowed from hubby and he was more in fatigue status now since very little really had passed into his lips in the last 48 hours… Excited for this port I had us up at 6am for coffee and breakfast. But first I wanted to walk the outside deck without anyone around….
Compass: Taking a few laps around the top deck and winding our way back down, We headed to the restaurant where we had our breakfast. It was beautiful sailing up the small channel into the deep sheltered harbor surrounded by beautiful mountains that are dotted with homes and small wisps of smoke rising from them…
Chaos: if you squinted through the salted glass that had yet to be cleaned that day..
Compass: You act as though we had been through a storm and there were salted water spots all over that is not true.. just normal cruise salt watering.
Chaos: I preferred outside deck or balcony
Compass: No buffet the rest of the cruise remember.. The norovirus was still circulating..
Chaos: I missed my variety damn it!! 3 to 5 choices to choose from fuck kind a choice is that!! I select food based on smell not on words..
Compass: We had our breakfast and brought some rolls and bread with a pot of coffee back to our cabin for hubby..
CHAOS: Coffee was for us, we got him two glasses of ginger ale from the bar on the way back to the room.. those waitress years really paid off later in life!
Compass: Right, I'm impressed we balanced, pushed buttons and opened doors with all crap we had! Now back in our cabin, hubby still in bed, we put everything down as quietly as Chaos can!
Chaos: I tried every time I try to be quiet it never works.. just let me be for fuck sake!
Compass: I apologize to hubby for waking him up.. and we take our coffee and some of the rolls and jam we brought back out onto the balcony. We had time to kill before the first tender left.
Chaos: what we were doing was not on the cruise ship excursion list… but first we had to find the right entrance and watch out for scammers.
Compass: Yes this particular activity is very strenuous, not for people with any mobility issues at all and for golden age folks…
Chaos: Listen up old people… this is steep, this has loose rocks everywhere, where there are STAIRS they are cracked, broken, they are slippery. And where there are rock pavers those are loose and all the same conditions as the stairs. You make this climb at your own risk! 100% truth, it is worth the climb! One of my most memorable views so far..
COMPASS: As jagged as Chaos is, she is not wrong. This is not for people that are worried about tripping, breaking a hip, leg, ankle or arm. We almost rolled our ankle and I packed the hiking boots because because we were doing this, all three of us agreed on this one..
CHAOS: Actually it was all FOUR of us… but we had the only man in this flying circus down again!! As much as I Love him….. Honestly, it’s nice to not have to worry about anyone else having fun or enjoying themselves…. JUST TOTAL FUCKING FREEDOM in another country surroneded by people that English is not their first language…The only way I could be happier is if hubby untied his Chaos a bit more…
COMPASS: HEY… [giggling] You get him to come out and throw sand with you every once and awhile…. 2 weeks Roadtrip for a year anniversary and we ALL survived..
CHAOS: You mean really Transport & Ryan…. How that started, I really thought one of them was going out the hotel window before we even got to see Albania!
COMPASS: If anything Heather and I were more mad at ourselves for actually listening to hubby.. But another story another time…
CHAOS: Damn .. So we sat on the balcony drinking our rancid coffee watching the ship maneuver into an anchoring position which was pretty far up from the port.
COMPASS: You knew we were tendering into Kotor… This was not new information
CHAOS: No, it wasn't. I just wasn’t expecting to be anchored about 2 nautical miles from the entrance of the channel and 5 from the port… but we will get to the tender portion… both ends..
COMPASS: Watching the light brighten the valley we were wedged between we saw another cruise ship sailing up the channel..
CHAOS: And watch them go sailing further up out of sight….
COMPASS: We heard the sounds of boats in the distance …. Within a few minutes there were about 5 to 6 tender boats heading towards the ship…
CHAOS: Then faintly we hear ping… the announcement of shore excursions passengers first for the tenders and the independents are to wait to be called… looking at our phone, it was 7: 30…
COMPASS: We could wait… even with Chaos pushing us to move… to be one the first tender. I knew what she was doing.. She wants to test her scammer skills…. The place we were going only has an entry fee from 8am to 6pm… but the kicker is you have only 1 place to buy a ticket and several places to enter….. See where I am going with this…
CHAOS: I also knew that there are locals at all the entrances that the TOURSTIST know about asking for ticket stubs and if not they extort the cost of the ticket.. Now whether they work for anyone doubtful since they reuse the tickets.
COMPASS: Yeah… I couldn’t find any official site or information before going and when we got there, it was even less…. Just a turnpike, a small booth and two guys..
CHAOS: And lots of cats… don’t forget that cats…. They were all over that hut…
COMPASS: It was interesting… But we haven’t even made it off the ship yet, would you stop story jumping please… Not in a rush and no need to intentionally descend into other peoples madness… Heather and I vote to enjoy the balcony and rolls for a bit longer till we know the excursions are gone..
CHAOS: A bit longer….. It was another hour before we were hopping on the tender… THEN there was the twenty minute tender ride from the ship to the port. It took us ten minutes for the Holland America ship to come into view. I could wait for fucking land! Stick me on a life raft with other passengers coughing and sneezing without covering their mouths… and expect me NOT TO GO NUCLEAR!!
COMPASS: You did amazingly well… We made it off the tender without any incidents.
CHAOS: Finally, we jumped tender and hit solid ground running… only stopping to take a few photos of the city map, the neat welcome sign and the really fucking cool entry way with huge doors and old iron nails showing wealth and status. Really glad I got those pics! From there we wandered down a few alleys off the main square before Compass reminded me that we did have a mission… To make it to St. Johns Fortress… way up to the weeeee hill….
Compass: Being out voted once again we were going to find the main entrance without using our phone…. Why… I’m not the one to ask….
CHAOS: tuning… my dear Compass tuning… we are tuning our natural instincts, we are solidifying their correctness…. It’s just like how we know bullshit is coming, we have fine tuned our detective skills. Besides, where’s the adventure in a phone and don’t you hate the blue dot game? The phone is for after the adventure when you're home and are re-living it… not for when you're supposed to be making memories.
COMPASS: Valid points… It was 9am, it was warm for November, almost 65… I really didn’t want to climb in the afternoon heat… *Pro Vet Tip: Any strenuous activity always starts as early as possible and wear layers. By starting early you are beating the crowds, the heat and being one of the few or possibly the only person when you get to where you're final destination.
CHAOS: So it’s more of a convenience when you want it type deal then…
COMPASS: It’s using the tools at your disposal when necessary in order to save valuable limited time.
CHAOS: We didn’t find it necessary at this point in time.. So remembering from the research Compass was doing on google maps street view Transport and I knew that once we got to the main square we had to go to the the left north side of the square then walk down the road to the second to last alley….. From there we had to walk up a narrow alley where around a corner we stumbled upon a homeless person still sleeping on a mattress thrown in a nice protected corner of an old building..
COMPASS: This alley had a very distinctive smell of human and cat urine in the air… It was not tickling the senses the way I would like it so early in the am and so fresh after breakfast..
CHAOS: The cat piss smell was the worst! We walked further up trying to find a patch of fresh air that is not tainted with cat ammonia.. We came to the end of the alley and saw stairs in front us….. Hhhmmmmmm seemed to miss this part on google maps… okay feels like a good idea…
COMPASS: This time it was … Thankfully… we walked up the first few flights of stairs before coming to a landing overlooking a few second floor houses with a roofline to the right.. And to the left .. looking up… a mound switch backing and just directly above me to the left is a stone arch.. We walked up more flights of steps to another switch back. Now we are facing the arch. There are a few tourists there so we have the right spot…
COMPASS: Through the stone arch there is a turnstile entry with a booth off to the left. There is a man in the booth taking the money then there is a man at the turnstile letting you through and handing you a ticket…
CHAOS: It was interesting… I could see the racket… have the pay booth… go through the turn… hand them the ticket… what THEY DON’T TELL YOU IS YOU MUST RETURN THE TICKET….. READ YOUR TICKET IT SAYS ON YOUR TICKET!!
COMPASS: Yes, it is on the ticket.
CHAOS: Which means they reuse the tickets…. And double bonus if you lose the ticket, cause now you pay twice.
Compass: having paid 15 euro for the ticket we started our climb up the switch back path leading to the fortress.
Chaos: we climbed! We stumbled… we almost rolled our right ankle three times in three different spots… before even making it to the little chapel area about a quarter of the way up. We stopped a few times pulling over.. off the rambled stone switch back into the prickers and brush so a few older couples could stay along the worn narrow dirt path that was not part of the original access for better footing.
Compass: every time we stopped we would see people coming down and they would offer words of encouragement.. like almost there or you got this… or trust us it's worth the hike!
Chaos: they kept Transport and Compass’ morale up… I don't think they were prepared for the hiking grade for this climb. With every encouraging word from passers by it added fuel to desire to see this to the end.. even if we died from a heart attack!
Compass: Which we didn't!! Though there were a few times I shamed Transport for continuing to vape and smoke weed . Her lung capacity isn't what it used to be! We made it to the church about a quarter of the way up to the Fortress, where we sat and enjoyed the bird’s eye view of Kotor just below us and out in the sheltered harbor two ships… closest Holland America and furthest out looking tiny, our NCL ship.
Chaos: It looked like a floating bean, and the further we ascended the tinier the bean became…
COMPASS: Ship… moved on to food comparisons now did we?
Chaos: Gotta keep it fresh… As we sat enjoying what really is a post card view more people started to crowd the area and as we looked down the road we walked up more were coming!! AHHHHH MAKE IT STOP!! GO AWAY PEOPLE WE ARE HAVING SPIRITUAL MOMENT….. Why are you so fucking close to me…. Back the fuck off before we see if you can grow wings and fly, you jackass!
COMPASS: Chaos…. Hey…. CHAOS….. YOOOOUUUUUU WWWHHHOOOOOO… wanna come back to the present please….
CHAOS: I’m here…. This is a good time to tell people that if you see someone…anyone… a local, tourist… doesn’t matter, sitting quietly and just staring out into oblivion or has their eyes closed, face into the sun and a smile on their face….. DON’T GET WITHIN 10 FEET!! You are fucking up their re-charge with your tanited energy! While you are maneuvering to get the perfect selfie or postcard photo… the person that was there before you with no phone in hand, eyes closed and just being …. Doesn’t give a fuck about your social media personal or business…. What we do care about is our travel spirit and this is our re-charge so we don’t start doing bad things… very very bad things… Things that make the Spanish Inquisition, the Crusades and and all the World Wars and their nightmare side shows look like a Barnum & Bailey family fun day.
COMPASS: Breath…. In…… hold….. Out…… again….. Keep going… So as Chaos was trying to get Heather to pitch this person over edge, betting her that she doesn’t have her throwing arm from our pre-teen and teenage years…
CHAOS: I don’t think she could have thrown him to second base…. Hell we know she can still squat behind the plate to catch…. [innocently] Maybe she didn’t lose her throwing arm, there was only one way I could think of to confirm this theory….. By his build he was only about 10 more pounds than transport… so like throwing a sack of potatoes…. maybe to the pitcher's mound… I was willing to find out
COMPASS: Heather & I weren’t …. Having an MMA style cage match with Chaos, Heather made the right decision to just give the man a pity look instead of a I’m going to murder you look, get up, take a swig of water and start up the old switch back road once again.
CHAOS: I will admit with all that new rage she really kept a steady pace up the now steeper grades.. see goes to show homicidal rage can be put to good use!
Compass: we are not normalizing or justifying homicidal rage at all!! I think the news media, social media and the world governments do that perfectly fine without adding more oil to the cauldron.
Chaos: I'm just trying to show people that we all have those feelings whether you admit to yourself or not.. and it's on our logical, reasonable and human side that we need to figure out a way to turn it into productive positive energy… like what Transport did for us here… I'm full of rage and done with bs after all these years cause it's now getting to the point where people are drowning in it.
Compass: just another responsibility which I have been managing since preschool.. poor Katie, Sorry Katie. Bulling her over shoes during free play… you were a little asshole back then too
Chaos: I want what I want.. but the teachers punished me. We sat on the carpet and watched the other kids play and Katie ran around with the shoes..
Compass: served you right… every time and every punishment…
Chaos: I accept all with grace . Then I learned how to get around it, out of it, over it, under or through it… but the greatest lessons it taught was problem solving, creative thinking, weighing punishment for the crime and not to get caught! That usually means something went wrong somewhere.
Compass: Back to the story… As Heather strode up the ramp at a lively pace breathing deep, I tried to calm her and Chaos down. Our heart was pounding, it was starting to get hot so we were starting to glisten. I finally got them both to calm down enough to stop..
Chaos: it also helped that there wasn't a soul around once we started up the steeper ramps beyond the little church.. Most only get to the church before they decide it's too much and go back down. Not us baby!
Compass: That's right.. and our prize was a ruined fortress, three other people and a perfectly peaceful presence. But we aren't there yet.. we are about half up for this stop.. Here is where I'm thinking we may need medivac to come get Heather cause she just sprinted up the side of a mountain.. as she pulled her arms over her head to open up her airways we looked around taking in the view and the once again silence from the noise.
Chaos: it was pretty and after 10 mins of being and 5 snapping pics I was ready to keep moving.. I started kicking like she was a horse to make her go.. I forgot transport can be a jackass sometimes
Compass: she is also used to you kicking her as well so that didn't to you any good
Chaos: yes it did .. I felt better after…
Compass: oh brother .. After snapping a few more pics and taking in the moment one last time Chaos became too insufferable it was time to move.
Chaos: up we go… we were about three quarters of the way up when a couple coming down advised us that we were about 20 to 39 mins to the top but before we got to the Fortress there was a stone gateway and over it was a chiseled lion over entry… Cool! I wondered if it was from the Medic family of VENICE..
Compass: if you paid attention while I was researching you would know that Venici ruled this area for about 400 years but .. the original work was started under the Byzantinians and the Illyrians, the same people that ruled and called Albania home… Queen Teuta
Chaos: My pirate Queen!! Love that bitch.. she took no shit from the Greeks or the Romans…
Compass: she lost in the end ..
Chaos: True but sometimes it's not the winning that matters it's that fight that you gave it.. And she gave them a hell of a fight.
Compass: We made it to the Winged Lion Gate of St. Mark which yes is Venician, it was added at much later date.. We stood at the gate that marked the outer entrance to the fort.. just staring up at the Lion looking out over the landscape. It was difficult to tell if the lion had its paw on an open book or a closed book since the bottom was almost gone. Looks like it was an open book which would have meant it was built during a peaceful time within the Venetian Kingdom.
Chaos: As Compass and Heather stood in awe by carved stone,(snarky sarcastic ) honestly you would have thought this was their first time seeing carved stonework! I was busy making sure Transport checked her 6 every few minutes. We were the only people around for about a half a mile or so.. meaning anyone or anything, such as a mad bully goat, could attack at any moment unprovoked charging out of any of the overgrowth that is surrounding us! *Pro Vet Tip: ladies and men as well, but mainly ladies listen up! We are already on high alert every day because we are women. Our fight or flight activates as soon as we put on clothes in the am. When traveling alone your survival instincts should be on over drive. When traveling alone always make sure someone knows your itinerary and any last minute changes that you make. Even the ones on the fly because those are usually the ones where shit can go bad fast. I also highly recommend self defense or MMA defense classes.. There are some free good videos on YouTube which is a start but they can't tell you that your stance is off or if you're dropping your shoulders too much..
COMPASS: I concur with Chaos on this.. you can't travel if you're dead or taken hostage. Personal defense especially for a woman should be #1 priority for women. I'm gonna call out India here.. they have a program from the government where women police and army teach girls of all ages how to defend themselves!! I think that is fucking fantastic… Way to go India!!
Chaos: Those woman can use all the help they can get over there especially in the rural areas.. fucking disgusting men… bring back making unics. Not just for the Indian men that want to molested and rape girls and woman but for any man world wide.. yea that fucking includes you DASHA aka Isis.. Hamas and every other culture or nation that sees woman as less than human and equal.. fucking cut it all off anything that can be used to prode a woman on a man's body fucking take it and hanging out on the wall like hunters do with animal heads.. I mean technically these aren't men or humans, they don't treat others as such so I think the same care should be given..
Heather: Chaos!
Chaos: tell me I'm fucking wrong transport.. go ahead..
Heather: Whoa … check your feelings.. I'm not saying you're wrong but I am not the one you want to take it out on.
Compass: you could have said it better is what Heather is trying to say
Chaos: why? So I don't hurt feelings.. trust me those types don't have any,.. or because neither of you want us to be viewed as psychos.. that's a bit late in the overtime game don't you think! I'm just saying what every woman in the world is thinking.. you fucking touch a woman unwanted you get left with nothing but a toroso, eyes and a mouth.. no arms, legs, tongue, nose or ears .. you can never touch anything again. Oh and your family has to support you.
Compass: thought about this have you?
Chaos: there's more I can go deeper if you like with the daily operations for the crime.. remember the punishment must always out weigh the crime. If not then the crime is always worth the punishment.
Heather: no, I think that was enough descending into our dark untold depths. Already had to prove once within the last few months that we could hold our own when a road rager put his hands on us.. only bruising was Chaos’ ego cause we got thrown to the floor and held down..
Compass: Yeah but then you let cause take over… I was holding you back at first.. once we hit the ground and were pinned…
Chaos: da da da here I come to wreck his day!!
Heather: Okay.. now we are way off track .. I can't even see the ball park anymore..lets start walking back shall we… we haven’t even reached the Fortress ruins yet, for Goddess’ sake!
CHAOS: {upset} FINE!..... It’s not like Compass is going to allow the details out anyway since the statue of limitations hasn’t run out yet….. Protect the evidence until the statue runs out….. Right Compass?
COMPASS: Correct… glad you were paying attention in class..
CHAOS: Only when I think I may need a few Aces in the pocket, up the sleeves, shoes… bra… anywhere I can find a spot to put them! .. Yeaup there too…
COMPASS: Okay… so as Chaos kept our personal border secure Heather and I studied the stonework from the ground and then took a picture.
CHAOS: I am shocked it was only 1… I could have sworn a few were taken but only one comes up in the photos. Maybe you and transport need practice pushing buttons correctly!! I am always available for consultation.
Compass: No, it was only one… it was starting to push in the afternoon and Heather was getting hot… so we had to move if we wanted to explore the Fortress…. We started to come up to the different layers of the Fortress… As we looked to the left, there were all paths off into the different ruined rooms…
CHAOS: Some were pitch black… naturally we went in… Seemed to be a storage or armory it is now just a tagging place for bored drunk teens. We rambled along the crumbling walls of the outer layer of the Fortress.. Looking up there were still several layers beckoning to be explored. But when we turned to go back we noticed a little narrow path that led to a room filled with sunlight and a hole on the other side…. There was a tree that had grown just outside the hole …. Why it fascinated me, no idea but it did and I made transport follow our instincts…. We walked into the room.. Stopping to admire the scene and then taking a picture.. We walked through the hole in the wall past the tree…. Out to the right was a gorgeous view of the harbor and the valley below… to the right more stone walls rising up at least 8 to 10 feet, the parts that weren’t crumbling…
COMPASS: Chaos had us scrambling all over the ruins… into narrow overgrown staircases that haven’t seen a human touch in a few years, down every dark room or passage she could find and across some very questionable bridges, i use that term loosely…..
CHAOS: Hey… it was metal, so it was modern… It's not like it was wood or rope!
COMPASS: Last I checked metal that was colored red or brownish has questionable structural integrity.
Chaos: wouldn't be the first time we were hurt by rust metal . At least this time we were not in a pond when it happened!
Compass: truth.. When we got to the top of the fortress there were a few people, probably about three or four couples wandering around.
Chaos: don't forget the older local woman Zarania I think selling drinks in one of the ruined rooms… It was actually neat. She shifted a storage area to keep everything in so only once a month she and her husband and kids would bring up supplies… but she hiked up every morning. She didn't live in Kotor town, she actually lived in one of the houses out in the fields.. from what I could gather there was another secret path that she used which made it easier..
Compass: She actually ran us around showing us some could understand it was great! We didn't buy anything because we didn't need anything but we did give a few euros that we had just for taking time with us. She threw a few snacks at us and used the universal sign for eat.. then pointed to transport.. She even thinks we need to eat more!
Compass: Just stop! How about focusing on vaping and smoking instead of eating..
Chaos: I thought you liked our freedom…
Compass: we said goodbye to Zarania and finished the last part of the fortress. Finding a perfect spot with no people, warm sun, incredible view and the Montenegro Flag … yeap bliss…
Chaos: 15 minutes was all I was giving transport and compass… that was their prize for making it to the top with our cardiac episode. Cause next was the part I was looking forward to … the way down!!
Compass: Dear Goddess, how we came out of that without injury and all our teeth and face intact is amazing!! This jackass decides that now is a great time to have a second wind.
Chaos: actually this one is on you! You looked at the time it was almost 1 pm. Allboard was 4pm.. we still wanted lunch and a local beer . I wasn't leaving without trying the local beer after this hike… and on top of it you reminded transport and I that the tender ride was at least 20 to 30 minutes and would probably be packed for the 3pm.. so da da daaa. Let's see if we can fly!!
Compass: Three times I think we were.. I kept looking down at Heather's feet and they barely landed before bounding up again… then there was the sliding…
Chaos: I took the path less traveled… everyone stayed on the dirt path or the stone stairs.. no one was in the middle of the stone ramp… path of least resistance.. This was so much fun being a little kid just prancing down a loose highly dangerous stone ramp at 44.. then having to skid down one of the ramparts because it was nothing but loose gravel and when we hit from a prance we almost slid in our ass in front of several worried and shocked people. All the while Compass is having transport repeat OUT LOUD mind you, don't fall don't fall don't fall ..it'll hurt it'll hurt .. don't fall.. for 25 to 30 minutes all the way down ..
Compass: you didn't see the looks we were getting. People that were crazy and had a death wish. I saw it in their eyes as we pranced past like we were in a jungle gym. They thought they were going to see someone get hurt or die for not being careful!
Chaos: It would be our fault yes… accountability would have been accepted should anything happen but it didn't.
Compass: this time.. I think Heather needs to start taking the travel insurance just because of you. I think you're reverting back to our teenage years!
Chaos: Silly Compass… I never grew out of them! But I can switch from teen to toddler .. I just can't do the adult thing anymore .. that switch can't be fixed and then don't make replacements anymore for that part is too outdated. Work with what you got.
Compass: As we manage to get down the mountain without injury to us or anyone else and not causing any damage to the site itself.. We took a picture of our ticket and gave it back to the man that had given it to us.
Chaos: reward time!! Bring on beer…
Compass: first we wandered back through the alleys, not the same ones we came in through. We were back in the walled city I knew where the exit to the port is.. no need for the blue dot..
Chaos: we first came to a small piazza area a few streets back from the main square.. there were a few restaurants. Taking a seat at an empty one we waited…. And waited… and waited… we saw people go into the other take seats outside at the other restaurant and get drinks before we even saw anyone at ours…. So up we got and walked off… down a narrow alley….. Then our mouth started to water. I had transport follow our nose down the alley around the corner…. There to the left, a few locals standing up hanging out, all ages…. And hand fresh pizza!
COMPASS: Not my food of choice since I would prefer local foods, but with our stomach causing a scene and Chaos now refusing to leave without a fresh slice of hot cheese pizza, who am I to argue at this point.
CHAOS: I got my pizza, on the run! We were there just in time to get a slice of a new pie out of the oven…. Waiting a whole two minutes for the guy just behind the register to cut to and put on a paper plate for us we were off wondering the rest of the alley and detoured down a few narrow less crowded passages so we could eat our pizza without maneuvering too much.
COMPASS: Now that Chaos was almost sedated… she got her exploring in, her wandering out and her hot comfort pizza…. One last thing before I could round this kitten into the cradle for a ride back to the ship…. Her local beer.
CHAOS: The huge slice only lasted a whole 10 minutes… as soon as we hit the second passage with no one in it, the pizza was gone… It was nice to see trash bins around to throw out garbage. I can’t imagine summer though since they are small bins on posts…. All the tourists…. I can’t see that going over well in that small town with the locals. Another reason to travel shoulder or off season… you can see if it’s the locals that are leaving trash all over or if it really is the tourists… I have heard this place is dirty. There is garbage all over spilling out of the bins onto the road… We go to the same place during off season and find the opposite…. Maybe a few cigarette butts or nips … depending on the country.. Slovenia has no trash anywhere… not in the city, not in the woods… it was amazing but that is another story .. Damn we have a lot of stories!
COMPASS: And we have time to get to them for now… so lets finish this one so we can move on to the next… Shall we…
CHAOS: So back to the main square we ended up… We grabbed a seat at one of the many restaurants that faced into the alleys we just explored… though we missed some… so have to go back… but anyway.. This time a server came right over … I ordered a beer… Transport ordered a coke (yeah I don’t know about her, beer and soda, questionable choices, but who am I to judge) .. and Compass, she ordered olives, Tazaki with breads and cheeses…. The only thing missing was the grey pu pone!
COMPASS: You got pizza and your beer… Heather got her soda… I wasn’t going to be the only one not rewarded for the day's events!! After all I did find this hike and made the top the goal not just the church which most do! So yeah… I’m getting my reward DAMN IT…
CHAOS: [giggles] I am just showing the difference in the rewards that is all…. It’s not a combo that normals would do is all I am saying…
COMPASS: The food I ordered goes with both beverages… the beverage options are on you and Heather… I still had water left in the bottle from the ship that we just kept refilling. *Pro Tip: Buy a big plastic water bottle when off the ship, drink all the water in it… SAVE THE BOTTLE…. You are now going to use that bottle as your excursion bottle and refill it on the ship.
CHAOS: FYI… IT IS OK TO USE THAT WATER FROM YOUR STATEROOM… you don’t need to fill it up at the water station… I’m going to burst your mind fucked bubble here.. Ready.. IT’S ALL THE SAME!! We are on a ship, it all comes from the same tank of fresh water or desalinated water ….. All drinkable…. You are just giving the illusion by putting a box around and giving you a button to push that it comes from a competently separate tank!! So cute!! So I just saved you twenty minutes of standing in line, getting ready to throw the person with the 5 different travel mugs to fill over board and the whole mood for your day!! Your welcome!
COMPASS: Ummmm…. Are we teaching them or being condescending because the general public can’t figure these things out?
CHAOS: Both.. but I know you caught it Compass…. Is it if anyone else caught it and learned? Do you think I am in anyone’s head yet?? I mean besides Transport…
COMPASS: I hope not…. This world will get more interesting especially if people don’t know their compass…. Back to the story… We enjoyed the last hour and a half just sitting and being…. Heather had her phone away, there was no tech allowed here. It was the last hour in another incredible country and we were not going to ruin it with our nose in the phone posting our whereabouts to the world and wondering what others were up to. It was time to look up at the fortress that we conquered, explored and glided down without a scratch. Victory requires reflection.
CHAOS: Once the beer was gone it was time to walk to the pier to get to the tender to the ship…. We walked back through the doors to the city out to the main road that we had to cross to get to the pier…. [giggles] as soon as we stepped out we saw a line… it was a double line that was already outside the port boundaries for security and starting to wrap around onto the sidewalk….
COMPASS: I had Heather pull out her phone… 3pm… yeap… son of …. I knew this was going to happen….. The crush…. And by the looks of things, it was a slow process.. No way was 4pm all board going to be hit…. Not with a whole other ship in and only 4 tender points … two for each ship….. At 20 to 30 min tender rides and they couldn’t go more than 5 - 10 knots since it was a no wake zone…. Over to the end of the line we went…
CHAOS: That was fun!! We lined up because it was now a single line until you actually got into the port area then it split to Holland American double line (priority and standard tender lines) and NCL single line…. Wanna know a secret… On NCL we priority everything because of our latitudes status, but do we ever use it… NOPE, why, because are we really better than one else because we choose NCL only because their Itineraries are more often better than other lines.. No we are not.. The only thing we are loyal to is our travelers spirit.. And if a cruise line can offer a taste of more places without all these sea days trying to keep us trapped to buy shit, they and us will win every time…
COMPASS: Story.. Finish…
CHAOS: Right… in a single file line like cattle to the slaughter once again only to be turned into sardines in the can when we hit the tender but that was not for at least another hour. As we stood in line we started chatting with a couple that was in Holland America… As we made conversation and joked about the logical difficulties and possible failures of judgment in timing for two ships, others started to joke around within ear shot… I can’t remember any of the details but it was nothing shocking or overly dramatic.. Just the standard jokes to keep the morale up and others from killing each other… When we did make it into the port area where we could look back and see the view of the street…. [giggles] the end of the line was nowhere to be seen and the tours bus were now starting to drop off their passengers at the port opening only to be made to walk to the way back of the line…. At the split for NCL and Holland we said good bye and safe travels to our line friends and continued our jokes with our NCL line friends… we were on the tender at 4pm… we got on the gangplank at 430… yeah all board time blown… The ship didn’t pull out of port till close to 6pm.. Talk about mad, I could have had a few more hours to play!
COMPASS: No, that was not a gamble that I was willing to take… we walked through security again on the ship, Chaos asked the personnel how many were still unaccounted for…. The security personnel looked at us, smiled and shook their heads…. They were telling but the eyes said it…. We weren’t leaving any time soon…..
CHAOS: Yeah poor people, they have other jobs they have to get to and this throws their shit all off…. This just makes for a longer day for them.
COMPASS: But before Chaos would get her follow up questions out Heather moved along so not to hold up the line…. And it was time to get back to the stateroom to check on hubby.
CHAOS: When we got to the cabin we found hubby sitting up watching T.V. The balcony doors were open and the room was being aired….
COMPASS: Thank the goddess’ …. I could only keep it open a crack while he was sleeping all day cause I didn't want the outside maintenance crew disturbing him… but I also didn’t want sick air in the room either…
CHAOS: Oh we survived for at least three days with sick air…. Immunity my dear Compass immunity…
COMPASS: Stop with the sherlock holmes already….
CHAOS: Stop being stupid…. Simple fix
COMPASS: hubby was feeling better, he had said he even went up to grab something to eat and drink earlier…. So he would be trying to have dinner tonight, but not the buffet!!
CHAOS: For hubby… No shit Sherlock… for us… Well, it is what it is. So in the shower we jumped to wash all the dirt and sweat off from today's adventure exploring the Fortress and Kotor. Then on to dinner in the main dining room, limited choices again!!
Heather: Hello Global Kin, I am going to stop the voices there for today. I think we all had enough of their personal opinions on my personal life for one day, thanks ladies!
CHAOS: Anytime transport! Let me know when you want to go deeper… I only began to pick…
HEATHER: I’ll keep that in mind, thanks… Now, however, is my time. Reflection, here are some of the lessons we hope you took away from today's memory:
Internal rage is natural, how your channel could cause you and everyone else a serious problem… Channel wisely
Respect can be earned and given in simple non-verbal actions, but so can dis-respect. Know your immediate perimeter before getting a selfie, it could get you hurt.
When you have the sudden urge to act like a toddler, such as run down the side of a mountain, play in a stream or jump in a puddle as long as you are already prepped for shennigans…. Do it. No one said you had to kill your inner child when you became an adult. Just be ready to adult yourself when your inner child gets too rambunctious.
Use the travel industry for what it is a tool, a mode of transportation, a place to start your own research…. It should never be your end all be all….
Make human connections…. In a world that is becoming humanly disconnected we are all going to need it sooner rather than later.
When an opportunity to entertain people in order make them laugh and forget about being cattle or sardines for a short time, do it… even if it means making a fool of yourself, it will save the vibe of the line and control the mob mentality that wants to take over.
COMPASS (calm, professional tone) On that note… we hope you enjoyed this episode of CompassChaos13. Join us every Sunday at 1 p.m. Eastern, or 1300 hours for our fellow travelers in time zones unknown. Next memory: Santorini, Greece — still adventuring with hubby, and you can bet we’ll be forging even more unforgettable connections.
CHAOS (excited, playful) This one is interesting! I’m not sure if I caused it per say…. I know I contributed but I don’t think I started it …. The Global Kin can decide, though it really doesn’t matter, it was a memory not to forget anyway.
COMPASS (mock patience) Listeners, help me out here — please
CHAOS (interrupting, smirking) Compass please just stop!! That pleading really hasn’t been working so let’s try something else… Everyone KEEP your shit to yourself. We will go on talking about us because we have plenty of stories going back to 1995 and we have plans on the books for the next two years to make more, though they keep changing, which is fine, since it gives Compass less time to plan and more open time at the destination for ….. Well shennigans!! So keep silent, we only need your ears and one finger. Anyone you want, I’m not picky…. Sure you can use the middle one if you want to, go ahead. Then you can take that finger…
COMPASS: CHAOS!!
CHAOS: and put it right on the share as you post this and the finger to social media using the tag @compasschaos13 … Why cause you know you want to talk ABOUT us not to us…. You love us or hate us, either way your talking baby.. Mauh!
COMPASS (cutting in, mock sigh) Please Stop. The show’s over. Just get out!(sound tired) I’m Compass — bringing the planned direction.
CHAOS (proudly) And I’m Chaos — bringing the unexpected!
CHAOS (in sync) Together, we make global connections.
HEATHER (narrator / flight attendant tone) Welcome back to the present. On behalf of your dueling hosts, Compass and Chaos, thank you for adventuring with CompassChaos13.
Before you stand, please make sure your pants are dry, your eyes are clear, and your snots are wiped — we don’t do refunds for emotional turbulence.
Some of what you heard today may sound unbelievable, but rest assured — it’s all true, and no one on this adventure is innocent.
For photos, travel tips and to read our blogs wander over to www.CompassChaos13.com.
Thank you for connecting with us today. We hope YOUR layover in OUR world brought a little curiosity, a bit of laughter, and a lot of connection.
This is CompassChaos13 — signing off.