Rome, Italy: E-Bikes and the Appian Way Meltdown
Welcome to CompassChaos13(CC13): A Real Travel Podcast where Compass Plans, Chaos Rules - Connections Happen Memories of Global Adventures
HEATHER (V.O.): Ciao Bellas ….. I’m Heather, your adventure narrator and warm body for the hosts of this flying circus. Italian is one of the many languages I love…. Honestly, I haven’t heard one I don’t love! Today, we’re diving into Rome Italy, specifically the Apian Way, with Ryan our Hubby. Before we do we want to take this time to send a few special shout outs to some seriously committed CC13 Global Kin!
1st VIP SHOUT OUT TO our 6 Kin that became email subscribers on our website while we were still in production: (7 but we are not shouting out ourselves that just uncuth)
Willowhawk, snow,mgreenerose,dackers,tylaeigh, hathor
2nd VIP SHOUT OUT TO our 9 followers at the time this is recorded which is early Feb, so a month on the nose!
CHAOS: See Compass, you thought we would have none! Proves there are a least a few of us out there or they just like to listen to our antics
COMPASS: Your antics… Now let Heather finish.
CHAOS: She wasn’t finished?
Heather: No I wasn’t …. We have something very special in the works and if it can be pulled off correctly, this could lead to another series.
CHAOS: what do you mean correctly?
HEATHER: I mean we have to be selec—-tive…… you do know what that means
CHAOS: Sounds like I’m going to taught
HEATHER: Yes, just not right now. So stay updated by joining our mailing list, we only send out emails when it’s news worthy, cause honestly do you really need another email in your box?
CHAOS: Are you asking our Kin if their box is full? [starts laughing] That’s a bit personal don’t you think, transport? [still laughing]
COMPASS: You're such a child! We need to start this memory before this goes completely sideways
CHAOS: Fun Sucker….
HEATHER: LIke I mentioned before Today, we’re diving into Rome Italy, specifically the Apian Way, with Ryan our Hubby.
COMPASS: It started with a very vocalized and visual plan.
CHAOS: Then it turned into a hissy fit, wrong ways and lost jewerly….
HEATHER (V.O.): Before we depart on this adventure, a few safety checks. First: any brand we mention is one we actually use and trust. We get zero monetary gain for these—if that ever changes, we promise to be totally transparent.. Second: this flight is for adults only. There is questionable language, emotional turbulence and not subtle adult references. Finally, there are no warnings when the unexpected happens, because there are no warnings in real life…
HEATHER: Now, let’s meet your dueling hosts: Compass, the one who plans—and Chaos, the one who burns them. Together, they find the magic in the mess.
COMPASS: I’m Compass. My plan is as always to experience the top tourist things. But, as usual, my head-space companion Chaos has other plans.
CHAOS: Hey Hey Chaos here! I am the patron saint of "we’ll figure it out,". I bring the unexpected, and the reason you want to hear travel tales that are actually worth listening to!
COMPASS: Together, we bring the connection.
HEATHER: Sit back, relax, and push that subscribe button……
CHAOS: "So, buckle up buttercups, for this recent tale of biking the Appian Way in Rome……, because honestly the best stories aren't planned."
CHAOS: Let the Carnage Begin…..
Compass: There is no carnage… this time, thankfully. We also want to thank our Global Kin for your continuous support of this podcast.
CHAOS: She doesn’t only mean by listening… Thanks for the monetary donational support as well!! If you weren’t anonymous we’d give you a shout…. Hey Anonymous THANKS… You were our First [giggle].. Didn’t think I’d say that for awhile!!
COMPASS: Let me quickly set the scene before this episode gets hijacked by my sugared-up chipmunk of a companion…..
HEATHER: [warning voice] Compass … you both promised to try to not bait each other for 1 episode…
CHAOS: [defensive] Wait!? My prissy pomeranian co-host wasn’t paying me a complement… that was one of the nicest things she said about me…
COMPASS: We love to hate each other…. It works…. Back to setting the scene before I was rudely interrupted…. (pause ) .. nothing, to say now Heather? …. Apology … No?
CHAOS: ooohhhh [singing] Heather’s on Compass’s shit list…. You’re on her shit list… and Iii’mmm nooot… yet..
COMPASS: [giggles] okay Chaos… lets get back in focus I’ll deal with that later… Yes you can be there…
CHAOS: [Claps Happily]
COMPASS: So it’s the last day of a 10 day Honeymoon Cruise (Croatia Episode was another day) on NCL … Pro Tip: We do at minimum 1 pre night 1 post night… This particular cruise we did 2 and 2 the max allowed by NCL when booking their air promo.. With no rush to get off the ship we grabbed a coffee, headed back to our balcony and gazed at the river of people rushing back to their reality… By 9am the rush was now a drip… Our time had come to depart… We took one last look at our home for the last 10 days, rolled our bags off the ship and into Civitavecchia the current port for Rome.
CHAOS: [sad] Bye Bye Ship…. Next up the Eternal City…. Love that nickname… Riding in a taxi in Rome, USED to be an experience…. But now… boring…. 20 years ago nuts.. Granted we also have visited Egypt and Morocco … so far my top picks for driving… In those countries they call tapping someone a love bump…
COMPASS: We are in ITALY…. And we don’t compare countries to each other..
CHAOS: I know Cumquats to Cantolopes ….
COMPASS: AaaHhh Sure… We negotiated a rate with a driver to take us to the hotel… we made small talk with the driver but knowing no language. Other than our own, it was short lived…
CHAOS: I was told it wasn’t appropriate to play charades with the driver when he is driving… Fun wreckers… It would have made the game challenging.. The just over hour and half ride was a bit more exciting… especially in the traffic… & we would have another connection and memory….
COMPASS: Some things aren’t worth dying & even less so when it could hurt others… We decided as we normally do… by vote
CHAOS: That depends on the life you want…. Not necessarily me… anyway bouncing out free and I was itching to get to our next Life Adventure Goal #6
COMPASS: Unbearable is more like it… we go to the hotel, before the check in time, knowing they would hold the bags for us while we explore… there was 1 couple in front of us checking in… They were just asking for walking distances, metro’s taxi’s etc…. Normal things…. You went berserk …. The things you internally said were so horrid…..
CHAOS: I mean everyone has a brain attached to their hand… if they can Amazon they can google… So what’s the fucking point of having the internet if people still arnet’ going to use it?? … I can't get myself started… Nope done….
COMPASS: Happy Place… Go to your Happy Place…. That was an extremely filtered version on your outburst….. As we waited for the couple to finish Hubby and I looked around the Hotel….. Hotel Colosseum is gracefully decorated and had a bar off the lobby and down the small hallway past the elevator & stairs, was the breakfast area… When it was our turn the gentleman that checked us in was full of tips and insider information…. Squirreling away the tourist city may that he gave us and our bags secured at the hotel
CHAOS: FINALLY it was time for the Apian way!! But not before hitting the local market for water ..
COMPASS: Welcome back to the conversation… better now?
CHAOS: Oh yeah!! Fire soothes me……
COMPASS: What did you….. Never mind, have you ever thought about playing with water instead? …. Just glad that your happy
CHAOS: Finding a local market open on a Sunday morning in a dominant catholic city…. surrounding the Vatican was an adventure in itself…
CHAOS: We did find one … eventually… we walked the same block 2 times using google offline maps with just a little blue dot to show us and a location that was open… Hubby had no commentary for this round of follow the arrow….
COMPASS: True, but that good mood saved us when we arrived @ the bike rental near the Apian way. After grabbing what we needed @ the market .. we hailed a cab on the main street and out of the old city gate to the remaining original road of ancient Rome…
CHAOS: I’m not convinced that the change of mood was my fault…. We got to the bike rental Centro Servizi Appia Antica - EcoBike - Bike Rental https://www.ecobikeroma.it everything was fine…. They gave us a map, helped us with the E-Bike, Pro-TIP: At the very LEAST rent a mountain bike, you will thank us and so will your teeth…. We rented E-Mountain Bikes after 12 days of walking. I wasn't working any harder than necessary…. Now we were on our way… We crossed the busy road and biked a short way before…. [make it sound like “haha wipeout” danan nana] hahahaha meltdown…. [laughing]
COMPASS: It wasn’t that funny… Why don’t you tell everyone the bigger picture…
CHAOS: cause you give TMI, fairness I do also but only the things people wont say..
COMPASS: This could have been avoided if you just told hubby that we were BIKING the Appian Way when he asked what the plan was…
CHAOS: No….No…. No…. I can’t take full blame on this one, as much as I would like to… You want finger pointing…. You got it sister… Finger 1: Anyone says “plan” that is your department 100% …. Finger 2: When I filled in, I said, and I quote “the Appian Way’ … We talked about biking it and made him watch the Rick Steve’s Episode of Rick Steve’s biking the Appian way 15 times … EVERY TIME saying… that’s what we are going to do .. can’t wait to do that…. For 9 months, that is long enough to have another child…. It’s not like I am a subtle personality for fuck sake… Finger 3. I wasn’t going to have Heather stand there in silence with a stupid look on our face staring at hubby while you took a dumb… That’s 3 fingers’ … read between the lines Compass.
COMPASS: Whatever… 1 word to hubby he would have prepped differently that is all he was saying and me…
CHAOS: We got to a monastery and his adventure bag wouldn’t cooperate…. Apparently it kept slipping no matter how he tightened it, the bag would slip down to his side and hit his knee at the up pedal .. annoying the fuck out of him..
COMPASS: Heather & I knew better than to say anything…. Chaos on the other hand had her stick ..again… ready to start poking …
CHAOS: But these two had me on lock down….. For now. We watched as he fought with the back of the bike.. The clip and his bag were just not meshing…
COMPASS: He finally got it …. The last time we stopped… which was as soon as we got on the remains of the old ancient stone road…
CHAOS: One bump was all it took and all his hard work gone and the mumbling “I’m don with this” attitude came rushing back only this time it was projected at Compass [giggles]
COMPASS: He was…. Struggling so the nice thing would be, since we had our carpet bag with us, to hold his bag…..
CHAOS: Do you know nothing about our hubby? Have his wife hold his travel bag for him so he can ride a bike….[starts laughing] …. You should have just run at him with scissors screaming “I’m coming to get you Ballises!!” … Nothing like trying to take his manhood and in public… for shame Compass for shame….
COMPASS: Stop being ridiculous .. he was angry because you didn’t tell him we were biking before we left our stuff at the hotel…. Which were his words… he was also hungry…
CHAOS: Only after little mrs I wanna help everyone interjected… Anyway, hubby figured it out after a moment of silence…
COMPASS: Silence on the outside…. Let’s clarify here… you threw a major hissy fit yourself internally…
CHAOS: I may have been screaming some choice phrases in between.. [sarcastic question] What didn’t he get when we said the Appian Way …. We only had 10 to 20 conversations about this and how we were going to do it… I mean the only thing I have left was pictorials..
COMPASS: And that is one of many reasons why we have her on lockdown most of the time …
CHAOS: He’s a big boy and figured it out…. On we went…. After a few minutes hubby was in a good mood and we had been enjoying this whole experience… We were biking the original parts of the Appian Way… How could we not be happy…
COMPASS: It was great, except when we actually biked on the ancient cobblestone… there were huge gaps in between the larger ones..then you had to worry about ancient grooves made by wagons and chariots…
CHAOS: [ Laughing ] That was the best part… watching only 5-10 feet in front of us, having to make quick decisions and checking our reflexes…
COMPASS: Not to mention worry about losing teeth, breaking bones or a concussion….
CHAOS: At least you weren’t focused on cracking our hands open since we didn’t have helmets….
COMPASS: You opt’d out of the helmets… We continue biking, making several stops along the way… seeing the remains of Mausoleums and political advertisements set in marble… We came to a place on the way where we could see an Aqueduct in the short distance…. That was the one we wanted…
CHAOS: Finding it was a different story….. Compass pulled out the mpa… there it was .. there appeared to be a street…
COMPASS: Map or reality it was not a street we are used to…. It was more of a driveway that split… left said keep out… The right side had walls with vegetation growing up and villas behind them..
CHOAS: It was wild… we went down this road, which then turned into a dirt road with goats, dogs and chickens…
COMPASS: The only reason we knew we were going the right direction was because there was a bike tour group stopped in a field just to the left and in front of us..
CHAOS: We stopped, had a drink and took some pics…. When we went to focus back on the group so we could follow they were gone..
COMPASS: We got back on our bike and the dirt road looking for the bike group so we could follow to the aqueduct.. As we rode the dirt became asphalt again, very narrow with some questionable corners and hills..
CHAOS: That corner with the restaurant was nuts… we rode a few more minutes before we started gaining speed… heading down we could hear the sound of cars….
COMPASS: Thankfully the breaks worked…. We stopped at the intersection.. turned and warned hubby…
CHAOS: Something told us that we went the wrong way…. Back up we go….. Coming back around the corner to what we thought was a restaurant
COMPASS: Walking in we found signs posted in each direction.. Courts… Changing Rooms… Cafe… we headed to the cafe…
CHAOS: Walking up the path we saw men with large bags and shorts on…. As we took a table outside we noticed a few high fences.. It was not until we went in, ordered, and came back out did we realize it was a tennis club… [laughing]
COMPASS: We sat watching the members come in, get their rackets ready and take off for the closest fenced area…
CHAOS: the looks we got… the only other woman was the employee…
COMPASS: It was uncomfortable…
CHAOS: No it wasn’t…. Besides, hearing the back n forth of the balls on the court wasn’t peaceful….
Compass: Finishing our half of the sandwich, hubby and us headed back up the dirt road…. Chaos forcing Heather to slow down at the field where they last saw the bike group thinking she was going to find their tracks… ridiculous…
CHAOS: At least I tried…. But we couldn’t find anything but literal shit… we headed back onto the Appian Way… Still having time to explore we took the bikes further… Jumping off every once and a while to explore a ruin…
COMPASS: As we biked a bit further we were coming up to an intersection… Narrow road but busy with cars and buses flying by… we were only a few feet behind him as he was coming to a stop… we heard something metallic hit the stones and go bouncing..
CHAOS: Thinking he may have lost something from the bike we asked him if he heard the metal noise … he said no.. but not even 5 minutes later after crossing the road, he stops the bike short and yells “What the Fuck” .. Compass nearly jumps out of her metaphorical skin…
COMPASS: Big word..
CHAOS: I know a few…. We were enjoying the serenity … There were a total of 10 locals the whole time we were biking… Heather peddles to catch up…. We hear him muttering a string of phrases I was very familiar with..
COMPASS: Thank the Goddess’ no witness’ … when we asked what happened he advised us that he lost his new ring that he got while on the honeymoon… He was not happy…
CHAOS: Once again Compass to help…. Remembering how far back, roughly she heard the metal hit … she tells hubby to hold our bag and we will be right back… and has Heather turn to go back to the scene…
COMPASS: Look if we can be a hero for a change I am all for it… and at least I was trying…
CHAOS: Don’t smirk at me like that… Riding like a bat out of hell we got to the scene and started scouring the rocks and grass… After about 10 minutes I honestly gave up… It was nowhere to be seen… Until two older Italian men out for a walk stopped and asked us what we were looking for… at least I think .. we don’t speak Italian… I pointed to my finger with my other rings on them… they understood..
COMPASS: THose gentlemen spent about 5 minutes helping us look for that damn ring… still didn’t find it… bit of a sore spot..
CHAOS: Admitting defeat we got back on the bike to hubby with bad news…. Arguing over who is going to tell him the whole ride back..
COMPASS: I wasn’t arguing I simply said .. you give bad news best… direct and unfeeling… Heather already quelled the argument as he came into view… She was tactfully direct…
COMPASS CONT: He took it well.. We rode on for a bit more before coming to a busier intersection…. We decided to turn and head back to the rental place…
CHAOS: on the way back while Compass and Heather took their time and marvelled at the Italian scenery… I was bored…
COMPASS: My more balls than brains internal companion thought it a fantastic idea to hijack Heather so she could actually video tape on the cell phone part of the bike ride and parts of the ancient cobblestones…. Thankfully not actually riding over them this time …
CHAOS: Come on it was fun and we got film for a podcast we didn’t even know was going to be a thing …
COMPASS: Heather almost ran over a poor local man because you hijacked her..
CHAOS: Plenty of space… the ride back was faster, since Heather & Compass weren’t stopping every 50 feet… we made it back across the major road to the bike rental… Dropping the bikes now it was time to get a taxi….. Or so we thought…
COMPASS: Yea… that didn't go well and by the looks of the other two women that were sitting by the taxi area it wasn’t going to get better…
CHAOS: THere was the bus stop just across the street… which we waited twenty minutes for…
COMPASS: But it came.. We jumped on and rode it to what we thought was going to our stop…..
CHAOS: WRONG… It brought us to a transit area just inside the city walls…. Compass was on offline google maps pulling up that dam blue dot so we could walk to the hotel..
COMPASS: Someone had to.. Hubby beat us to it…. And made the decision that we were getting off the bus and transferring to a taxi..
CHAOS: Off the bus we go and over to the row of taxis …. Hubby took over negotiations before we could even get on the curb…
COMPASS: He was tired, hungry and spent all day biking with only a half sandwich for a snack… he wanted to get back to the hotel to shower and eat…
CHAOS: We made it back and he showerd….
COMPASS: and i looked for a restaurant for dinner… finding one that I know has things everyone will like, it was close and reasonably priced….. When hubby got out of the shower we told him..
CHAOS: We left our hotel and followed that blue dot to ART CAVOR restaurant for dinner.. Holy shit… best red sauce and Italian meatballs… and the handmade ravioli…. I NEED TO GO BACK….
COMPASS: Soon we will be back soon
HEATHER: EEEMMMM….. Heather intruding…. before we close the show and get you excited for next week’s… I am going to take the time to verbalize some lessons we learned…
Prepare your travel partner for everything… even if they are big boys &/or girls
Meltdowns will happen… 5 mins is all anyone is allowed for an adult meltdown (unless you planned the whole vacation then you get an extra 5 minutes)
The kindness of others doesn't always workout with the best possible outcome .. but that doesn’t make it any less kind…
Connections can be made through lucky and unlucky circumstances, our palate, eyes…really any and all senses can make an eternal connection.
I’m going to turn it back over to the ladies to say their till next time….
COMPASS (calm, professional tone) On that note… we hope you enjoyed this episode of CompassChaos13. Join us every Sunday at 1 p.m. Eastern, or 1300 hours for our fellow travelers in time zones unknown. Next stop Las Vegas, Nevada celebrating our baby girl’s 21st birthday, the CompassChaos13 way!
CHAOS (excited, playful) You keep calling her baby girl, you’re not going to make it to hear the episode drop! So this outta be fabolous!! I want to ask our listeners to pick our next REAL Travel vacation… I bet they send us to TImbuktu…. No Lake Titicocca …. no , no it’ll be Zanzibar … oohoooh… No No No….. Kin YOU REALLY WANT TO SEND US TO MONGOLIA… Listen to what I am saying…. You reallllllllllyyyyyyy want to see ME CHAOS drag Compass & Heather on an adventure throughout MONGOLIA….(sof). MONGOLIA….(softer) MONGOLIA…
COMPASS (mock patience) That is your idea on the table?….. It is not open for public discussion … yet… and don’t send our Kin subliminal messages, we are above that…
CHAOS: hahahah….. You're above it, Heather is above it….. ME, I am not… SHAMLESS remember…. If it gets me what I want without hurting anyone mentally, physically or emotionally … so be it.
COMPASS: Listeners, help me out here — please engage with us. Share your travel tales, lessons, and even your “what-was-I-thinking” moments. Tell us where you found connection through chaos — or where you just found chaos. We can help you find the humor….
CHAOS (interrupting, smirking) Or let me make it worse! I can make it worse… please…
COMPASS (cutting in, mock sigh) No…PLEASE STOP.. The show’s over. Head down on the desk until next time. I’m Compass — bringing the planned direction.
CHAOS (proudly) And I’m Chaos — bringing the unexpected!
COMPASS:Together, we make global connections.
HEATHER (narrator / flight attendant tone) Welcome back to the present. On behalf of your dueling hosts, Compass and Chaos, thank you for adventuring with CompassChaos13.
Before you stand, please make sure your pants are dry, your eyes are clear, and your snots are wiped — we don’t do refunds for emotional turbulence.
Some of what you heard today may sound unbelievable, but rest assured — it’s all true, and no one on this adventure is innocent.
Thank you for connecting with us today. We hope your layover in our world brought a little curiosity, a bit of laughter, and a lot of connection. You ARE TRULY APPRECIATED
For photos, travel tips and to read our blogs wander over to www.CompassChaos13.com.Follow the journey on your favorite podcast platform, or share your story with us via email: CompassChaos13@compasschaos13.com — because the world’s full of chaos, and we’d rather laugh through it together.
This is CompassChaos13 — signing off.