EGYPT, Valley of the Kings: Sesame Street, Shakedowns and King Tut
Welcome to CompassChaos13(CC13): A Real Travel Podcast where Compass Plans, Chaos Rules - Connections Happen Memories of Global Adventures
HEATHER (V.O.): I’m Heather, your adventure narrator and warm body for the hosts for this flying circus.
Today, we’re diving into Egypt, with our friend and fellow Collette employee at the time for a memory from the Valley of the Kings!
COMPASS: It started with a dream to see King Tut’s Tomb.
CHAOS: And ended with Us in an all out non-verbal fighting match with a vendor…
HEATHER (V.O.): Before we depart on this adventure, a few safety checks. First: any brand we mention is one we actually use and trust. We get zero monetary gain for these—if that ever changes, we promise total transparency. Second: this flight is for adults only. Expect questionable language and emotional turbulence. Finally, there are no warnings when the unexpected happens, because there are no warnings in real life…
HEATHER (V.O.): Let’s Meet your dueling hosts: Compass, the one who plans—and Chaos, the one who burns them. Together, they find the magic in the mess.
COMPASS (V.O.): I’m Compass. My plan was to experience the normal tourist things. But, as always, my head-space companion Chaos has other plans.
CHAOS: Hey Hey Chaos here! I am the patron saint of "we’ll figure it out,". I bring the unexpected, and the reason you want to hear travel tales that are actually worth listening to!
COMPASS (V.O.): Together, we bring the connection.
HEATHER (V.O.): Sit back, relax, and push that subscribe button…… Compass has been a bit frantic thinking Chaos scared everyone off… if you could just leave a comment below to let her know our Kin doesn’t scare easy… Greatly appreciated since neither I nor the world would survive without Compass…
CHAOS: "So, buckle up buttercups, for this recent tale of Fighting the Gauntlet in the Valley of the Kings……, because honestly the best stories aren't planned."
CHAOS Cont..: This adventure in Egypt, the home to our KA & BA… our very first glimpse of this indescribable country was through Sesame Street… (yeap I am 46 and it is still vivid in my mind) .. LOVE YOU BIG BIRD!
COMPASS: It was called “Don’t Eat the Pictures: Sesame Street at the Metropolitan Museum of Art…. came out in November of 1983, yeah I was just turning 4!! We were captivated by the weighing of the heart ceremony… Little did we know Egypt was going to be an ongoing obsession…
CHAOS: This memory comes a quarter of the way through our 12 day FAM tour with Collette VAcations…. Teaching moment here…. A FAM … doing the air quote thing.. In the travel industry it is know as a familiarization Tour… To experience places, vendors, hotels..etc.. to recommend a/k/a sell, after their experience.. Do not misunderstand my teaching moment, I am forever grateful and thankful to Collette Vacations (Dan Sulilven & Daughter Jacquline) for providing the opportunity for every employee to have these experiences….
CHAOS: We had boarded our Nile Cruise the day before in Luxor… that was an experience ….
COMPASS: Focus….
CHAOS: For another episode… Let me finish before you assume I am going to go off on a tangient..
COMPASS: I don’t assume…. I make educated guesses based on fact, history and experience…. Now get back to the memory before Heather mutes our mic…. She is in a mood today… It’s Sunday…. You know this is domestic duty day on top of making sure the podcast drops on time and still get ready for her 40….
CHAOS: Good point…. She knows I won’t be silenced but back to our memory…. Today’s tour was taking us to the Valley of the Kings… the resting place for the pharaohs of Egypt..
COMPASS: Somewhat correct… For over 500 years from about 6th century BC to about 11th century BC in order to protect their belongings for the afterlife from robbers they dug in the valley. It also was more cost effective than building large pyramids…
CHAOS: because back then you did take it with you…. the tour group made up of all the travel agents, as we jumped off the cattle mover….
COMPASS: bus..
CHAOS: We were handed our tickets for entry & pictures (sold separately) and began to walk to the tombs…. Before we could enjoy the desert scenery, seeing if we could spot undiscovered tomb by sight & instincts, we were met by an inside corridorrier… not long maybe about 200 to 300 feet or so
COMPASS: At this point early in the AM, props to Collette and Kaled, our guide for being the first tour group on site! It was eerily quiet….
PRO TIP: Always get to top attractions early, prior to opening to ensure you get in before it gets too packed… if not early later, either at lunch time 1230ish when most groups are leaving for or already at lunch.. Or the last hour and half the attraction is open…. Though the latter makes you feel rushed…
CHAOS: THe silence never lasts
COMPASS: EMMMMM, couldn’t agree more…… especially with you… Strolling through what would be gift shops in the very loosest way possible…..
CHAOS: You mean no sense at all whatsoever, unpolished truth a bunch of individual stalls and local merchants… no telling where one stopped and another began, but more about this later…
COMPASS: Emerging unscathed, this time, from the merchant gauntlet … spread out before us was a natural valley cut into limestone it was colorlessly breathtaking… and we internally sough out our subconscious for instinctual que’s . Hoping for flashes of our past live memories…. Sadly stop us from the continual scan, as we walked the main path towards our first tomb… Ramses IX
COMPASS: The tomb was beautifully decorated with scenes from the Book of the Dead…. The AncientRites for passing into the next world…. It contains enchantments for the soul to pass tests in the afterlife… Including the weighing of the heart incantation and speaking of Truths… In Ancient Egypt afterlife your heart held all your earthly deeds.. These were the most important of the tests when trying to enter the World of Osiris..
CHAOS: The real Judgement Day if you will….. Everyone has their Judgement Day… sound familiar?..
COMPASS: Chaos… this is not that episode…. You still haven’t convinced Heather or I that an episode where we focus on politics, religion and sex of travel is a good idea….
CHAOS: I won’t have to now… If the Global Kin wants an episode like that they will comment below and the choice is made for all 3 of us….. It’s not like you & Heather will tell the majority of the episode… Nope that would be all mine…[giggles]
COMPASS: Witch… you just set us up…
CHAOS: Yeah I did…. You’re not as clever as you think…. I had to prove that to the listeners…
COMPASS: Whatever…. While exploring Ramses IX tomb and taking pictures a gentleman started walking up and down the narrow corridor that has two way traffic asking tourists for their photo ticket….
CHAOS: The ones that didn’t have them the man would basically extort money from them… Still not sure if these guys, which were in every tomb, worked for the Egyptian Antiquities or not…. Highly doubtful
COMPASS: I would think that the head of the Egyptian Antiquities Council would prefer one of two things in regards to pictures in tombs… No pictures except with a professional photographer permit…. Or everyone pays a photo permit fee… That is just me as an amature preservationist….
CHAOS: After watching the ongoing extortion scenes the mafia could take a few non-violent pointers from these guys to get people to pay up….. They were good…. Until.. One decided to hone in on us….
CHAOS Cont: We were in one of the Seti’s Tombs, can’t remember which, as we are taking pictures of the long hallway that the funeral procession would have brought the body down, the man made eye contact with transport…
COMPASS: Just call her Heather…..
CHAOS: Nope …. He confidently walked up and asked for my photo ticket…. I showed it to him, as he looked at the ticket he shook his head and said “no” in better English than me…
COMPASS: Most Egyptians speak @ least 2-3 languages starting at a young age… Arabic 1st language naturally… then either English, French, German, Spanish Japanese, Mandarin, & Korean…. Which we learned from our tour guide Kaled….
CHAOS: He was so awesome….. He put up with my expected childish shennannigan’s for 12 whole days….. Goddess’ bless that man! .. Back to the extortion attempt… The man hands back the ticket shaking his head no…. And holds out his hand…. Palm up
COMPASS: At this point I am confused thinking we have handed him our admission ticket instead of the photo ticket….. Looking down it clearly states the photo… I showed the man the ticket and again pointed to the words on the ticket…. Not even looking at it, he just kept shaking his head saying “No”...
COMPASS CONT: My frustration was mounting… the feeling of being extorted does not sit well with me, Heather and especially Chaos…
CHAOS: [giggling] There are times where all I have to do is wait….. When Compass gets frustrated she asks me to “take care of it” …..
COMPASS: You’re making me sound like a Mob Boss and you the hitwoman….. Not a good look for us…
CHAOS: For you…. IDC about others opinions….. Frustration on the imminent rise, I know my time was moments asway…. One more heartfelt attempt by Compass to have the man see reason…… Which failed miserably…..
COMASS: My last attempt was maddening there was no reasoning…… So
CHAOS: Dd da dannna here I come to wreck your day….. Compass didn’t even have to ask, I had these guys pinned from the first extortion scene…. I waited silently until the guy made eye contact with us again, he had begun scanning the rest of the line for his next victim…. He finally looked us dead in the eye and said No with his palm still facing upwards…… That was his last “No” to us…. Heather’s energy shifted, and he felt it….. That spark that he saw another victim faded from his eyes….. I sent signals to every part of transports body advising we were going to be physically attacked….. The body grew 2 inches, shoulders snapped to attention, and our feet set in our kickboxing stance…. Physically and visually I was ready to “dance” with this Egyptian if another “NO” came out of his mouth one more time…. It appeared he had got the message, cause all I did was hold the ticket up to his face and pointed the word “photo”.... The only word that came out of transports mouth I would allow is “LA” .. this is the Egyptian equivalent to “DONE Negotiating, conversation is over”
COMPASS: It wasn’t just the word…. It was the tone of depravity that you used when saying it that sent chills down everyone's spine that was in earshot…. Including our government issued security guard….
CHAOS: He got the message loud and clear did he not??
COMPASS: Everyone did….. The guy, the security guard, the travel agents that were on tour with us and our co-workers….
CHAOS: Not everyone because we really had to step up as we walked back to the bus…
COMPASS: Let’s not jump ahead…. Cause that would mean we would omit our Life Adventure #3 Access to King Tut’s Tomb….
CHAOS: Actually I think it’s #5….. #1 Our daughter (unexpected but still counts), #2 Swim in the Nile #3 Engaged (another unexpected but still counts) #4 Getting to Egypt…. So #5 if we go in order of stories…. But this would be #11 just for Egypt Goals Alone…
COMPASS: I mis-spoke apologies, kin…. Life Adventure Goal #5, The sun calling us back to the land of the living we left Seit’s tomb behind. We intentionally sort out the end of the line .. fighting our natural instincts to step into the light….. There was so much to see, absorb and contemplate …. The hieroglyphs, the colors, the symbolism and meaning… we were in the resting places of the Rulers from an ancient power… Sacred spaces that were never to be disturbed leaving was not an option of mine….
CHAOS: It was like playing a tug of war against a bear…. You threw a hissy fit…. Not as bad as leaving King Tut’s Tomb…. That was a full blown 3 year old meltdown…. How Heather, see I can say her name, ever held it together…. You are a grown professional, the adult that hates faltering or doubting….. Stomping your feet, shaking your fists and making your roll…. Screaming I wont go… I won’t go…. I wish we could use internal cameras and be able to upload the images for the world to see….
COMPASS: Can’t some things be just between the 3 of us….. Don’t see me telling the world you had an emotional episode, snots, tears and all when we visited Dachau….
CHAOS: You're right, because I did…. That was the Feb. 1st episode, only two weeks ago…. Did you forget? Do you need prevogen?
COMPASS: No, and No…. I don’t like cleaning my clothes in public….
CHAOS: Good thing we are not doing laundry then….
COMPASS: Not what I meant… Thanks to Heather, she conveyed the deep emotional connection we all had in a way that kep your dignity & pride in tact….. So be very careful playing with me today Chaos…. I might just destroy your world….
HEATHER: Voices please….. 1 … just 1 story I would like to get through without an argument, snide remark or some sort of threat.. Be it physical, verbal, mental or emotional…… Maybe our Kin doesn’t appreciate it or maybe they are having the same internal battle…. I know you both work great together… Let’s keep going, we are almost @ the end…
CHAOS: We wrangled our 3 year old from the metaphorical floor and stepped into the blinding Egyptian sun…. Our sight came back and the transport's body temp rose as well….. It may have been April but it was HOT! We followed our shepherd Kaled….
COMPASS: Tour Guide……
CHAOS: He is one of the few men I would ever follow…… Therefore Shepherd, as long as we’re still that black sheep of the flock…. Which we were…. I’m good at being a sheep this time… As I was saying following our shepherd, Kaled, back to the main path we started making friends with our government security guard…sadly I can’t remember his name, but he was a fucking character… he had us laughing the whole tour about the shit he has seen & put up with…. This particular conversation was a soft friendly international one of How & where we learned to hold our own in a controlled manner….. Now as an adult anyway….
COMPASS: Our new friend was very amused with how we handled the photo police…. Dead in the eye, pointed to the ticket said LA and walked right down the corridor to catch up with the group daring the man to follow…. Which he did not…. Enthralled in our conversation we bumped into one of our co-workers when the group stopped before our final visit in the Valley of the Kings…
CHAOS: We bumped into our girl Rose, Love that bitch!!! HEY LADY!! Shocked, she turned around, looked at us and just laughed….. Knowing full well that on this tour she was going to have to make sure we came back home…. Once we got done laughing.. She brought to our attention that we were standing outside of King Tut’s Tomb…. We (Compass, Heather & I) went full on geek…… Now this isn’t the step pyramid or the Great Pyramid… but it is the most famous tomb in the world, thanks to Howard Carter…
COMPASS: Geeking out is a placid way of saying “we were freaking the fuck out” …. At the time we had been waiting 40 years to experience this in person…. Since brute honesty is the theme here, there were internal nuclear reactions. … Chaos & I were holding hands, jumping up and down on a king size bed with no adults around….. We were having a memorable cry laughing sister moment…..
CHAOS: Turns out the Universe disagrees with our pleasure…. Our shepherd walked up to our new friend and advised him not to let the other group jump ahead but leave room for the exciting tourists….. As the two were talking the other group's tour guide saw what he thought was a good opportunity to sneak his group of 40 by our group of 19…. Not on my watch after what I overheard….
COMPASS: This is where the pride I felt fell face first into camel dung…
CHAOS: Like an entitled American with no shame to care about, I forced transport to step right in front of the other tour guide and his herd of 40…
COMPASS: People…. Group of 40 people…
CHAOS: of course people….. Out we stepped out of line facing the guide and his group of people…. Dead locking eyes… the guide hesitated….. WE smiled, took a stop forward and nodded over to the right signalling the end of the line forms there…. FAFO was the vibe I had resonating from transport……
COMPASS: And the message was received by the whole group in that one simple step forward…. With the line formation lesson sorted out we stepped back into the line and stared our descent into the boy Pharaoh's tomb… It was plain and small compared to the other tombs we saw…. It appeared it was not designed for a Pharaoh at all..
CHAOS: The real treasure was the body anyway…. THe preservation of the human body was so amazing even though the process was done half ass according to ancient standards….. But a sudden death of a king so young will do that….. It was an experience for the senses….. The cool dank smell, touch of death on your skin, the dark shriveled leathery body with sunken holes for eyes staring life less into the void….. While whispers of the living radiate and bounce off the walls of the deceased eternal not so restful tomb…. I could almost visualize the boy rolling over to show is backside in defiance…
COMASS: Im sure this is not what the Pharaohs' had in mind when they wanted to be remembered forever….
CHAOS: Plus on one is bringing offerings…. We did….. We left food, water and a coin @ every temple, tomb and complex we went to…. I still hold respect and reverence for the ancient ones…. Lots of knowledge lost… or stolen and hidden but I’m not allowed to go there… YET!!
COMPASS: Our time to experience one of Egypt’s most famous treasures was fast closing and we were being herded out by the 40 deep overeager tour group behind us….
CHAOS: That was a nicer than how you put it in the moment…. [giggles]
COMPASS: In the moment my emotions were getting the best of me…. Thankfully my filter to Heather’s mouth is still in full operation….. So she and I could focus on you…
CHAOS: I didn’t ever notice until you stared swearing… I was lost in the mummy…. Our security friend was half way up the corridor exiting when we saw him turn to see if we were following….
COMPASS: He gave us a smile and a head-jerk like a brother would do to signal Ok, let’s go… catchup…
CHAOS: Yeah really bonded….. Wish I was better with names….. We will have to ask Rose, she usually remembers or writes it down….
COMPASS: We can ask again but last ime she couldn’t remember either…. I mean this was over 6 years ago…..
CHAOS: WOW!! Holy shit it feels like last year… We slowly caught up to our group…. But not after looking meticulously at as many hieroglyphs and figures as possible… Yeah we were “that” person… holding up the rest of the group from moving on to the next…. Piece of advice: always make friends with security… no matter where you go…
COMPASS: Especially if you share space with your own Chaos…
CHAOS: Valid point…. Stopping at a wide open holding pen for the tourists…. Nothing this time, okay…. I think Compass just checked out for a bit .. this was not her best experience…..
COMPASS: Taking the 5th
CHAOS: Really this….. You’re such a priss….
COMPASS: You're not baiting me so get on with the story or I will…. Promise you won’t like how I end it..
CHAOS: Kahled our guide advised that we had 30 minutes to shop before getting back on the bus…. No problem…. WRONG!! As we entered the once semi-peaceful corridor that we started from…. Vanished… all the stands that were closed now are full on flying monkey circus madness…. I have to set this scene to give it justice..
Picture it .. nod to the golden girls… A 300 foot corridor of small tent shops smashed into any space on either side of this narrow gauntlet of male dominated vendors and with a volatile mix of tourists…. Personal space, no touching were rules that never existed….. Once you take your first step into the gauntlet there is no going back….. One way in … One way out….. Through the fates of Merchandise we went….
CHAOS Cont: We would walk too close to a vendor and literally get pulled over…. This was not our first experience with this but that is another story for another time….
CHAOS CONT: As we were pulled in one direction, our eyes would make contact with another vendor, who would rush over and start over taking the other vendor….. Every time I made eye contact we got another…. A tug of war but in a uniquely friendly way…. I quickly realized that I could use this to my advantage if I could stay in the main area….. If I grabbed something I wanted, made eye contact with the surrounding vendors I could have some fun and get a good deal without screwing the locals…
COMPASS: OH IT WORKED! No thanks to Chaos’ brilliant plan to have some fun and honestly test our haggling skills….. We were suddenly surrounded by a circle of male vendors.. I don’t know where or how the vendors behind us got involved, there was no eye contact…. But they did…
COMPASS CONT: Now most women would be intimated and freaking out as mean gently grabbed at your arms and hands, budding you to come look at their wares….. I do have to say it was done respectfully….. Not that it mattered to our Chaos or Heather …. They were in their prime laughing, joking with the vendors…. To an outsider looking in, it would have looked like flirting, but this was all business…
CHAOS: The Epitome of this experience came as the bidding for a Goddess’ statue of Isis I wanted started getting really loud as the vendors started verbally fighting each other… The shouting from the vendors got so loud we had an audience and our security friend came running up like a knight in shining armor to save us from the horde…. It was so heartfelt and cute…
COMPASS: Another security person just trying to make it through another grinding day with Chaos… What is that, two now?
CHAOS: Not fair… 1st Cuba and those security guards locked on Mom not us…. You can hear that memory, it was our 1st full episode we released… 2nd he didn’t look too worried when we made eye contact while laughing hysterically, looking like the wicked witch releasing the monkeys on Dorothy and her friends…..
COMPASS: The look of relief appeared on his face…. You don’t know that look, Chaos….
CHAOS: with a single nod, he went to check on the others in the group..
COMPASS: Yeah and left me trying to control you, Heather and the circle of fighting vendors….. I was just looking for a way to escape a possible volatile situation…
CHAOS: Once again…. Overdramatic….. We did just fine…. We (Heather & I) chose our vendor purely on their ability to make us laugh, not the flattery and only 1 out of about 7 surrounding us got that honor… He showed me “his” statue.. Holding it up side down flipping it all side….. He said “See No in China” … he grabbed the same statue from another vendor's hand .. flipped it and said “China” … then went back to his “No China”.... We grabbed the two statues out of the man’s hands as the two vendors started arguing with each other…. That is when things heated up
CHAOS: I thought the vendors got loud before….. WOW, a vendor calling another vendor a fraud really cracks up the heat…. At least I think that is what was going on, honestly Arabic is a beautiful language but really hard for me to remember. We were only half paying attention …. Heather & I were too busy looking at the statues… they were the same… except @ the bottom where the stamp was supposed to be it was smoother to the touch then the rest of the base…… Clever Desert Fox….
COMPASS: Clever….. Questionable usage of the word…… He told us in so many words he filled and painted the stamp out…
CHAOS: A clever original….. It doesn’t come out exactly the same each time cause he is doing it by hand or someone is…. That is why we chose him, funny, clever and an honest-original fraud with a quick wit….. That statue is glued to our window sill…. As soon as we settled with our vendor of choice…. Poof….. Just like that regular madness once again…. The chaos was over as quickly as it started…
COMPASS: For about a whole ten minutes…. Walking towards the bus directly in the middle of the vendor gauntlet, Before we took 10 steps, we heard an unmistakable voice… one of our co-workers yelled “NO” … from behind us about 10-20 feet back…. Our new friend had been herding the group towards the bus… again we were that person…. Really any story that involves Egypt on this podcast…. We were always that person, never once were we not…. Heather & Chaos No shame lost in their own little world….. Me, embarrassed but one ever knows…. *PRO VET TIP: When exploring Arabic countries and you find yourself in a narrow market street filled to the hilt with vendors, stay to the middle if you can, don’t make eye contact or look directly at anything unless you want to start haggling…. If you happen to be caught looking at something or making eye contact, the best thing to do is a small smile, say LA and continue on.
CHAOS: Poor you….. Well we would have been second to last if we just minded or own ….….. We hear “NO” again only louder…. This time our friend was @ our side… he looked at us first confused…… then realized it wasn’t us yelling… I think for a brief millisecond worry flashed in his eyes….
COMPASS: It did…. He was expecting to rescue the vendors from us this time… only to realize it was someone else…. Then you had to open Heather’s mouth and tell him and I quote “I got this, go get the rest on the tour bus” Your’e going to have some explaining to do when hubby hears this story…
CHAOS: He better hear the story or there will be an inquisition…. There is no explaining what can be done about the past…. NOTHING…..
COMPASS: We’ll see how this goes….
CHAOS: Meanwhile back at the gauntlet, after relieving our friend of one duty to go ensure another, Kahled was at the front doing a head count…. We quickly walked.. Running was not possible…. To our co-workers…. Asking what the problem was… she advised that the vendor selling an item had agreed on one price but he took the money then he said she owned more and was refusing to accept anything less than the new price he wanted… Taking the same item off the table we asked her what the settled price was … she advised….
other vendors started to now surround us… we yelled out the price and asked for anytakers…. What do you know 4 vendors came forward with the same item at the price she wanted….. We looked at our co-worker and asked what she wanted to do….
Compass: The experience didn’t leave the best taste with her… so she said she wanted her money back from the vendor and just to get on the bus…
CHAOS: Compass always has leverage… she may not use it… thankfully she has me…. Sending out the internal signals for battle once again…. I hijacked transport… Locking eyes and taking two very determined steps forwarded I said the price that he originally said… as we slapped our hand…. The vendor humbled a bit, took my other hand with the statue and pushed it towards me saying “deal… is good”.... Another step forward, “LA” slapping my hand harder, and not breaking eye contact… feeling the blood hitting boiling point… the tension was broken when he realized he wasn’t getting anywhere and were really going to cause a scene very soon….
COMPASS: He gave her the money back… we put the item back on his table, smiled and walked back to the awaiting bus….
CHAOS: Where Kahled & our friend awaited our return. as we got on the bus our friend gave us a “well done” pat on the back as he entered after us and the doors closed…. On to the next adventure….Mortuary Temple of Hatshepsut. Which is of course another STORY!!
When people tell us we are full of shit, I’m going to tell them no, we are full of stories!
HEATHER: That our Global Kin is our story/memory for today…. Honestly I can’t wait to go back… only next time it will be a different method of touring… a bit more independent…We we hope you took away from today’s episode:
Have fun, respect the cultures but don’t get conn’d
It’s ok to be direct & stern…. Just don’t be an ass
Most important Find the direction within the madness
I want to personally thank you for encouraging my voices…. Hopefully soon we will hear from yours….. Mine are becoming difficult… Here are the ladies to say their so long’s
CHAOS: How many times do I have to say this… I AM NO LADY… NEVER HAVE BEEN, NEVER WILL BE
COMPASS (calm, professional tone) On that note… we hope you enjoyed this episode of CompassChaos13. Join us every Sunday at 1 p.m. Eastern, or 1300 hours for our fellow travelers in time zones unknown. Next stop: Rome, Italy — this time, we will be adventuring with Hubby, and you can bet we’ll be forging even more unforgettable connections.
CHAOS (excited, playful) Another fantastic one! I’ll be the one causing total mayhem after not properly preparing hubby for a bike ride — we still make it out alive. But hey, the chaos? Always memorable.
COMPASS (mock patience) Listeners, help me out here — please engage with us. Share your travel tales, lessons, and even your “what-was-I-thinking” moments. Tell us where you found connection through chaos — or where you just found chaos. We can help you find the humor….
CHAOS (interrupting, smirking) Or let me make it worse! You know I can make it worse.. Wanna see…
COMPASS (cutting in, mock sigh) No… just stop. The show’s over. Head down on the desk until next time. I’m Compass — bringing the planned direction.
CHAOS (proudly) And I’m Chaos — bringing the unexpected!
CHAOS Together, we make global connections.
HEATHER (narrator / flight attendant tone) Welcome back to the present. On behalf of your dueling hosts, Compass and Chaos, thank you for adventuring with CompassChaos13.
Before you stand, please make sure your pants are dry, your eyes are clear, and your snots are wiped — we don’t do refunds for emotional turbulence.
Some of what you heard today may sound unbelievable, but rest assured — it’s all true, and no one on this adventure is innocent.
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Thank you for connecting with us today. We hope your layover in our world brought a little curiosity, a little laughter, and a lot of connection. You ARE TRULY APPRECIATED
This is CompassChaos13 — signing off.