Gjirokaster Albania: GPS everyway but the right way
Welcome to CompassChaos13: A Real Travel Podcast where Compass Plans, Chaos Rules - Connections Happen Memories of Global Adventures
HEATHER (V.O.): I’m Heather, your adventure narrator and warm body for the hosts for this flying circus.
Today, we’re diving into Gjirokaster, Albania, with Hubby!
COMPASS: It started where we last left off on our Greece Bathroom Breakout Episode!
CHAOS: and ended with the hotel staff jumping in the backseat of the car to navigate the maze of narrow cobbled streets to get us to the hotel.
HEATHER (V.O.): Before we depart on this adventure, a few safety checks. First: any brand we mention is one we actually use and trust. We get zero monetary gain for these—if that ever changes, we promise total transparency. Second: this flight is for adults only. Expect questionable language and emotional turbulence. Finally, there are no warnings when the unexpected happens, because there are no warnings in real life…
HEATHER (V.O.): Now, let’s Meet your dueling hosts: Compass, the one who plans—and Chaos, the one who burns them. Together, they find the magic in the mess.
COMPASS (V.O.): I’m Compass. My plan is to experience the top tourist things. But, as usual, my head-space companion Chaos has other plans.
CHAOS: Hey Hey Chaos here! I am the patron saint of "we’ll figure it out,". I bring the unexpected, and the reason you want to hear travel tales.. that are actually worth listening to!
COMPASS (V.O.): Together, we bring the connection.
HEATHER (V.O.): Sit back, relax, and push that subscribe button……
CHAOS: "So, buckle up buttercups, for this recent tale from Albania……, because honestly the best stories aren't planned."
HEATHER: This is another story from the first official trip as CompassChaos13 LLC.
CHAOS: This week’s story picks up the second half of our Albania/Greece trip in November of 2025. If you missed last week's episode, well you're lost and I’m not the one to give you directions. I’m sure you can figure out where it is and listen. I have faith you're a big girl or boy….. After breaking out of the bathroom and seeing the Victory city that Octavious built after his victory over Cleopatra and Marc Anthony This is a special two unexpected’s happed and because they couldn’t be broken up we had to put them together.
COMPASS: We know our kin understands a lot but when you're involved who knows what is understood.
CHAOS: What does that mean? Actually I really don’t care… We left Nafpilon at about 10am, had our unexpected bathroom breakout and made our planned detour before stopping at the Albania/Greece Border.
COMPASS: From the museum of Nicopolis it was about 3 hours, I of course factored in human cushion once again, the drive pre google maps. I factored in traffic and a bathroom break but after the last bathroom adventure I vowed to hold it till I drown.. I no longer trusted Gas Station bathrooms in rural anywhere.
CHAOS: Overreaching as usual… Would you rather a bush again with an ancient view? but those are other stories for another time..
COMPASS: The drive from now Preveza, Greece to the Kakavia Greece/Albania order crossing was thankfully uneventful. Hubby and Heather were discussing this morning's antics and the collection at the museum. While she talked I enjoyed the views of the flood plains.
CHAOS: Thanks for saying flood…. I completely forgot that the GPS kept telling us that the route we were on was flooded from the rains and it was still raining… just not in my paradise…. Especially after seeing the signs for the detour now on the road….
COMPASS: Google maps had been advising the route may be disrupted due to floods.. We all agreed to take it anyway… it was a scenic detour… *PRO VET TIP: Scenic can mean many things in the travel world and mean something different to a vet that's been in the industry. In this case, scenic was seeing the flooded sheds on the fields, the raised burms, and the rundown barns … with little to no houses.
CHAOS: In other words nothing to see but water. After making it through the floods pretty dry we hit non-working road construction on a Friday. So that made everything interesting. For miles at any time the road would be too narrow for two way traffic thanks to the heavy equipment resting peacefully on the side of the road, abandoned by its handlers on a Friday mid-day…...
COMPASS: In order to keep head on collisions to a minimum they had mobile street lights in order to keep the two way traffic flowing on a way lane road about a mile or so apart… Then throw in the high water, that is almost touching the heavy equipment…. Now it was understood, it’s not just lunch…. It’s a water hazard not a work zone!
CHAOS: So after making it through.. flooded plains of Greece, non-active yet active road construction zone and one lane two way traffic thank the Goddess’ that the Greeks are better at reading their street lights than Americans, work zones we appeared to still be blessed by the adventure goddess…
CHAOS CONTINUE: With the late start, our am antics and not the first time where the people we are with want to leave us behind and those that we are being left with don’t want us…. If I cared about people’s perceptions of me, I would take this personally!
COMPASS: You should take it personally…. REALLY Chaos, you really should.
CHAOS: Once back on the highway we made up for some time, zooming right by the exit for Ionnianna where Compass had a planned stop for lunch and sights… Thanks to our late start, am antics and now floods, Compass was in no mood to go play in the rain even if it was more ancient ruins…. She doesn’t like the rain, she says she’ll melt.
COMPASS: I prefer not to get wet….
CHAOS: That explains a lot…. So are we telling hubby you no longer prefer to be wet or are we just going to let him figure it out? Remember Appian way, prepping, communication and all…..
COMPASS: Why….. Why is everything in the gutter with you
CHAOS: cause I’m a guttersnipe
COMPASS: No Chaos, you're an Asshole…
CHAOS: Isn’t that the expectation?! We have been told our whole 46 years on this earth that we are one… Truth be told, I don’t want to be one little area that is super tight and so focused on just one thing… I want to be the whole Ass…. the cheeks, the crack, the spicenter, the taint …. I am the whole shabang baby!! I just can’t sell myself that small…
COMPASS: [disgusted]... Oh, you're a whole something alright ….. Getting back to the story… As we approached the northwestern border of Greece & Albania I had all the documents necessary in our lap. I was prepared…
*PRO VET TIP: When doing a border crossing it is essential that you have all your documents you need for your rental car.
Always tell the car rental you are taking the car across borders. Most companies will have the terms, conditions and countries that advise which countries are accessible, a list is usually on their websites. Look in the long list of “TERMS & CONDITIONS” that is where everything hides because no one reads any of it.. (Helpful hint: when in that Terms & Conditions, control F, and type Border Crossing, then enter… it should highlight just those words) YOU STILL ARE REQUIRED BY LAW TO ADVISE THEM & GET WRITTEN CONSENT
Make sure they give you the written/type consent that should be on the company letterhead with all contact information for the rental company, Year, Make Model of vehicle and VIN and MUST BE SIGNED!! … Check that the paper given matches Registration before leaving the lot… IF NOT GET IT A CORRECTED ONE
Insurance: If you book your car rental at least a month prior advising the company that you will be crossing borders, so they can give you the Insurance Green Card. This evidences that this car is insured in the country/countries you will be driving in.
PASSPORT FOR EVERY PERSON and it is also helpful to have your VALID driver’s license and your International driving permit ready as well.
Customs: Customs entry requirements are based on the specific country/countries you will be visiting. GO directly to the countries Immigration and Customs website… The official websites most european ones will end with .gov and then the countries Abbreviation (for Example Germany .gov.DE for dutchland.. Albania is AL… Greece is GR)
The documents in my lap we drove up and got in line at the border at 3:36pm.. Yes this was November 28, 2025 I remember because it was the first or two days for Albania’s independence day Celebrations… I want to get there to experience the atmosphere. I thought to myself beautiful we will be at the hotel at about 4:15ish or so. We were only the 5th car in line… Easy Peesy!!
CHAOS: Da–Da–Da—Da— here Black Friday comes to wreck our day!! Man were you way the FUCK OFF!! I want to make a few things very clear here…. I say what comes to my mind, but when at Airport Security or Border Security, that is the only time my shenanigans stay controlled. Like I said before I have tits, I’m not stupid! I like my freedom… 2nd I had absolutely nothing to do with the shenanigans that went on at the border crossing…. And just because…. I want to know how many people think Black Friday is only an American thing?...... Well if you said I think that… You would be wrong just like us! Having no clue that Black Friday is a HUGE DEAL for Albanian’s, and that a day trip to Greece was a rite of passage on Black Friday for shopping. Which means when they come back to cross the border they are declaring everything they bought while in Greece. {start laughing] it was great..
COMPASS: NO, it wasn’t….. So two lanes, but only 1 person checking passports… an hour and a half gone…. It was a total of 8 cars in front of us… 5 directly in front of us, then three in the other lane that was open yet closed off further down… it was
CHAOS: It was my kind of organization!! NONE! I mean even the security people were getting pissed because of the shenniganes…. All I did was sit and enjoy the show, I wish I had milkduds! But wait ….. There’s more…. We aren’t in Albania yet… just in the one woman’s land…. Between countries, not Greece but not just Albania yet….
COMPASS: She is not lying…. We made it through passport security …. So no longer on Greece soil but not 100% on Albania soil yet either. This is what I call purgatory and this is where most people get in trouble…
CHAOS: Are you hinting at me?
COMPASS: [surprised herself] Believe it or not, I actually am not hinting or directing this at you…. You get your jokes out before we open the threshold and open the window or door.
CHAOS: So making it two feet into purgatory we came to another standstill. The hold up at security had cleared the 6 cars that were in front of us… Now with only two cars in front of us drivers were getting out of their cars looking around behind us. To the left in purgatory was a single woman behind a window and a security officer standing at the door of the building.
COMPASS: there was a short line at the window. Hubby got out of the car with all the documents while we stayed in the car with the door open in case we needed to jump out for passport inspection one more time… sometimes it happens, more often then I like to admit… but it happens. There were the 2 men from the two cars in front of us and two women directly at the window. In all fairness, we could not see what the hold up was with the two women. We could register that it was Black Friday 2025, we were in Greece heading into Albania…. Black Friday is an American thing, or so we thought. We watched as the two men standing in front of hubby now tried to push their papers into the window at the customs woman.
CHAOS: And the mayhem begins….. Still wish I had milkduds…
COMPASS: Hubby was fine, so what are you talking about?
CHAOS: Oh I’m not talking about hubby… I’m talking about everyone else including the collective us (you, Heather and me). As we sat in the car more men started to get out of their cars behind us and started crowding around hubby to push past him.
COMPASS: Hubby held his own… I don’t think loudly threatening to throat punch the men if they started to push hubby, was a wise move..
CHAOS: Why? The guys behind hubby looked at us half way out of the car with the Fuck Around and Find Out look raditaing off transports face, they got the point and backed up… then we see hubby turn around give the guys a look smile at us and turn back towards the window…
COMPASS: And every time the men forgot their place..there you were to remind them where you could put Heather’s fist or foot… through all the now open windows and passenger door.
CHAOS: [giggles] I love that look that men give a little woman with a big mouth….
COMPASS: Yes, I know that look … it says “what’s this skinny little 135 pound bitch gonna do”
CHAOS: No, not that one….. That’s normal, most people look at transport that way. It’s the look after that… when they look into transports eyes and actually see ME….. Just ME, not you Compass or the Transport the Human …. ME, laughing knowing I will get them and their little do too….
COMPASS: Oh, you mean the minute they realize this little thing has crazy in her waiting to be unleashed….
CHAOS: yea that look…. I like it when people see me!
COMPASS: Everyone wants to be seen and heard Chaos…. Shall we continue with the story..
CHAOS: So finely Border Security, I think, had enough…. THey said something to the guys behind hubby and they again backed off…. It was another 30 minutes before the two women walked away from the window with enough fucking documentation to deforest Romania for fuck sake…. And the kicker, we saw them get out of their car 3 or 4 cars back when we were in line for passport security and now they are walking back laughing like they just didn’t hold up a whole fucking line of cars, not just us but behind us as well because no could move forward and get out of anyone’s way because of these two ladies…
COMPASS: Breath….. In.. [Take deep breath]......Hold….2,3,4, and exhale [push out breath]... You are not wrong in pointing out that they cause a backup and a headache for others. However, I can’t fault them for being smart and knowing the ropes….plus these ladies were being pro-active… Had I known what I know about Black Friday now, this story would be me allowing you to run them down to get to the window first… But live and lessons learned. Now, keep in mind we still had no idea what was going on or why those ladies had the stack they did..
CHAOS: You noticed also!! Only 1 of them .. Dolly would give her a nod.
COMPASS: Wrong defination… Here use the Oxford one while I get us through the purgatory.. So, the next person steps up… a man, from the car in front of us steps to the window…. 15 minutes later that man gets into his car.. The next steps to the window.. More guys start to try to push in from all sides ……
CHAOS: Oxford Dictionary and I quote “Large number or quantity of something” …
COMPASS: Good Job…. but I was talking.. Before Chaos could give her warning to the new guys that walked up to join the …
CHAOS: Mayheim….. My voice was stolen by the now security guard at the door and a border security guard… they talked … one was madder than the other. I couldn’t understand the words… but I got the tone, the body language and drift when they both put their hands up in the air…. FUCK IT! I know that universal symbol anywhere….. They have found their limit…
COMPASS: Yeah…… still not sure how I felt about that whole….. Interaction…. But I was only watching from the outside….
CHAOS: Now who’s making things sound shady….. “Interaction” sounds like he bribed the border agents to speed things up…. If anyone would do that .. It SO WOULD BE ME WITHOUT SHAME… just don’t ask questions unless you want to become an accomplice. All we saw was border security go back over to the passport checkpoint area…. Then the custom security that was at the door walked up to hubby …..
COMPASS: I had a moment of panic…. He doesn’t know the language and if I am being honest, his international charades is getting better. And with Heather’s hearing going bad, I swear she needs her hearing checked..
CHAOS: She should probably get a general practitioner since she hasn’t been to one since Alyssa was born… But who am I to judge, I prefer not knowing and ignorance is bliss….. You can’t unsee what you have already seen…
COMPASS: Let’s get back to the story before you have a HIPPA violation. Hubby and security are talking… all we hear is BLACK FRIDAY in an Albania accent… hubby’s laugh and then reply’s NOPE… they both laugh…the next thing we see is the security guard wave is hand at hubby..
CHAOS: It took hubby about 9 seconds to process what was going on… Then we hear GOOD LUCK …. We watch as he turns out of line and back comes sliding into the drivers seat…. Remember, we are the third car in line at the gate to Albania….. Hubby is in the car… the guy in front of us is in his car ready…… Where is the guy that owns the car that is parked at the gate blocking everyone… He is the one that just stepped up to the window with his own stack. I like to ram down his throat….
*LIFE ADVENTURE GOAL .. Whatever # … Driving in every country doesn’t matter what we are on as long as I’m steering!!! Put the excel away, I don’t need to know what # it is, that is your thing…. I just know I am going to do it..
COMPASS: Chaos…. As we waited for the car that was parked in the lane blocking any way around for everyone else…. Ryan enlightened us and it went something like this:
Babe I don’t even fucking know…… the two woman had stacks of papers between the two of them. The woman at the window had to stamp everything twice… They only had one person….. Then I can guys trying to shove in… security said something to them they backed off… then the guy in the front all these fucking papers…. How I didn’t lose it I don’t know… Here Heather tells him that she knew and was happy that he didn’t….. Ryan continues… I think security had enough because I looked back and there was nothing but cars. Security said something in Albanian I didn’t understand… I told him English and he said something then BLACK FRIDAY… did I buy.. I told him no Black Friday vacation… then looked at the car papers and said ok..waved his hand…. Go…
CHAOS: So again my question: who the hell knows BLACK FRIDAY is huge in Greece and Albania… Really….. I leave my country to get the fuck out and expand …. I don’t want to be reminded of America in another country unless we are talking face to face over drinks and food!
COMPASS: We do Now…. *PRO EXPERIENCE TIP: Do not cross the border from Greece to Albania on Black Friday unless it is before noon time…IT will take at least 3 hours…OR use the truck lane unless you want to be chaised by customs but that is a different country and story… Now just because we passed immigration and customs like Chaos said we were stuck… We still were waiting for another 45 minutes….
CHAOS: FUCKING FINALLY….. All three of us are now in our cars ready at the gate…. All we needed was a buzzer and off we all would race….
COMPASS: Security finally opened the gate and it exuded out of purgatory… the GPS showed 30 minutes to the hotel…. Be there by 7:15pm … Okay…
CHAOS: LIES….. MORE LIES….. You know we have trust issues way before tom-tom was a thought…. Now this solidifies rely on nothing!!!
COMPASS: I half agree with you… we relied on google maps to get us to the hotel…
CHAOS: She completely missed the face that google maps was last there in 2016 when you could drive most in the old city…
COMPASS: Yes I missed a major detail.. I didn’t think that date google maps was there… I mess up and you were having a blast as we drove around Gjirokaster…
CHAOS: Drove around … I was loving the narrow two way roads with cars parked on both sides where only I can fit at a time and someone has to give… We went up to the Castle on one side … drove around the castle and then told to make a u turn cause it was a drop off area now for the castel… So it re-set then we followed the directions around the other side where I could see the hotel… The GPS wanted us to turn down some stairs and go through the Pedestrian Center….. [laughing] that would have been fun but we didn’t take the full insurance!!
*PRO VET TIP: Driving in Albania, I highly recommend taking the full insurance.. TRUST ME…. every car has a scrape on the fender, bumper, quarter panels…. The highways are beautiful… the rest of the roads in Albania, let’s say you would find better roads in New England, Rhode Island to be exact! Hey McGee, get your goon squad in line or we will have a woman do it…. Jackass’!
COMPASS: Chaos … story..
CHAOS: Just throwing it out there….. So where was I?
COMPASS: GPS and stairs…
CHAOS: [giggles] Right… So that was a NO… we went back down and every place it told us to turn was either blocked for pedestrians only or a car was parked in the middle of the teeny tiny roads… So we went up to the castle again… but this time not all the way.. We turned around as we came down the two way narrow road ..there was a horrid corner that when we went up was easy no one was trying to come down this hairpin turn.
COMPASS: That was awful. I was freaked out…. We have never been so close to cars and wall and people..... So glad we weren’t the ones driving..
CHAOS: Poor hubby!! Howe he didn’t yell @ you was fucking amazing… You huffing, ummmming… throwing out random words and sounds that weren’t even coherent… So glad Transport still has control of her ass muscles… or she would have shit her pants because of you… You can never just sit back and enjoy the antics that the universe gives us….. So sad sometimes Compass… So at there was a traffic cop at the corner standing off in the pedestrian zone only to help when people got stuck… or wouldn’t budge …. [giggles] … Hubby was so aggravated he pulls into a make shift space just off the corner and throws the car in park. Since this is Albania and parking in the old city is where you can fit it…. [giggles]
COMPASS: Don’t do it… I can feel the jokes….. Let them all go…..
CHAOS: [giggles] trying … so hard …[giggles].... isn’t that a reason why we said “We Do” …. What it’s not a joke!
COMPASS: My Goddess’s I can’t …. Nothing … nothing is sacred to you is it…
CHAOS: ummmmmmmm……. Nothing that is our story, no…. Too old… Lots to experience little time left…. [giggles] so he fit… ouch… I’m trying to hold it together, transport is not helping right now she is on the floor rolling…. I want to be her!
COMPASS: Oh no… she laughs because .. oh never mind…
CHAOS: Damn… so close [giggles] … Back to the story, Transport was trying to figure it out with Compass from google views, still not seeing the 2016 and we are in 2025! [giggles]... so much fun watching another milkdud moment.. While Hubby decided he was putting himself in a verbal and mental timeout… After about 5 minutes it was time to ask the traffic officer… With only 1 word of Albanian in our vocabulary that really won’t help us get directions until the conversation is done… Falmenderht… Thank you! SO, wild charades and hotel information on the phone… armed and ready! LETS GO
COMPASS: You and Heather HATE Google Translate…. Why? WE have an app, I downloaded it for a reason…. We have used it for our government job and it has come in handy to answer simple questions.
CHAOS: Where’s the fun and adventure in that … We somehow translated lost and showed him on the map the Hotel address we were trying to get to… He called the hotel for us told the woman at the desk what was going on. When he got off the phone all he said was okay… here… and put his hand out… then walked away..
COMPASS: Ahhhh…. Okay… translation … was a guess at best for me… Heather got back in the car, Ryan had taken himself out of time to know what was going on…Apparently Heather and Chaos knew exactly what that he meant but didn’t relay it to me… so when telling hubby it came out… I think he said stay here… he called the hotel that I know, and then said okay… here…
CHAOS: After about 3 minutes hubby’s response was should we wait… Yes… just stay here… we waited another 5-10 minutes long enough for hubby to get a bit snippy about just sitting and waiting. He was ready to back up and go back down towards the new part of town and find a hotel with easier access. As he is contemplating this out loud, a woman approaches the traffic cop and he points to us. She came over and we asked if we were leaving the car here and walking.
CHAOS: She goes to open the locked back door…. And then says No I’ll give you directions from the back.
CHAOS: We have a backseat driver folks!! As Literal as you can get without the steering and the pedals… [laughs]
COMPASS: Without her navigating and Ryan driving we would have never gotten there.
CHAOS: Let’s be honest, after being idle for 15 minutes I got bored after 5 minutes watching the corner of chaos. And we were all ready to google a hotel on the main road and stay there instead. With the assistance from our backseat driver we got to the hotel, Grand Kasmil 2, where we learned she was also front desk reception and check in! Naturally I had to ask “are you the only person on staff?” her reply was “yes” …. Now I had follow ups … “So how many times do you have to go get people?” She starts laughing, so more often than you are going to admit, she just said she had to get someone just about an hour ago.
COMPASS: I couldn’t imagine being the only staffer at a hotel at 9pm. She was it. Before she checked us in there was a couple waiting to do a pre-checkout…. And the front desk phone was ringing… As people walked through the door, she was also playing greeter and security. It was impressive to watch a solid work ethic and the state of cool she remained. I would have been irritated and showing… that is just too much work for one person.
CHAOS: I would have been using my poking stick if I was her….. Or worse… We got checked in and our new friend was also the porter as well. Unbelievable … I really hope this woman ends up owning the hotel or finding one of her own to operate or own. She was great. Her name I believe was Anastasia. She leads us to our first room. As she is trying to get the A/C to shut off and show us the heat it wouldn’t turn off. The system wouldn’t even shut down…. Hubby was already not the best of moods…. He was starting to voice his discontent. [giggles]
COMPASS: Yes he made it known he was not staying in a room where the A/C wouldn’t shut off when it was 45 degrees outside. Turning and facing our new friend we apologized giving her the I am so sorry I know this is not your fault look. She registered and just waved it off by shaking her head and a little hand wave. She took us back downstairs to find us another room.
CHAOS: You can’t leave out the bouncing of hubby’s suitcase off every step from the second floor. He was beyond hangry…… We had not eaten since breakfast, for a 170ish pound man that is just over 6’ ….. And its just pushing 9pm. There were snacks in the car but that was it… This was the longest drive of the entire two week road trip. He had already been dreading it since Compass had fore warned him. This is why you don’t forewarn him on somethings…. He is a fixator.
COMPASS: Don’t provoke hubby… our new friend brought us next door to Grand Hotel Kasmil, the original hotel. Up to the second floor we hiked. There are no elevators at either of these hotels. We knew this having done our research prior and planning to travel with only a personal bag and a carry on.
CHAOS: Yeah no reason for checked luggage anymore…. If you have a sink you can wash your clothes in the sink. You can wear your pants and shirts more than once if there are no stains, sweat or odors…. Plus, if you are in a city or a bigger town… more than likely there is a laundromat somewhere.
COMPASS: It all depends on value…. 70 to 150 for check baggage saves you two hours in the laundromat and more time exploring…. Or spending two hours with locals for the total cost of about $10 USD (pending the exchange rate for the country currency) and less crap to lug around.
HEATHER: Hey Kin, Heather cutting in…. Only you can make the best determination for your travel style. You have to figure out where your values lie. For this particular trip, we packed 7 days worth of clothes, but our bras and underwear we always pack the full amount of days plus a few extra pairs. We washed socks, underwear and a few pants in the sink before leaving Greece for Albania. *PRO VET TIP: When I travel internationally for a road trip the day I land and the day before I leave I stay at a chain 3 diamond or star hotel. Reason being, I know there will be plenty of hot water for a shower and heat.. There will be a/c and other amenities that after a long flight I look forward to. The night before our flight back home, I have learned to pay the hotel for the laundry to be serviced and I really love my hot showers before a 8 to 12 hour plane ride. I will let the voices get back to the story..
CHAOS: That was a change from her cutting in to yell at us…
COMPASS: you mean yell at you…. Now that we had a second floor room and all the HVAC system worked as it should and the view overlooked stone roofs which were incredible.
CHAOS: But it was time to get hubby food or we are gonna gear up for WWIII… Compass and Heather harshly reminded Ryan that it was not her fault that the system wasn’t working and taking it out on her was not a good idea.
COMPASS: I did.. And Heather did. These are the very people that we are talking about being KIND to not nice…. They can make or break your travels.
CHAOS: I thought the stairs stunt was going to put you and Heather over the edge. And then once we were locked in the room with hubby…… Yeah it was time to walk to blow off some serious steam for everyone. When hubby came out of his self induced bathroom time out, he had a place already mapped out.
COMPASS: Really more bathroom talk…. WHY?? What is this fascination…. Seriously?? Is it Freudian?
CHAOS: Freu…Freu…Freudian.. Sometimes yes Compass I am a fraud…. Fake it till you make it… isn’t that what we are doing now… pretending to know about podcasting, editing … hell even writing since neither you or transport will let me go freestyle…
COMPASS: If we let you completely free style, remember Heather and I have final edit, and then everyone’s Chaos went free style we would be living in the movie The Purge that never ends.
CHAOS: Oh Compass…. I’m glad you and transport still have your illusions. Besides I like talking shit, I’m a Shits-R-Us Kid. That is why transport has learned to hold her own against guys twice her size. Because daddy always said don’t have your mouth to write checks your ass can’t cash! So out comes hubby, and says he found a place….
COMPASS: Okay … we follow him letting him take the lead. He was ready, he had his phone out and he was hungry. Out we went playing our favorite game of Spot the Tourist or which way do we go.. Which way do we go… to find this restaurant… We walked up this alley with a few shops still open that had antique bass wares for cooking and making coffee, there were lace shops still open and a tourist gift shop but most had closed for what appeared to be the season.
CHAOS: I lingered at the antique brass wares…. I love me a good shiny!!
COMPASS: as hubby reminded us he was hungry we walked out of the alley and up the stairs to the main road that we had been lost on and where we spotted the hotel from hours ago…. Okay… So I know somewhat where we are. Still following hubby who was still following the blue dot we walked a bit more… Then he halted. Son of a bitch was all we heard…
CHAOS: [giggles] he missed the exit….. He thrusted the phone at transport and said where… she took the phone and navigated back to a very small opening for a staircase.. Handed hubby his phone back and said here…. Walking down the stairs and at the landing of about 10 stairs out 30 there was a shoot off just to the right with a small sign in a vacant and dark courtyard with a small light over a door and the restaurant he was looking for. All ready to go in transport is walking into the courtyard and we hear hubby.. I don’t think they're open … let’s try something else… so back up the stairs to the main road around the castle and back down a main pedestrian walk instead of the alley way, into the center of the old city, which was lined with Cold War Era military everything! It was all so breathtaking. I was actually enjoying standing in the center just looking around soaking it all in. We had many paths to choose from. Every street I looked down beckoned for exploration... Especially when the only language you hear is Albanian with an English word thrown in here or there because there is no translation for it otherwise… I really wanted to wander and tried to slow transport down…
COMPASS: [Exhausberated] We were hungry! And hubby had found another place nearby. I would have preferred to wander and read but … it was off to Libraria Restorant & Bar… I love Albania… they spell restaurant as is sound R E S T O R A N T.. I love it. I dragged Chaos along, but that didn’t make Heather rush any faster. Now trying to push Heather while dragging Chaos as she played dead dog… It was a no win but I was going to fight to the end and get a fucking cappuccino dam it! Sorry… lost my professionalism it was a bit of a soar point for me.
CHAOS: It was great I didn’t have to do anything… [laughs] … I have a question.. Am I a heavy voice? Do I need a diet? … Honestly I look at transport in the mirror, the bitch could eat more. She's like Cleo, our furry little missile… all bones and muscle, it’s kinda crazy … I mean her ribs stick out, her breast plate, and I can see where the tendons in her shoulders join… that can’t be natural!
HEATHER: Cutting again…. I was hoping for 1 episode where my issues.. Physical appearance, questionable mental stability and choices in my life are not made a side show.
CHAOS: I’m raising an imaginary glass … Here’s Hoping!
HEATHER: Here’s Hoping Chaos….. Here’s Hoping…It’s not your voice that is heavy Chaos, it's your energy that’s heavy when you refuse to cooperate and no I love you for you… just as I love Compass for her and all the others for who they are.
CHAOS: Yeah… Yeah….. But I am the one that annoys you the most.
HEATHER: That is a factual statement. You are the pain in my head and the burning in my depths. Let’s get back to the story. I can see the finish line. We are so close.
CHAOS: What can I say I saw ribs … slab some bbq on you and
COMPASS: Okay….. I mean Heather you are 5’7 135 pounds on your worst week it’s a bit…. Sickly looking
HEATHER: OH NO!! You two are not image shaming me, us … whatever. You're Just NOT!! You both can fuck off … I will take full control back.
CHAOS: Touchy .. .Touchy…
HEATHER: No, I…. LIIIKKEE MMEEEE…. The way I am. I may end up with only 1 regret in my whole life when I die.. And that’s letting you both host this and apparently anything goes.
COMPASS: Ok… Finish line…. GOAL…. Remember… You can punch it out in the ring like you both normally do.
CHAOS: Ever going to join us Compass.
HEATHER: She’s better than that ..
COMPASS: No, I just don’t need to prove myself to anyone anymore voice or flesh. Now hubby had google maps up and we were playing which way do we go .. which way do we go…again! honestly hate this game. We ended our little travel game with the blue dot and arrived at Libraria Restorant to cold to eat outside we steeped inside to warmth. I looked around as the server sat us at a table in front of the windows. I noticed lots of books, different varieties and a beautifully handcarved bookcase along the back wall. I immediately ordered a latte and scanned the menu. It all looked so good.
CHAOS: Now this was not tourist season, cause this was no tourist menu. How could we tell, cause only a few items had english. We settled on meatballs which were incredible, completely different than the ones in Italy last year. Let me tell you .. [giggles] those were some big balls… with just enough sauce over a steaming layer of white mush .. I don’t know what it was I don’t care it was fucking fantastic! Hubby had some sort of croquette served on something mushy not the same as mine, drizzled with olive oil & fresh green basil … the whole experience was an orgasm for the palate.
COMASS: Didn’t we get stuffed mushrooms as well… That were huge. Honestly they were the size of Heather’s fist… how do i know because yes she compared her fist to them when she got them. See sometimes it’s not just Chaos …
CHAOS: That’s RIGHT WE DID! Yeah transport did [giggles] .. see sometimes I don’t need to do anything. Those were fucking incredible also… I’m honestly trying to think if there was food we tried in Albania we didn’t like? Everything I can think of was from different countries… There's always one food we don’t like.
COMPASS: I really can’t think of any from Albania right now, but if we remember I’m sure you will make it known. We liked this restaurant so much we went back before we left the city just to have a cappuccino this time. Now that we had our fill it was approaching about 11pm.
CHAOS: I wanted to wander and it was my turn to fight to the death… the dimly lit alleys serenaded me …. I could feel transport wanting to do the same so there was no fight on that end…. It was hubby and Compass that could be the problem. Well, Compass definitely…. Hubby was up for a bit of wondering. SCORE! We led the way out of the restaurant away from the way we came…. Down to darkness away from the light…
COMPASS: I wish I could say she was lying but the further you got away from the small old city center the more homes and narrow streets with dark alleys and lights were sporadic at best.. I was on high alert… my mind was racing, waiting for the worst possible… looking for all exit strategies just in case …
CHAOS: Everyone only allowed transport and I to wander so far before it was … okay lets turn around and choose another path…. So walking back just before we got back to Libraria we hooked a left through a narrow alley with a few small wide stairs that came to a road that lead to the only road to our hotel! Son of a bitch!!! Shoulda turned left at Alberquerque…
COMPASS: That is all I need hubby to see was the hotel… He switched sides! DON’T YOU DARE CHAOS!! We will all get in trouble for that joke..
CHAOS: After being with us for 13 years….
COMPASS: Just let it go …
CHAOS: Let it go … Let it go … Let the storm rage on!!
COMPASS: One day we are going to get sued because of you and your choice of songs …. COPYRIGHT is a thing… it’s a big deal….
CHAOS: It’s only copyright if I sing it as they wrote it, composed it, in pitch and tone…. And we all know I am pitchy, tone deaf and words are only sacred in spells.
COMPASS: Back at the hotel….. We walked up to our room and slipped into bed.
CHAOS: No, it was time for marital activities. [giggles] We split the bed two and landed on hubby entangled in each other and the sheets …[laughs].... We were laughing so hard we couldn’t get up.
COMPASS: WHY??? Can’t we just assume that our listeners know it’s implied
CHAOS: That word again…. Pictorial’s please Compass for Goddess’s sake… and no we can’t assume… after 13 years of being together most couples wouldn’t think to make having sex in every country they travel to a Life Adventure Goal…. But we do! So there’s a goal for our traverls… have at and just us protection, be responsible!
COMPASS: I GIVE!! I’m going to put myself in a time out… Heather, you deal with the carnage on this one from hubby! Good luck, hopefully we will make it to the flip side.
HEATHER: AAAAHHHHH… Compass…. Compass… Shit, I’m really gone and I need her to talk my way out this one…
CHAOS: Come on I can bullshit better than Compass…..
HEATHER: Chaos, even your bullshit is as subtle as a hot lead pipe to the face. I’ll deal with it as I always do…. It is what it is… Speaking of which, it is time for my favorite time reflection. Albania and her people will always hold a special place in my heart and spirit. They, both the country and the people, have undergone so much and have remained open, friendly and hospitable. In all my travels I have yet to be received with so many hugs and kisses, like a new found family. As they move up on the tourist must see list and the up and coming lists… I just hope they keep the charm, the openness and family hospitality. What we hope you have taken away from this on top of what you yourself heard…
Always look at the year google maps was there!!!
Always have the phone and address of the hotel you are staying at the ready
Have Whatsapp for free calls, but only when you have WIFI or an E-SIM
Embrace the unexpected, you never know what you’ll learn or who you will meet
Black Friday is just as big in Greece & Albania as it is in the U.S. don’t cross the board on that day!
Never image shame anyone, even yourself! Sometimes you have to tell yourself to fuck off.
I really hope you enjoyed this memory of mine and can’t wait to bring you more stories from Albania, we have a few! In the meantime we have two blogs up already about her History and another about the Hospitality. The links for our blogs below. Without further Adu here are the ladies to say their so long’s ..
COMPASS (calm, professional tone) On that note… we hope you enjoyed this episode of CompassChaos13. Join us every Sunday at 1 p.m. Eastern, or 1300 hours for our fellow travelers in time zones unknown. Next stop: Portugal — this time, we will be adventuring with MOM and you can bet we’ll be forging even more unforgettable connections.
CHAOS (excited, playful) I love me, a good Deliverance scene…. [Banjo Music vocal] Da nana nana! The GPS will be the one causing total mayhem…We managed to make it out alive. But hey, the chaos? Always memorable.
COMPASS (mock patience) Listeners, help me out here — please engage with us.
CHAOS (interrupting, smirking) Compass please just stop!! That pleading really hasn’t been working so let’s try something else… Keep your shit to yourself. We will go on talking about us because we have plenty of stories going back to 1995 and we have plans on the books for the next two years to make more!! So keep silent, we only need your ears and a finger. Sure you can use the middle one if you want to, go ahead. Then you can take that finger…
COMPASS: CHAOS!!
CHAOS: and put it right on the share as you post this and the finger to social media using the tag @compasschaos13 … Why cause you know you want to talk ABOUT us not to us…. You love us or hate us, either way your talking baby.. Mauh!
COMPASS (cutting in, mock sigh) Please Stop. The show’s over. Just get out!(sound tired) I’m Compass — bringing the planned direction.
CHAOS (proudly) And I’m Chaos — bringing the unexpected!
CHAOS (in sync) Together, we make global connections.
HEATHER (narrator / flight attendant tone) Welcome back to the present. On behalf of your dueling hosts, Compass and Chaos, thank you for adventuring with CompassChaos13.
Before you stand, please make sure your pants are dry, your eyes are clear, and your snots are wiped — we don’t do refunds for emotional turbulence.
Some of what you heard today may sound unbelievable, but rest assured — it’s all true, and no one on this adventure is innocent.
For photos, travel tips and to read our blogs wander over to www.CompassChaos13.com.Thank you for connecting with us today. We hope YOUR layover in OUR world brought a little curiosity, a bit of laughter, and a lot of connection.
This is CompassChaos13 — signing off.