Amsterdam 2001: From Coffee Shops to a Failed Diamond Proposal
This is CompassChaos13: A Real Travel Podcast where Compass Plans, Chaos Rules - Connections Happen Memories of Global Adventures
HEATHER (V.O.): I’m Heather, your adventure narrator and warm body for the hosts for this flying circus. Today we are remembering Amsterdam!
Compass: Can’t some things just stay in the past? Why do we have to tell all our stories…
Chaos: Come on this is a good one…. Who doesn’t want to hear about an ex who happened to be a cop at the time, that smoked weed, did mushrooms and had no clue how to handle Transport let alone propose to her…. Thee Best part was he was legally able to conceal his weapon. (Laughing).. I questioned how he fooled the shrinks…
Compass: REALLY!!
Chaos: I was talking about his police issued weapon… get your mind out of the gutter.
HEATHER (V.O.): Before we depart on this adventure, a few safety checks. First: any brand we mention is one we actually use and trust. We get zero monetary gain for these—if that ever changes, we promise total transparency. Second: this flight is for adults only. Expect questionable language, not so subtle adult references ( which have already begun I hear) and emotional turbulence. Finally, there are no warnings when the unexpected happens, because there are no warnings in real life… Now, let’s Meet your dueling hosts: Compass, the one who plans—and Chaos, the one who burns them. Together, they find the magic in the mess.
COMPASS (V.O.): I’m Compass. My plan is to experience the top tourist things. But, as usual, my head-space companion Chaos has other plans.
CHAOS: Hey Hey Chaos here! I am the patron saint of "we’ll figure it out,". I bring the unexpected, and the reason you want to hear travel tales.. that are actually worth listening to!
COMPASS (V.O.): Together, we bring the connection.
HEATHER (V.O.): Sit back, relax, and push that follow button……
CHAOS: So, buckle up buttercups, for this recent tale of back on bong, diamonds and unknown proposals because honestly the best stories aren't planned. Now usually this is where Compass would jump in and give her run down of the plan…. This memory goes back to 2001… before boyo, before our daughter and before Compass broke her chains….
Compass: Yes you still had me tethered, but you used me to plan this one as well.
Chaos: Let’s give some back story shall we…. You like back stories don’t you Compass
Compass: I have a feeling I am not going to like this back story…
Chaos: In 2001 we were dating a cop… not our first but definitely our last…
Compass: Don’t do it…. No need to give the reasons why, just keep with the facts that pertain to this memory please…
Chaos: Well, before getting serious with anyone regardless of how long we have been dating, an international trip is a requirement of ours. So the first attempt was Hedinisoum in Negril Jamaica but he pussied out, claiming that he couldn’t get the time off… when we knew full well that he could but that he didn’t ask within the union time frame on purpose… he wasn't the only cop on his force we knew but that was our….. yeah we know a few people secret, that will never come out… It also helped working at a strip club as a waitress and bartender through college… Damn I thought women gossiped…. Grown ass men sooo much worse!! Transport got to make lots of connections, pay most of her way through UMASS at 25k a year just for tuition, have her own apt, travel … all just to serve men overpriced beer while they watched a woman show her vj for a buck…. Listen my strippers, if you're going to make your pussy for public viewing at least price it out at the cost of a yearly subscription… it should be high end pay per view not public broadcasting asking for donations!!
Compass: I was always so.proud of you for that… you've had Heather do a lot of stupid and fucked up shit …. But strip for anything less than 3 mill with taxes paid on top of that…
Chaos: obviously we've never stripped since we never had millions… but back to the story… So we went to Jamaica and stayed at Hedimisom anyway with one of our girlfriends, Windsong (yes that is her name and she owns a club she is an amazing fucking person!) but that is another story… So we were giving him one last chance to travel with us…. Amsterdam was the destination… come to think of it, he was the one that got us back into smoking weed full time after a 7 year reprive…. Back on the bong we go, but we aren’t there yet.
Compass: True… and Heather has only taken one other hiatus since….
Chaos: That’s because you got loose and need to be sedated every once an a while. With Amsterdam being the destination the tickets booked, a no was not going to be acceptablbe…. He got the hint…
Compass: back in 2001 the roundtrip cost to Amsterdam from Boston was 500 per person… I found a Holiday inn on the outskirts of the city near a peaceful park and public transit. I had also planned for the Black Forest and a trip out to the windmills…
Chaos: Yes well, this was our first time in Europe… I had many plans. None of which happened the whole week we were there… but this story comes on the second to last day of what turned out to be a week up in smoke Cheech and Chong highlight of all the cafe’s… This day was all the ex’s doing…. I believe this was the day after we had tried mushrooms for the first time and ended up in bed in the hotel room sick because Compass couldn’t get it out of her head that she just ate cow shit…. [laughing]
Compass: It was not funny, it was gross… the more I though about where to find these mushrooms the sicker I became….. the taste…. NOPE..Nightie night….
Chaos: See…. So up early we hit breakfast not seeing any sign of our friends that we made on the first day… one of the girls' names was Isis…. That was awesome, we talked about Ancient Egypt for 30 minutes outside the hotel on the first day while smoking…. Pissing off the ex right away….. This was going to be a long trip! No friends, just us and the ex…. Off to the transit we walked.
Compass: I enjoyed the walks to the transit in the am…. The park that we walked through was peaceful and still green even though it was November and cloudy.
Chaos: The grey sky did give the park a nice green color and the houses of the city a brighter look… I do like Amsterdam in November.. So the plan for today was a secret to us… We asked and we would only get.. cafe…. No fucking shit, cause that is all we have been doing since we got here… except the red light district upon landing which pissed him right the fuck off also…. That was so much fun… not just pissing off the ex but also experiencing the red light district!
Compass: We are not telling the full week worth of stories in this one sitting…. It would take more than our normal 30 to 45 minute episode time. So keep it moving….
Chaos: Oh okay… spoil sport.. this would be where I would agree with you if you just wanted to get all of Amsterdam out of the way so we can go back on our own terms.. just saying…
Compass: For Goddess sake get on with the story…
Chaos: As you wish. This day if I remember was rainy. Umbrella don't be silly Compass … we were 22 and wearing a waist high leather bomber jacket… we were fine.. On the transit we jumped. ProVet Tip: in major cities in Europe it is super cheap and most efficient way to travel and experience the cities. Back then the passes included all public transportation, buses, metro and subways… we rode the metro to Dam Station by the Palace… and it was off to the cafe for a morning coffee, chocolate filled croissant and a joint. (Sigh of happiness and fulfillment) Aaaaahhhhhh… the simple things in life.
Compass: Chaos…. CHAOS.. you still with us…
Chaos: Sorry reliving.. that was a happy trigger … you should make note of that you may need to use it soon, if I don't get my alone time.
Compass: Noted.. moving on
Chaos: So after having a coffee break of sorts and making new friends with a few people at the table to the left of us… it was four three guys and a woman all our age at the time… the women were Belgian and the men were Danish… they were meeting up during break for about a week… ex started to get pissy … when asked what the issue was he said he just wanted to go to the next place…
Compass: About that… He may have graduated from Salve in Criminal Justice and he passed the Rhode Island Police Academy which is like a paramilitary training (I know we tried out, can't do the fucking mile run without dying) but he was not smart when it came us. More so Chaos… she was the one in full control back then…
Chaos: Now we play copsucker…(sarcasticley) cause he didn’t know at the start that this was OUR First Europe Trip…again Jackass… So Compass and I had many plans for other countries and experiences… which we saw go up in literal smoke in each fucking cafe..
Compass: So as you can hear Chaos is not happy and about to let ex know about it…
Chaos: As I swivel transports head to lock eyes with excopo I see him shrink just a bit when he finally meets me fully… HI, I'm Chaos and I don't give a fuck about your feelings right now Im just going to destroy you so you leave me the fuck alone…
Compass: Still being in public in another country Heather wasn't about to cause a big scene… but Chaos wasn't going to let his rudeness interrupt Transport meeting new people… all I could do was sit back and wait to see if legal help was going to be required.
Chaos: Transport only allowed.. And where is it that you want to all of the sudden rush off to? And why is it that when I start to make new friends regardless of the gender you all of the sudden get pissy and there is something or somewhere we need to be? … Silence…. Ok, let's try this.. when we were sitting in a cafe two days ago on a cloudy day after two hours of talking with the owner when I said I wanted to go out to the windmills you just wanted to sit there and talk with the owner and smoke all day… What is the difference here? Oh that's right you have something planned you want to do… everything that we compromised on that we wanted to do is not remembered… Thanks for that enlightenment.
Compass: It was still better than what you actually wanted to do Chaos….
Chaos: you should have just let me grab him by the back of his head and slam his face into his pre rolled joints… I guess I do have another regret… regrets are not good I'm gonna have to stop holding back..
Compass: The fuck I'm letting any looser than you already are… fucking going around face slamming people.. fuck is the matter with you… dumb twit..
Heather: Whoa Compass that was out of character for you… everything okay?
Compass: NO it's not.. if you want to be honest… I am fucking tired of being the fucking responsible adult, tired of having to be responsible,. logical, reasonable when it seems like the rest of the fucking world that I deal with is childish, irrational, entitled, affluent pricks that wouldn't survive without someone reminding them to fucking breath… stop telling them to breath!!
Heather: Compass … Compass… it's ok… you know that not everyone we encounter on a daily is like that… yes it seems like a majority…. We are just getting numb… soon we won't care cause we won't feel anything…
Chaos: oh no… no one's going numb.. not you transport… not you Compass… we are in this life to experience it all .. As dad would say.. put on your big girl panties, stand up straight and go slap the stupid out people… just make sure they swing first. Simple
Compass: No it's not… cause when we are all on that page.. no one calls our bluff… it's always when we are calm and unexpected…
Heather: Okay… Chaos 30 minute time out on giving more fuel to Compass’s crack, break it and no mic privileges for you for two weeks… Compass you need some mental peace… from job duties, domestic duties, memory content recall, editing, adulting Chaos and myself.. I feel it, I get it… I know you are close to snapping and Chaos is not helping in the way I would like her… but she is helping in her own way. This time I got us!
Chaos: Yeah!!... wait.. What?!
Compass: Ahhh I don't know if I am happy or anxious about this.. Chaos you know anything about this
Chaos: (sound shocked and hurt) I really honestly don't know and I'm hurt and pissed that I don't know what is going on… are you moonlighting on us with other voices??
Heather: (laughing) What you two don't know about where you inhabit would make your skin crawl… even Chaos’s. Think of it this way.. in ancient times there were Titans for instance (Greek mythology for those that don't know) they ruled… then the Gods & Goddess the ones that weren't eaten by their father..revolted. locking the Titans up in different ways… not destroying them completely just keeping them contained, controlled and for consulting when required. That's roughly where you live.. currently in the reign of the Goddess’s..
Compass: There is more to it than that in the mythology… so knowing that is just scary.
Chaos: I want to meet our Titan brethren…where you hiding them at?! I'll find them… no no.. (Excited) Don't tell me it will be like a treasure hunt!! (sing like im so excited song) I'm so excited … and I won't hide it …I'm about to lose my shit… n I don't mind it… I'm going to find them.. a find them
Compass: Okay.. Okay… Sorry this is my fault for the crack in my control. Kin and Heather my sincere apologies. I had a slight mental crack. I will try not to let it happen again…
Heather: Compass .. No… there is no more apologizing for our cracks.. our bends and ever so often a break.. it happens. It's our lesson to be learned that enough is enough before we get here… So you're good and our Kin understands what it means to feel pressure from every side not being able to breathe for yourself.
Chaos: And if they don't fuck them for not having the tits to admit that they have at one point cracked, bent, flustered and or broke… to those that are lying stop listening to my podcast you fucking hypocrites!
Heather: And compared to what Chaos says, even somewhat filtered through us ( honestly if we did chaos unfiltered, we would never be allowed out in public again!) … you owe no apology Compass.. Chaos thank you for having her back.
Chaos: No thanks please .. can we please get back to one of my favorite memories… I'll beg if I have to..
Compass: Thank you…Chaos apologizing and thanking is a no… but begging you'll do… That may make me feel better.. only one way to find out I guess… start your grovelling..
Heather: No one is grovelling or begging… Compass we can save that for the episode she really wants to do.. a college of politics, religion and sex over our 30 years of travel…For now let her get on with the memory…
Chaos: don't think I forgot about those Titan you spoke of either, but after the episode…. Ahhh hold on, I have to remember where I left off… [mumbles barely able to hear] ex cop, pussied out, no for answer, meet Isis..
Compass: A ladies name, not the terrorist group… just so we are clear
Chaos: Welcome back…. But now I’m lost again… hold please.. [mumbles] red light district… Isis… pissed off ex… now at a cafe making new friends… pissed off ex again.. Oh yeah… Face smash… Chaos SMASH!!
Compass: No smash…. Words…
Chaos: Feels like smash time to me still…. With no real answer from excopo except cause I don’t want to stay here all day… Transport advised that when he had somewhere in mind to go then we would go, until then he could leave or sit there with us. His feelings were irrelevant to us at this point. He sat there, across from Transport with his arms crossed, a frown on his face, trying for the hard cop stare [giggles] silly rabbit…. You don’t have the tits for this fight…. This was a game dad used to play…. Stare in silence until you break, mastered at 7 .. Juris Doctrine at 14…. This excopo had only been on the force for just over two years…. At least he had a pretty mouth!
Compass: Dear Goddess’ please don’t….
Chaos: This time Compass, solely due to your crack, I promise I won’t go there… As excopo sat there for the next 20 minutes trying for the intimidation stare or the Valkin Mind trick to work; Transport smoked, enjoyed her coffee and conversation with her new found friends… For our younger listeners, the new cell phones back then (I sound like our parents, dam it ..they said that would happen!!) were the flip phones, texting was just becoming big and was paid for per text… having a mini computer attached to your hand…. to look for attractions in Amsterdam was only a thought in Steve Jobs head…
Compass: He finally figured out that he lost the silent staring game that we weren’t even playing, even if we were…. it doesn’t work on us. Unfolding his arms he announced that he wanted to go on a canal cruise..
Chaos: At the time I didn’t see that being a smart move on his part…. Tourists fall overboard into the canals all the time, especially when they are all smoked up. That was a risk I was willing to take…. Transport was coming back dry. Saying good bye to our new friends we gave them a jerk of the head towards excopo and an eye roll… everyone got a good laugh.
Compass: Out of the cafe we went, walking the narrow sidewalks of Amsterdam to Central Station where all the tourist boats are. He decided on one that was going to board in about 15 minutes. Pulling a pre rolled joint out of somewhere, he walked us off to a bench along the canal to wait and smoke again!
Chaos: Not for us….We weren’t on his caliber for green yet…. But there were two solid reasons.. 1. Smoking was only allowed within the grounds of the cafes that sold weed. Public street smoking was a no no… Not on our first trip to Europe anyway. 2. We were already in a smoky haze, no need to create a whiteout. Transport started taking a few polaroids of the huge bike tower by Central Station, a few of Central Stations facade and up and down the canal before boarding, kept me from pitching a cop over a rail…
Compass: His superiors were expecting him back… his family was expecting him back… remember..
Chaos: That is easy to explain… He got sick of Transports bullshit and left… how are we to know where he went… this was a time before street cameras and cell cameras…. But that was just a fantasy… Reality we boarded. What can we say, he had the tits to take the chance that he may be tossed off a boat. I’ll give him that.
Compass: It was a wonderful ride of the canals by day. We had already done it by night.. This was a different view. PRO VET TIP: Some things such as canal cruises, Colosseum, Parthenon, Pantheon, Pyramids are always worth at minimum second view…. It’s the very definition of looking different by day and then by night. Seeing the narrow houses, the museums and the beautifully kept bridges that criss cross the canals….
Chaos: Now having seen both Venice and Amsterdam…. Two very different vibes, styles and looks. Amsterdam should never be confused or miscategorized as a “Venice of the” anything… So now having killed an hour and drizzling … we didn’t even need to ask where to next! Already knew….. A fucking cafe… Honestly there are only two that stand out 1. The Grasshopper which is an extremely touristy cafe. Only reason we remember is because still have a tank top from there with a grasshopper smoking a joint on the front… 2nd isn’t there any more but that place was cool. The interior was all couches and pillows, an eclectic mix of throws, tapestries, chimes and such… I couldn’t stop Transports head from swirling all around…
Compass: The haze was still lingering from our breakfast, I was not in need of more… I had Heather order a coffee, Chaos decided to assist our ex in making another pre roll disappear….
Chaos: It worked… as we came up to the half way point of the joint I had Transport ask excopo what’s next on the sightseeing list… This time he actually came out with a quick answer.. Let’s go to the diamond factory… Okay…. I am game. We got money to burn.
Compass: Yeah back then we did… and YOU and TRANSPORT DID BURN IT… so stupid.. Except for our travels, education, our apartment and car… okay so maybe we didn’t burn it… But we could have had better savings.
Chaos: coulda, shoulda.. Didn’t ya…. In the past just learn from it.
Compass: Oh we did… don't you worry.
Chaos: Something you're not telling us? … I can smell it… don’t worry I’ll find out.. But right now…. Is where this story is going to really start to move… So on to the diamond factory, one of the many in Amsterdam. Pro Vet Tip: Another place like St. Thomas to buy gems for cheap. Most of the world's Diamonds and Gems pass through Amsterdam, thanks to the Jewish community since the late 1600’s.. Buy here…. So as we toured the factory to see how diamonds are cut, grinded, polished and then all the different factors in grading a diamond, the 4 C’s. Compass was taking notes that we still use today. At the end of the tour we are put in a room with a shit ton of loose diamonds ranging in all sizes, cuts, clarity color etc… It was like a sur real dream.
Compass: Chaos had seen a few loose stones that she liked… which for the price were good, but I had to remind her that 1. US Customs 2. Now we would have to find a setting or have one made just for the stones… not practical. *PRO VET TIP: While loose gems and diamonds are a good deal, you must claim them for US Customs (check the government website for allotment) …. We tend to make purchases that we can wear … not have to carry.
Chaos: So that was a no since Transport agreed…. After giving the tour group time with the loose stones they then trodden us down to the jewelry store where the stones were already set in any type of wear accessory you could possibly want. I saw a few rings that I liked and tried them on under the watchful eye of excopo…. None popped when we put them on…. After about another 30 minutes of looking and trying I was ready…. Nothing was needing to be mine. Turing to excopo we ask.. Ready…. Before we could say anything else he asked… is there anything that you see you like…
Compass: Chaos wanted to slap him… you just watched us try on at least 10 rings, 2 necklaces and a bracelet.. All put back…
Chaos: What the fuck do you think Albert…. But again.. Transport playing nice… No not really… to which excopo replies… you sure look again… if there is anything I will buy it for you… Transport replies… No I am good nothing jumps out…. He then walks over to a case that we had tried a ring on and mulled it over longer than the others… and looks at us and says what about this one, you seemed to like that one… Now I am just aggravated and Transport is going to make it known…. She walks over to him, looks him dead in the eye and says If I wanted that ring I would have bought it. He fires back, what if I want to buy you the ring…. Oh you want to go that route do you…
Compass: Heather without missing a beat… that would depend on which finger you would expect me to wear it on….
Chaos: [giggles] fool…. Dance puppet dance puppet….[sarcasticly] Because this what Transport meant when she said she NEVER wanted to get married…. And he hears…she wants the proposal without proposing….. WRONG COPSUCKER…. So I say dance puppet dance….
Compass: Which he did.. Cause by the look on his face he did not want to say why he wanted to buy Heather the ring nor did he want to advise which finger, at least not right away…
Chaos: Can’t keep things hidden from me for long…. I already knew but he didn’t…. So being the professor of the silent stare, he cracked and advised…. what if I said it was for this finger… and points to the engagement finger….
Compass: Chaos is laughing so hard she is making Heather have to pee…. This is not going to be good… this was not…an I am having fun, do it again kinda laugh… This was a wicked witch laugh that just says I snatched your dog, cat,horse and your mamma. No good was going to come of this, at least not for our ex.
Chaos: {giggling] I can’t take credit for Transports answer here…. This was all her, I couldn’t get my breath to talk. Da Da Dah… Here comes Transport to wreck his world….. still looking him dead in the eyes says… if that is the finger you want me to wear a diamond ring on… that you.. my boyfriend bought, we are going to have to have a very long talk before that ring even touches my finger about what that means and what expectations you think come with that ring.
Compass: It was actually very sad watching the air get sucker punched out of him… it was almost like his whole internal world just imploded and is now lost.
Chaos: He should have listened….We have never been that girl… We didn’t dream of our wedding or our perfect husband… We dreamed of just getting up and going whenever we wanted… Never answering to anyone, if we didn’t want to come home it wasn’t required… We were living what we dreamed of in our early 20’s….. FREEDOM!! We were not ready and he was not the one.. We all knew this. It was still better than having to ask the question WHY DO YOU WANT TO MARRY ME? And having to listen to the same bullshit answer. LustLove, money, healthcare..pregnate.. Those are Excuses, not reasons people. Stomping out of the diamond factory, excopo needed a drink and of course a joint….. So he found both in silence and we followed enjoying the city scenes in delightful, peaceful silence.
Compass: At each place we went Transport order a coffee and something to snack on. Keeping all communication to a minimum. After having his fill of drink and smoke it was time to get back on the metro to the hotel.
Chaos: Fast forward about 5 months after this trip…. Back in the States… for the sake of what I promised Compass, we will say I had Transport make a funny compliment to excopo which did not go over well….
Compass: It was childish all around.. The compliment though true, possibly funny in some eyes and the reaction.. All over dramatized…
Chaos: Yes, well…. You sure I can’t tell them….
Compass: No…. you promised, you are a woman of your word, are you not?…
Chaos: I am when I promise, no matter what… Can I at least just give our Kin who have been listening for 16 episodes a hint, then they can take it where they want? Please, please …. PRETTY PLEASE….
Compass: [laughing] did you really just beg…. That really made me feel better…. [laughing harder] you are really giving me the doe eyes….. Oh Goddess this was worth my public cracking…. Thank you.
Chaos: [whining] well……
Compass: [Laughing] I will give you some positive reinforcement, I know you have been aching to get this out… So here is my deal.. You get one short 10 or less word sentence.
Chaos: Okay, Let’s just say a question was posed to him…. which ex-girlfriend of yours should we go thank [giggles] …. Take what you will from that and have fun….. So Anyway…..a cooling off period was necessary… Bye bye….
Compass: Chaos would have Heather just jump in her car and just take off whenever whim arised… This was no different, after taking a three day hiatus from everything which no one knew about…. We returned to hear that excopo went to our momo….. And not just our mom, but to our mom’s work… and CRIED…. Legit cried….because we are being mean!! DUDE, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW….. Our mom is telling us he was there for about an hour and a half crying that we are in a fight, I won’t take his calls or come home cause he keeps checking… he doesn’t know where I am….
Compass: As our mom is telling us this on our cell phone on the way home from our secret hiatus…… Heather is laughing so hard she is crying while driving, dangerous combo… Chaos is flipping out ready to turn excopos own service pistol on him…. And make swiss cheese…
Chaos: I mean WHAT KIND OF MAN goes to a girlfriend's mother to cry about her being mean to him…. And on top of that….. He tells our mom that he proposed back in Amsterdam but we turned him down…. OH BOY…… that did not hit Transport well at all…. I really couldn’t have given any more fuel if I wanted to…
Compass: That was the quickest flip I ever saw her do…. She went from laugh crying in humor to exhaling fire in seconds…. She even checked just to be sure that he told her that he actually asked "will you marry me”.. Proposed…. Mom said yes that is what he said….
Chaos: Well we can’t have mom being lied to.. Not by anyone but her own children….. So we set that record straight with mom real fast.. Telling her the story as you just heard above….
Compass: Moms reply was… when you get home we will be waiting, just don't go to jail…. And try to be nice, I like him.
Chaos: Of course you do….. Nice….She should know better…. OH don’t worry mommy dearest…. We will be on our best behaviour…….. As long as he doesn’t say anything stupid…. Mommy was correct… he was there… I threw the car in park, jumped out, grabbed my shit and unlocked my door…. Excopo walking up behind me… I had Transport drop her shit right there spin on her heel before he even crossed the threshold and went at him….. You fucking went to my mothers fucking work….. Who the fuck do you think you are….. You think that was fucking smart… you think by going to my mommy that she was going to help you….. That my mother ever had any say in who I fuck! Then to be here thinking that what ….. I listen to my parents, I play by the rules and nicely, that I am going to cave because my mommy likes you….. GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, I honestly can no longer look at you with any amount of respect as a man at all whatsoever…. You are no man to me. Then she closes the door…. Jumps in the shower, calls her girl and out the back door she goes…. Not wanting to find out if she had a stool pigeon or not. Surprisingly she didn’t have a tail after we got in the car…
Heather: Hi Kin….. Heather Here… I am going to stop Chaos here since the rest has nothing to do with travel and excopo (good nickname cover Chaos, I like it)..
Compass: I concur… that was rather catchy throughout…
Chaos: Always ready with nicknames….. They are like pushing buttons.. Fun to play with and you never know what you're going to get.
Heather: Sure… sounds good. This is my favorite time reflection. Here are a few lessons we hope you took away on top of what you got out of this memory yourself.
1. No one should ever dictate who you take to your bedroom...
2. International Travel with your significant other is a must, it shows real boundaries and personalities (I know you have said this in previous episode, but it is worth repeating)
Chaos: If WE REPEAT IT LISTEN UP.... Cause we really hate repeating ourselves, we will bang our head against a wall, desk anything solid .. so if we repeat it is worth it.
HEATHER: 3. We understand proposals are socially romantic and spontaneous, We want people to be smart this is the rest of your life ... the only thing marriage gets right is DEATH...
Chaos: Just because you take it to bed doesn't mean you have to marry it..
Compass: Okay enough with the peanut gallery... let Heather have her time she got pissed last time we interrupted reflection time.. besides don't you have Titans to go find.. Chaos: Show's over... Later!
Heather: Hey... Hey, get your ass back here .... you still have the outro to do for next week's show...
4. When in the country you are visiting is if there is something you want to experience or experiment with, just be sure you can get our of your own head or be prepared to call it a very early night.
5. NEVER EVER EVER go to someone's mother or what they deem to be a mother figure at their workplace to cry and lie about their daughter... crimes done in rage are messy, no one wants to clean it up or do the paperwork.
6. Travel, no matter where or with whom, is beautifully shitty and gritty... these are where the connections are made and the memories that are worth telling get formed. Travel is like life.. expect the unexpected.
I hope you enjoyed our memory this week. Here are the ladies to say their farewells..
COMPASS (calm, professional tone) On that note… we hope you enjoyed this episode of CompassChaos13. Join us every Sunday at 1 p.m. Eastern, or 1300 hours for our fellow travelers in time zones unknown. Next stop: Philea, Egypt — this time, we are back on our Collette Vacation FAM Tour. This is just another day, another memory and you can bet we’ll be forging even more unforgettable connections.
CHAOS (excited, playful) This is an interesting one….. I did cause total mayhem the entire week — and somehow, we still made it out alive. But hey, the chaos? Always memorable.
COMPASS (mock patience)Anyone out there wanna help a lady out….
CHAOS (interrupting, smirking) Compass please just stop!! 1. THere is no lady here…. And 2. Again That pleading really isn’t working … So, Keep your shit to yourself. We will go on talking about us because we have plenty of stories going back to 1995 and we have plans on the books for the next two years to make more!! So keep silent, we only need your ears and a finger. Sure you can use the middle one if you want to, I encourage it… Then you can take that finger…
COMPASS: CHAOS!!
CHAOS: and put it right on the share as you post this and the finger to social media using the tag @compasschaos13 … Why cause you know you want to talk ABOUT us not to us…. You love us or hate us, either way your talking baby.. Mauh!
COMPASS (cutting in, mock sigh) Please Stop. The show’s over. Just get out!(sound tired) I’m Compass — bringing the planned direction.
CHAOS (proudly) And I’m Chaos — bringing the unexpected!
CHAOS (in sync) Together, we make global connections.
HEATHER (narrator / flight attendant tone) Welcome back to the present. On behalf of your dueling hosts, Compass and Chaos, thank you for adventuring with CompassChaos13.
Before you stand, please make sure your pants are dry, your eyes are clear, and your snots are wiped — we don’t do refunds for emotional turbulence.
Some of what you heard today may sound unbelievable, but rest assured — it’s all true, and no one on this adventure is innocent.
For photos, travel tips and to read our blogs wander over to www.CompassChaos13.com.
Thank you for connecting with us today. We hope YOUR layover in OUR world brought a little curiosity, a bit of laughter, and a lot of connection.
This is CompassChaos13 — signing off.